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Dog House (1990)
A true gem! Catch the excitement
Quite possibly the best talking animal show ever produced outside of ALF. Jonathan Shapiro shines. Watch closely and you'll see a young Avril Lavigne in this Canadian production. Tuna Sandwich recipe: tuna, mayo, whole grain bread. Serve with juice. DOG HOUSE (DOME NA SABBAKA in Russian) is a lost classic you won't want to miss. Chicken Stir Fry: chicken, veggies, sunflower oil, teriyaki sauce. Serve with ice tea. Some of my favorite colors: Red, black, blackish red. This show is noted for its hilarious antics and breathtaking canine actions scenes (eat your heart out, Benji). Edgy for its time. Jonathan Shapiro shines! Anyone claiming that this show is "silly" obviously just doesn't get it.
Make a Wish (2002)
Please make it go away.
I don't think the Ferranti family is fooling anyone with their IMDb voting. Most theaters advertise this one as a "lesbian slasher film". Here's the thing...there's no slashing, and the lesbians are stereotypical dykes that will have more than one self-respecting homosexual standing up and calling foul. The entire time you're sitting through the meandering plot, abysmal dialogue and wretched emoting, you're waiting for one satisfying splatter scene...which never arrives. The acting: unintentionally comical. The music: distracting and inappropriate. The ending: is like getting kicked in the head while you're unconscious. NYC theaters exhibiting this trash should be ashamed. Not "so bad it's good" but "so bad it's good to not be a Ferranti".
Solimsa jucheongwidong (1982)
The "Sixth Sense" of Kung Fu!
Given the proper state of mind, this is one hell of a film for the trash cinema fan. Passable kung fu, ghosts, a flying red ball that deliver horrible, horrible death, and a 30 minute comedy interlude that comes out of nowhere. There was also a zombie in there somewhere, but I CANNOT GUARANTEE IT. Surprisingly gore-filled and they don't skimp on the nudity either. Makes for a pleasant evening with like-minded friends. Double Bill it with: "Story of Ricky". Consider: Is the "Red Ball" the prototype for Phantasm's flying ball? Notice: music ripped straight outta "Master of the Flying Guillotine".
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)
Not worth $1.38, let alone $138
Like anyone who would pay the "suggested retail value" for a video, this movie is idiotic. Furthermore, if you happen to be roommates with said idiotic human being, I feel nothing but pity for you. I've been there, I've watched this horrific movie, and the only thing you'll get out of it is an unquenched desire to make Minnie Driver your love-slave. Then, go and spend $137.99 on drugs. Do the world a favour, submit yourself to the Darwin awards.
Lik wong (1991)
Watching this movie will leave you forever changed. The greatest film of all time? The pre-cursor to Mortal Kombat? Tuna? Heads explode, men are relieved of their vital organs, canines are reduced to crimson fur. Prepare yourself for Story of Ricky. Category III cinema at its finest...YOU REALLY ARE OK, RICKY!