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One yard short of a first down
19 March 2000
Do you think Matthew Perry falling over is comic genius? Do you convulse with laughter when you see someone have a nervous twitch? If you said yes to both those questions then The Whole Nine Yards is the movie for you! Unfortunately the film is not the smart, intriguing comedy that the previews set it up as. The film does have two high points, namely Bruce Willis and Michael Clarke Duncan who do a commendable job portraying contract-killers. Unfortunately the rest of the cast does not bring the same charisma to the movie and Matthew Perry in particular is extremely disappointing in the lead role. The Whole Nine Yards tries to be too many things: comedy, mystery, romance and action. Instead of being a quality film in one of those genres it tries to hard to combine the four and winds up faltering. If you went into this movie and didn't know what it was about, there's a good chance you could enjoy parts of it, but if you expect an intelligent comedy you will be sorely disappointed.
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A Titanic-like film, which is to say really over-rated
26 September 1999
Let me begin by saying that Sixth Sense is not a "bad" movie, instead it is an average movie. The whole film was built ground up from the ending, and no film has ever made it so painfully obvious that the ending was written first and then a story was added to make it long enough. Also I have a terrible bit of information to tell everyone, Bruce Willis is really bad at acting like he cares. It didn't work in Armageddon, it doesn't work here, and it's not going to work the next time he's cast as a truly caring man. Though in all honesty if you think about this film in great detail you realize he does not care, and is simply incredibly self-serving. Despite all my personal distaste for this film, it is not one of the worst movies ever made, but it is nothing more than average. The plot is relatively simple, and if you go into the theater actually thinking you'll know how the movie is going to end within half an hour. The only real reason to see this movie is so that you can see if you can figure out the ending before the end of the film. After you've seen this once and seen how it ends, it is incredibly unlikely that the weak plot line will be enough to draw you back for a second time. This movie can be fun as a one-time mind quest to figure out the conclusion, but once you know the ending, this movie really has very little, if anything to offer.
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