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California Girls (1983)
Why is this film so obscure?
Okay, granted, the plot of the movie is nothing we didn't see in a kajillion other sex comedies in the late 1970s and early 1980s, but with a massive soundtrack of nothing but the biggest songs of the time (Foreigner, Blondie, Queen, the Police, etc.) and even a portion of the film shot at a live NFL Rams game, you would figure it would be more well-known than it is. Given the skimpy listing it has here on IMDb, it's surprising. I can understand it not being on DVD - the music rights alone would cost a fortune - but it's a shame it's not even "cult classic" enough to have more than one comment on here before mine.
Better than average, but not by much
As a product of the early 90s porn resurgence, this particular entry does a few things right, but there's enough of the usual to keep it weighted in the "eh" category.
Buck Adams plays the doctor who brings his dead wife (Rebecca Wild) back to life. Unfortunately for him, the brain used is that of a dead axe murderer. As time goes by, the new personality starts to dominate Wild.
The best parts of the film involve Adams and Wild. Unlike many performers in these films, there appears to be true passion in their eyes as they do their business. That scores brownie points with me. Adams isn't a half-bad actor either, and that helps. Also, Wild has never looked more beautiful than in this film. Unfornuately, there's also an out-of-nowhere piece of two consecutive sex scenes involving Anna Malle and two other girls that seem out of place, and are almost of the "pizza delivery guy" school of porn film-making.
Brittany O'Connell contributes a decent enough scene in the middle. Not her best, but far from her worst.
Worth watching for the first Adams/Wild sex scene, and possibly O'Connell's, but otherwise, standard fare.
Planet Max 12 (2002)
Not for me, thanks
I don't "get" Max Hardcore. I mean, I understand what he does and even why he does it, but it's just not something I completely understand. I like my adult films to have something resembling even the remotest sense of erotica in them, and Hardcore could not care less about that. His films are often very...slimy. I just can't think of another word. I won't say he shouldn't be making it, because I'm a proponent of free speech and all that, but it's just a little low-life for me.
This film has Hardcore having sex with three separate women. The first (I think, they may be out of order here) is Amy Lee. Amy's a very cute girl, but she's wearing enough baby-doll make-up to make her look like a nightmare clown from hell (that's another thing I'm not fond of in Hardcore's films: Most of the girls are made up to look younger than they are). Valerie Jo's scene is routine and doesn't get as nasty as Max is known for. Finally, there is Queeny Love. I love Queeny, but her scene here is so much of a nothing that it's worthless.
If you like your pornos rough and sleazy, this is all yours. I'll be checking out something that shows the girls in a little more respective and erotic light.
The Switch Is On (1985)
Better than average
While it wasn't the first, this is the probably the most well-known of all bisexual porn films. It may also be one of the best, even given its age, but that's not really saying too much. For the most part, bi porn has been relegated to the side of the industry, and there has yet to be a truly good film made in the genre. Still, this is better than most. It contains a lot of cute guys and girls, and the sex never gets rough, so it may be the best way to introduce a partner or friend to bi porn.
The impossibly-proportioned Jeff Stryker plays a small-town boy who takes off for California, in hopes of discovering the world and himself. What he discovers is that just about everyone that comes into contact with him, male and female, wants a piece of Stryker's striker. Generally, after the first five minutes, the plot goes right out the window, and the rest of the film is just Jeff and his new friends going at it. Not that that's a bad thing, the women are gorgeous and the men are too. There's also a totally pointless scene in which Stryker dances alone in a shower. It may be pointless, but holy mother of every deity in existence is it awesome.
New Wave Hookers (1985)
A bit overrated
I've never quite understood the appeal this particular porn flick has had with fans. It's often poorly lit, the camera shots are often bad close-ups, and the acting and costumes are horrible (granted, the costumes only because this isn't 1984 anymore).
Basic story is simple enough: Two guys fall asleep watching a porno and dream the same thing, that they're running an escort service. The entire plot revolves around them getting phone calls and sending a girl out to the caller. That's it.
There were originally six sex scenes in this film, but of course, the Lords scene was deleted (and I have not seen it). The remaining five in current prints range from the bad to the actually-okay. The first scene, with Desiree Lane as something of a prototype for BOOGIE NIGHTS' Roller Girl has its moments, and Lane is hot. The second scene, involving a Shiek and two girls, is fairly boring. The third scene, in which a then-rookie Ginger Lynn Allen visits two nerds and gets manhandled by them, is the best of the film. I've never been a fan of Ginger from this period (I really only got to like her after her comeback years later), but this is probably her hottest scene. Also look for a very young Tom Byron as one of the nerds. Byron, I've come to realize is a master of disguise, as he looks different in every single film I've ever seen him in. A couple more sex scenes are fairly non-descript, including the orgy finale with the pimps, the girls and the feds that came to bust them.
I just don't see what the hype about this one is about.
Beauty and the Beast (1988)
A great little sex comedy
Surprisingly, this turned out to be a fairly faithful adaptation of the Beauty and the Beast fairytale, just with a whole lot of sex involved. Here, Tracey Adams plays Beauty, and the usually creepy Mike Horner is her peasant father. I say "usually creepy" because while he normally creeps me out pretty bad, he's quite funny here. In fact, it would almost appear he's doing a bit of a Roddy Piper imitation, at least in his mannerisms.
Anyway, Dad has to send Beauty to live with the Beast (John Leslie) for a while, and of course, she falls in love with him. The make-up effects for the beast (relegated just to his face and head) are astonishingly well-done. Beyond this, we have Beauty's sex-crazed sister (Nikki Nights) and Mother Goose (Alicia Monet), who randomly pops in to take part in the sex.
The real star of the film, though is Megan Lee (aka Megan Leigh) as the Beast's maid. She is so absolutely hot here that she steals every scene she's in. It's sad that she was around in the desolate world of late 80's porn, because she would have been a sure-fire star either five years earlier or later.
Overall, this is a fine, fun and FUNNY little porn flick. The humor is good (Leslie gets the best lines), most of the sex not involving Jerry Butler is hot and Mike Horner didn't give me the heebie jeebies.
Twin Action (1993)
Stupid story, great sex
This is probably one of the silliest plots I've ever seen in a porn flick, dealing with some formula for enlarging breasts and a guy who can change shape into attractive females trying to gain the formula. It's just incredibly dumb. That said, it has some fantastic sex scenes involving Rebecca Wild and Lynn LeMay. In fact, LeMay not only gets two such scenes, but they may be the hottest of her career. The rest of the girls involved are pretty much of the "eh" variety, but between Wild and LeMay, there's at least half an hour of great material here. Big breast-lovers will have a field day here, and I heartily recommend it just for the above scenes.
Teacher's Pet 3 (2002)
Best of the series
I hadn't been much of a fan of the then-just started TEACHER'S PET series when it came out. However, by volume 3, it started to get a little better. A lot better, in fact. This was the volume that I feel made the series a decent one in the adult "deb" genre, just below BARELY LEGAL, but far ahead of EXTREME TEEN.
This semi-gonzo, semi-film is set up in four segments, each with a different attractive young woman, all set in a school environment (junior college, supposedly, to avoid any, er, ramifications).
The first segment stars a woman named Allaura who ends up basically being gang-banged by an entire football team and their coach. Not the best of the segments, but more skin per square foot than the rest.
Segment 2 is my personal favorite, and it stars Drew. Here, she and a scruffy-looking bus driver find every possible position they can think of to have sex on and over bus seats. Some of the positions are positively impossible looking, and Drew has such a great, innocent look to her that I didn't mind the man in the scene looking like a potential serial killer.
Segment 3 features Claire, and in it she plays a sex-ed student whose female teacher encourages her and a male student to work out their lessons in the classroom. The three have some pretty nice moments, and Claire is dynamite.
Finally, the fourth and final segment features the powerhouse that is Ashley Blue. This girl has some serious greatness, and she's not afraid to show it. Whereas the other segments take place at schools, this one is a homebound scene, where a teacher comes by to help out Ashley. It's still quite nice.
All in all, well shot with some fantastic girls. Now if they'd just do something about those potential serial killers...
Davey and the Cruisers (1989)
One of the better gay-themed adult films
I've seen my fair share of gay adult cinema, and almost all of it has left me cold. For the most part, these films employ men who look like either thugs, roidheads or skinny kids. DAVEY AND THE CRUISERS is a departure from this, as most of the men involved are good-looking with really nice bodies. While it's still a shot-on-video product, the production values are a little higher than normal for gay porn (which is usually even less than straight porn).
Overall, I really enjoyed the film. Director Chi Chi LaRue is hit and miss, but here he hits. With an adult film of any type, I have only a couple of requirements: hot performers and hot sex. DAVEY fills the requirements for both.
The Giant Claw (1957)
Great movie, lousy spfx
What SHOULD have been one of the best of the late-1950s creature features is reduced to a laughing stock by inadequate special effects. THE GIANT CLAW is almost a great film, with a no-nonsense plot and fantastic acting. It's tense and well-written. What kills it though, is the monster. The giant claw of the title is a bird "the size of a battleship" but it looks like something out of a "what if a Sid & Marty Kroft puppet went horribly wrong" nightmare. I've seen piñatas that were more realistic. Apparently, they farmed the effects out to the lowest bidder in Mexico, and got what they paid for. Otherwise, it's a fine monster flick. With a better creature, it'd be right up there with THEM! and CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON.
The Witches of Breastwick (2005)
Great soft-core film
As another commentator stated, this is follow-up by Wynorski, using a lot of the same cast and crew from his LUST CONNECTION film. That was a great piece of soft-core film-making, if not in plot, but rather in its erotic elements. This is just as good, with a cast of women who, while they will never win Oscars, are just right for the job. First up is the trio of "witches" and all three bring their big-busted, beautiful selves to the game. Glori-Anne Gilbert and Julie K. Smith have never looked better, and Stormy (aka the fantasy girl in 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN) is a sight to behold. Also, while she doesn't have the top-heavy assets of her co-stars, Monique Parent holds her own here. A good decade since her heyday, Parent is still scorching, and her sex scenes are so intense, you will think they were the real thing.
I wanted to like this, I really did. It had a lot of my favorite porn actresses in it (Monroe, O'Connell, Margot (aka Tiffany Millions)), but it was done in such a weird style, with all kinds of freaky editing and no sense at all. The sex scenes are fine, with the best being between Monroe and Melanie Moore, but you really have to soldier through the film to get to them. Crystal Wilder is another standout here. Jenna Fine hadn't quite gone into super-scary mode yet, either. The guys involved are typical of this time period (Boy, Byron, etc) so it really ends up being the same-ol', same-ol'. But that horrible editing and plot line just leaves the whole thing with a "what was that" feeling.
A clash of styles, but it works
I've complained long and hard about all of the adult videos that feel the need to insert either too much slow-motion action or too much MTV-style rapid pace editing. METROPOLIS uses both styles, but relies on neither entirely. Along with these, we also get the classic "real time" style sex, and together, the three bring this together to be quite a great film. The sets are bizarre in their neon lights, and the women are hot. Best of all is a scene involving self-professed MILF Vicky Vette, a blonde brickhouse who will make every viewer forget those skinny little "barely legal" types. This woman has it going on, and her threesome with two men is fantastic.
Barely Legal 45 (2003)
Breakout performance of 2003
Generally speaking, this, the 45th edition of the Barely Legal series, is most like every other episode. A handful of really hot young girls getting it on with guys, usually in the girls' debuts in the genre. This chapter is special though, as it features some of the earliest work of the tremendous Audrey Hollander. While she's gone on to become a bit overexposed since then, Hollander arrived like the red-headed firecracker she is here. At the time, she seemed like the furthest thing from a "porn girl" you could think of, with her sweet smile and creamy skin. Her scene, of course, ended up being the best of the disc, and with reason: She is a scorcher in every sense of the word. It's great that she's gone on to bigger and better things.
1 Night in China (2004)
For the adventurous
Now I have to be honest with myself and the readers: This is not the type of adult film that will be for everyone. Its celebrity status aside, it's a darkly-lit film with two "performers" who are by no means the most attractive of specimens. Sean Waltman is a scruffy, skinny guy who says the most obnoxious things, while Joanie (aka Chyna) is a very muscular woman, and to help turn things off for most, her genitalia is swollen, probably in no small part to past steroid use. All of that be damned, I actually kinda liked the home video these two made. Sorry, but I have a thing for Joanie, enlarged privates and all. She may not be the definition of femininity, but watching her go at it got me aroused.
Specs Appeal 17 (2004)
Fetish title with some spunk
This title, as are all of the films in the series, is a fetish tape, with the fetish being girls in glasses. While that may not seem all that taboo, it's certainly a hot one. These girls are some of the best of the young crowd, and they are all exceptionally good at what they do. The best, though, may be a natural-breasted blonde named Shawnie. Her scene is absolutely awesome, with her aggressively taking her man and working him over. She has a definite future in this business.
Sure, it's got a bit of a difference to it, but really, outside of the gimmick of the glasses, this is right up there with any of the other films of this type. Recommended.
Jenna Uncut & Uncensored (2004)
Fans of Jenna Jameson have nowhere else to look but this 2-disc set of her best scenes. A compilation, it dispenses with any nonsense like plot, and takes the viewer right to the hot sex. Each scene is presented in two forms: The version as seen in the film each scene was taken from, and a raw, uncut form, complete with director's voice telling the stars what to do, as well as Jenna and others taking breaks, etc.
Jenna Jameson, with her incredibly awesome (but fake) breasts, is the biggest porn star ever, and this DVD does the job well of collecting her best scenes in one place.
Horrible Horror (1986)
One of the best monster compilations ever
This tape is perhaps one of the funnest, greatest compilations of old movie clips ever assembled. Hosted by legendary television host Zacherley, it's a veritable army of clips, trailers and bits of old b-movies, many of which are the worst of the worst.
Zacherley, some 20-30 years after his heyday, is in fine form here, as he introduces segments devoted to different themes. The clips are of the so-bad-they're-great variety, including trailers for ROBOT MONSTER and THE KILLER SHREWS (a great promo piece that's not in the actual film). There's a fantastic section on Bela Lugosi, with pieces of interviews and television appearances. I was introduced to films I'd never heard of, like the Mexican z-classic THE BRAINIAC.
All in all, a great party film.
Once You Go Black (2003)
This is probably the best of the so-called "interracial porn" genre. I've never cared much for that "disclaimer" (I like women and men of both races), this is an absolutely great DVD on all levels. August Night and her bubblebutt are stunning, as is her sex scene. In fact, all of the sex scenes are well-done and intense. The best may be Alexa Rae's though. Before her scene, she oils herself down. Then she reveals her toned body and fantastic chest. The men here are hot as well, and while Mandingo may have the edge in the member-size department, Lexington Steele is an absolutely handsome man who makes even this man drool. Gorgeous girls, hot guys, awesome sex scenes, this is perfect for the porn-lover.
Sodomania 24 (1998)
Raylin is a goddess
One thing and one thing only makes this a better porn film than most: Raylin. This goddess (not to be confused with Raylene, another skin industry veteran) has a look that shouldn't work, but does. She's got huge fake breasts, dark tanned skin and incredibly pale tan lines. While I don't think this would look good on anyone, Raylin pulls it off, and what's more, she has an incredible sex scene here. Her pre-sex interview is almost of the Ed Powers variety, but once she disrobes and gets into action, she is extremely hot and arousing. The rest of the girls on this gonzo-style (i.e. no plot) disc are fine, but it's Raylin that brings the goods to market here.
Bi on the Fourth of July (1994)
Even Sharon Kane couldn't save this one
I will watch any bi tape with Sharon Kane in it. Normally she brings a heat and presence to a film that makes it worthwhile, and she actually seems to enjoy being part of the proceedings. That's a change from most women involved in bisexual porn films, who almost always seem to be just there to collect a check and aren't too keen on the male-on-male action. And while Kane is her usual self here, giving off a radiant heat that would burn the sun, the production values are her enemy, killing any and all erotic elements. The film is so poorly shot that you have to wonder if a blind hamster was filming it. That's a shame, because that alone makes it one of the few Kane-involved bi films I can't rewatch again and again.
Ginger's best comeback film
Since her comeback, Ginger Lynn has been absolutely scorching in her porn films. This one may just be the best, and she's surrounded by a fantastic cast. With some of my favorites like Chloe, Tina Tyler, Kylie Ireland and even Miss Sharon Mitchell involved, there's a lot of great action abounding. The best scene has Ginger imagining a tryst with Juli Ashton, who plays a stewardess. The meeting of these two blonde bombshells, with the always-handsome Sean Michaels looking on and occasionally lending a hand (and other body parts), is worth the price of admission alone. Ashton is at her best here, and the humor of the scene is genuinely hilarious.
Ginger gets better with age
I was never a big fan of Ginger Lynn's early work. She seemed to be cut from the same mold as all the other porn stars of the mid-80's. After her comeback, though, I've found an all-new appreciation for her. Though older, she has a fire about her that she didn't have before, and she still looks great. She also has a lot more in the acting department.
For the most part, this is just another so-so porn flick, and while the production values are high, I didn't care for the kidnapping plot. Something about that just doesn't arouse me. However, the finale, where Ginger finally realizes she loves her abductor and the two have sex outside is fantastic. This is the Ginger I admire.
Buttwoman Iz Bella (2001)
Good and bad
This DVD has its good points and its bad. The bad is the first couple of scenes, which, unfortunately, include star Bella Donna being slapped and spit upon. I don't know who actually enjoys that kind of junk in their porn, but it's not me. The genuine look of surprise, disgust and hurt on her face during it had me fast forwarding.
On the other hand, the orgy finale is fantastic. In fact, it's possibly the best orgy scene I've ever witnessed in a porn film. The women (including Bella) are radiant, and more importantly, real. These are gorgeous women, but they aren't bubble-headed blonde bimbos either. The men in the scene are great-looking as well, well-built and not a Rocco in sight. The eye candy here, male and female, is just fantastic.
Island Fever 3 (2004)
Enough with the slow-motion!
This SHOULD be one of the greatest porn films ever made. With gorgeous settings, high production values and three of the hottest girls in today's industry (Jane, Devon, Tera), this has everything going for it. BUT...the entire film is shot in an irritating slow-motion style. The curse of Andrew Blake lives on, it appears, as others have begun to adopt his style. I personally hate this type of filming. I have no problem with a regular porn film occasionally having a slow-motion scene, but the whole thing??? Ugh. It's a shame, too. Watching Jesse Jane roll around, fondling herself, then having a male performer take her from behind in the clear ocean water is absolutely stunning visually, but the slow-motion kills it.