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The Simpsons: Apocalypse Cow (2008)
Season 19, Episode 17
No racism in this episode, or in this series.
6 July 2008
The Simpsons has something for everyone. Homer is stupid, Marge represses her anger, Lisa is a PC Feminist, Bart is destructive. Dr. Hibbert has been seen in a Mr. T mohawk, an 80's fade, a hippy afro and a Cosby sweater. Apu owns the Kwikee-Mart. Krusty's dad is a Hasidic Rabbi. Ned Flanders and his brood are super-Christians.

Most of the characters on The Simpsons are "white" - (well, yellow). Cletus and Brandine are hillbilly caricatures. No one is actually like this. Anyone calling this racism is very silly. And considering all the crap "white" people have given other colors and races over the centuries, I think a little redneck fun-poking ain't gonna hurt no one no how. Lighten up, y'all.
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Pochacco (1994 Video)
The best movie about a skateboarding pup ever!
1 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This cartoon couldn't be better. It's the day before Pochacco's birthday, and he's skateboarding around looking for his friends. He hopes to have a grand party with them the next day, but they all seem busy! This upsets our hero pup, but without giving away any spoilers I can safely say don't worry, everything's gonna be just great! Then in the movie "Excitement at the Carrot Patch", Pocchacco and his best friend Choppi come through for someone when he really needs them. And we get to meet a fun new character too!

You won't be able to get enough of Pochacco, his friends, his neighborhood, his adorable house and his quest for fun. Buy it now! woot.

This is not a paid endorsement. I just love Pochacco. fer real.
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25 Lame (1999 TV Movie)
Finally MTV Targets my Demo!
15 May 2005
I watch VH-1 way more than MTV these days, being that I am 38 years old and I cannot stomach Ashlee Simpson or MTV Spring Break (I do love Viva La Bam and Jackass though so go figure). But 25 Lame was so cool, going so far as to show Janeane smoking on the set (no! not in front of the children!) and talking about these videos as though they were at a mid -30's slumber party. I have it on tape so I am lucky, but I agree they should include it on a DVD somewhere. I feel like they were completely talking to me and people my age (who started out puberty with MTV and grew up with it) and it was way cool.

Best lines; John Stewart "What do you mean?? They're walking in the CLOUDS! Why must you be so cynical?"

Chris Kattan: "Look! Rico Suave!" and then later with the same sombrero and tiny guitar "Look! Macarena!"

Chris Kattan: "Why are they at Home Depot?"

Chris Kattan, donning moustache "I'm Oates!"

Denis Leary accusing Janeane of liking Good Will Hunting because she said "The boys were cute."

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excellent show, and I miss it!
6 March 2004
This show was great, I would definitely buy this on DVD. Louis has

the best way of talking to various nutjobs and asking questions

without belittling them or trying to make them look foolish; he just

lets them do that on their own! He appears sincere and just out for

information, which I believe he is. It's kind of like those Daily Show

segments without the smarm. I have nothing more to add, but the

imdb wants me to write at least 10 lines, so here we go; this show

rules, it's so great, I love it, yahoo, woo! Yes! this show rules, it's so

great, I love it, yahoo, woo! Yes!this show rules, it's so great, I love

it, yahoo, woo! Yes! Bring this back, Bravo!
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Reel Wild Cinema (1995– )
one of the best campy shows ever
15 November 2003
Late Night on Sunday the USA Network would show Sandra B. hosting a series about B-movies, drive-in horror flicks and exploitation films from the 50's and 60's. VERY cool! I think it would last a lot longer if it were brought back today, since there is more of an appreciation for all things "offbeat" and weird. Way back in 1994 (chuckle) I guess there just wasn't a market. But you can still buy the movies from Something Weird Video, which rocks.
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Loser (2000)
Jason & Mena have chemistry!
29 July 2003
This movie is probably not that well known, but it's real cute and

funny and smart. I like Mena Suvari a lot, and here she is the cutest

little "grunge goth" (as Alcott says) girl who can't afford school

unless she gets a job, and can't get a job unless she stays in the

city, and can't stay in the city because her professor-boyfriend is a

jerk. Enter Paul. He helps out and conveys the whole dorky-guy

thing really well. Noah, Adam and Chris are hilarious (the

Christian Slater Guy and the James Spader Guy) and there are

lots of funny quotes. "I would never 'hit your bitch'!" And I liked

Paul's hair before the haircut. For the record. Watch this movie, it's

way cute.
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My So-Called Life (1994–1995)
It's not red... it's Crimson Glow.
22 March 2003
No one is perfect. Not the beautiful yet brainless Jordan, not the

best-friend-in-trouble Rayanne, not the supersmart Brian, not the

seemingly-together Sharon or the also seemingly-together Patty

Chase. And not Angela. She disses friends, lies, cuts class and all

the minor things everyone does at 15. And it's no big deal, just part

of so-called life. Every character has a tie-in with every other

character in some way... they all "connect" at least once, and think

things about each other, good and bad. They are all vulnerable,

even the most confident of them. And everyone with the worst traits

also has such good traits that you can see both sides of their

story. You can see Angela's view, and Patty's view, and no matter

who you agree with, you can understand where each is coming

from. Even Patty's mother, who appears to be a complete

meddling witch, turns out to have a side that you can identify with.

And that's the important thing; not only do you have a view of the

kids' interpersonal relationships, but the adults' too, and how you

can sometimes feel 15 years old even when you are 40. It's just so

rich and layered and non-cliched, that it stands up to repeated

viewings and doesn't get dated. AMAZING show! Love it.
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Cool Low-Fi Doc with a Downhome Feel
11 February 2003
I caught this on IFC and enjoyed it thoroughly. It's so cool to take a small slice of life that a lot of people don't even know about (living in NJ, I had no clue there were such things as Fireworks Stands) and interviewing the people that run them... from the little kids to the old couple to the young mullet-haired dudes. I like learning about these things and these people I never knew existed. Folks in TX take their fireworks seriously. There's even a Fireworks Superstore. Who knew? I love the low-fi feel and the actual people and dialogue of the time and the place. It's about Americana... and it's entertaining.
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Donnie Darko (2001)
giant bunnies are not evil
1 September 2002
Donnie's not crazy. He just sees a giant rabbit that tells him to do

things. As the film moves on you begin to piece together what is really

happening here, and more than likely you'll need to do a bit of thinking

and re-thinking, viewing and re-viewing to really make it all come

together. And even then you may have questions. Movies like this are

great. Some people don't like to think too much when seeing a film, and

that's fine. This film is for those who love to figure things out.

Jake Gyllenhaal is mesmerizing. His slanted little smile, his sweet yet

cynical demeanor. I just love Donnie, he's excellent. Hard to believe

he's also The Bubble Boy. And having his real sister (who was so cool in

Cecil B. Demented) play his sis is also great. Cheeseball Supreme

Patrick Swayze plays what he should always play - a humorous parody

character - and should never make another pic where he is the Leading

Man again.

You won't figure this movie out for awhile, and that, to me, is fun. If

that's not fun to you then you might not enjoy it so much. The final

scene with the song over the various characters' "resolutions" is

haunting and sad.

Perhaps when people are doing things that seem destructive or crazy,

they are just working on a different plane. You never know................
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The Smokers (2000)
heavy irony, heavy makeup
22 June 2002
I think this movie is laden with heavyhanded irony; while a lot of it is

inexplicable, poorly edited and just plain strange, the main thing I

took away from it was that while these girls thought they were starting

a "revolution", they were only hurting themselves.

Case in point; the girls try to get back at Guy #1 by trying to force

sex on him at gunpoint. It fails, but they think it was a success. The

rest of the males in town think it's hot, and want it to happen to them.

A couple of more feeble attempts are made at controlling males at

gunpoint, but also fail miserably. Instead of realizing that they are

getting into these situations themselves, and allowing themselves to be

used by guys, they get even angrier at the men of the world.

The whole dynamic of the girls' lives seems to be that they are rich

prep-school stoners who dress flamboyantly and have rigid, antiseptic

relationships with their parents. The decor of their rooms and the decor

of the girls themselves is probably monstrously tacky on purpose; not

meant to be taken literally. It sort of shows you what's in their heads;

fluff, feathers, glitter and smoke.

In their desperate attempt to be feminist/radical/revolutionaries who

defend the honor of women everywhere, they take the completely wrong

path and wind up raped, messed up and worse. They allowed themselves to

be used, and then got furious at the men for using them. They handled

the whole thing in a childish, super-hero-wannabe way. And they paid for


I think Thora Birch looked cute in those goofy getups. Even though her

character made little or no sense. I saw her as the ultimate

rich-kid-acting-out-against-parental-control archetype. And her

now-learned sister gives her a nice life lesson
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an extremely important film
2 July 2000
This movie is extremely important, as it brings to the forefront the issue of gender confusion and transsexuality. The film paints a picture of a lovely, sweet sensitive young person that the viewer cannot help but care about. When bad things happen to this character you feel it in your heart, as well you should. There are very few things that help people understand these gender issues (Ma Vie En Rose is a great example) and anything that portrays the problems so well should be viewed by everyone, so there can be more understanding.

Hilary Swank was AMAZING and so was Chloe. Kimberly Peirce is a terrific director with a (true) story to tell, and she crafts it wonderfully. It seems that some people don;t understand that the story is true...I believe that anyone who thinks this is just a "gay story" doesn't realize that Brandon (Teena) was not a lesbian. She was a boy, in her mind and in her soul. Sometimes Mother Nature makes mistakes. And sometimes people can't see past their own ignorance to let people live the way they need to. Transgendered people need more open dialogue and more role models, in the same way that more gay issues have become common topics. Let's hope more films like this come along, but that the horror and evil is no longer based on real life.
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Braniff... believe it!
23 April 2000
So did you notice the first few bars of the opening song is the same as the little Braniff jingle heard at the end of South Park?

Cannibal! The Musical is a B-movie. It's a good B-movie. It's a really freaking funny B-movie, and definitely in the South Park vein. If someone appreciates the humor of SP, they will love C! TM. Trey is an excellent songwriter-from over-the-top B'way numbers to songs that sound like 80's power ballads-and the songs make the whole movie worthwhile, although the dialogue isn't bad either. Most cheapo movies are not directed this well. You get a sense of the bargain-basement budget, but the quality of the filmmakers' abilities shines through. I am getting a good chuckle from the few uptight Filme Critiques who slash this movie apart for being cheap and goofy. These must be the people who attend Jr. High School productions of The Music Man and sniff, "Just LOOK at those sets! What is the director THINKING?"

The humor is not necessarily highbrow but it ain't all fart jokes either. It's just really amusing, and only for the kind of people who appreciate the bizarro humor of Trey Parker. For the Goofball-Impaired we can use terms like "quirky", "offbeat" and "black comedy" to make you all feel better. But it's MUCH more disturbed than that. Call it a weirdass gorefest filled with musical hilarity. Yeah. And see it!
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watch this movie JUST FOR PLEASUUUUURE!!!
23 April 2000
There are a few 80's teen movies I enjoy, and some I enjoy very much. But this is my favorite one of all time. This movie introduced a new kind of guy to me; the really cool Everyman with an Alterna-geek bent, and I have loved John Cusack since. No matter how many times I see this movie, it's still fresh and hilarious, and John is in peak form as the Average College Guy, sprinting across the USA to get with the lovely blond fantasy girl. The plot is predictable, but this version of "boy-wants-dumb-chick-ends-up-with-smart-chick" is really witty and terrific. Daphne Zuniga is the perfect Straight (wo)Man to Gib's charming goofiness. Eventually she sees the fun in things, and he sees that not everything is a joke. Someone here said every character has quotable lines, and they are right. Consider outer space, grab a trough of spritzer and watch this movie.
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Surprising, better than I expected
13 April 2000
After reading the back of the video box about the "whirlwind romance" and the plot about Ben heading towards his wedding and meeting a "free-spirited" woman who teaches him how to have fun, I didn't have much interest in seeing it. It sounded extremely trite, and I'm not too interested in Bullock or Affleck either. I was very surprised at the sharp dialogue and humor. And even though every frame of this film looked like a jeans commercial, I *liked* the cinematography and hip, colorful locales. Of course the whole thing was totally unbelievable and the various events that occur are a bit overdone... but I liked it anyway. I am a sucker for road movies, so that was part of the appeal for me... traveling, different locations (the laundromat, the snack bar with the giant globe and the Big KMart at 2AM). I expected Ben's bride-to-be to be a crashing bore or uptight priss, so the audience would root for Sarah and Ben. But she was funny and sharp also, and you don't feel like the marriage would suck all the life out of Ben as it seemed to have for others in the film. All of the things Ben overhears about marriage sucking is pretty funny. I only post here about movies that make an impression on me, whether good or bad... and this one made an impression. I liked it. And no one is more surprised about that than me.
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Only for true fans interested in human drama.
8 April 2000
When I saw this film, a couple of women in front of us were there with about 5 little kids. They obviously thought that taking some 8 year olds to an R-rated movie about a violent sport was a good idea, and they expected 2 hours of The Rock giving comical interviews. The poster and tagline are very misleading. Rocky is in it for a short time, as are other WWF superstars that are popular today. It's a true documentary made by a longtime oldschool fan, and its release coincides with the explosive mainstream popularity of wrestling. The main focus of this film is not just behind the scenes of a wrestling match but behind the scenes of people's actual lives. You will see Terry Funk in his underwear, Jake "The Snake" interacting with his daughter (which is a very long, drawn-out sequence) Mick Foley roughhousing with his cute little kids, and his wife reacting to a particularly violent match between her husband and Rocky. Why it's "The film Vince McMahon doesn't want you to see" is beyond me. Vince and The Family do not come off badly at all in my opinion. It's very long and detailed and not recommended for children or casual fans.
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Office Space (1999)
Workplace satire sans the trite cliches!
17 March 2000
Hooray for Mike Judge! I didn't think there would be a way to make fun of "office life" without merely being a living Dilbert strip and using all of the same tired old workplace jokes. Kids in the Hall did it, and now Mike Judge has done it also. I am surprised to see Jennifer Aniston in a movie this entertaining! The use of hardcore gangsta rap as the soundtrack to the boys' underhanded deeds and violent ass-kicking of office equipment is hilarious and brilliant. Gary Cole's droning delivery and poor Milton's despondent mumbling doesn't get old... in fact it stays very funny. We all know someone who obsesses a little TOO much about their chair, or how many paper clips they have on their desk... and Milton makes you feel a bit of sad sympathy, especially when he doesn't get any cake. Peter's cronies Michael and Samir are classic software engineer guys that could work at any company, and Peter's construction-worker neighbor (Oswald!) is a refreshing change from the white-collar drones that infest his day. In the end Peter discovers this is the way to go... fresh air, hard labor and a bright orange vest in the perfect antidote to ummm... yeah... that would be great.... this movie is great, whether you're an office worker or not. It makes you think about all the millions and millions of damn cubicles out there... and all the people that fill them. How many of them feel suffocated and hopeless? If this film makes even ONE person take a day off and go fishing, it's done it's job.
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Cabin by the Lake (2000 TV Movie)
comedy?? on purpose??
1 February 2000
Warning: Spoilers
**slight spoilers but really, it doesn't matter**

Good grief, Charlie Brown. I just had to be the first to post about this one! An eerie idea and Judd's cool nostrils almost make this a nifty thriller/horror movie. Hedy Buress (whom I like from Foxfire) is the one chick who gets away from Judd's silly serial killer/B-movie screenplay writer. The creepy underwater "garden" is pretty cool (looks like a PJ Harvey video) but the rest is laughable. Mallory is terrified of water, but after she is almost drowned twice she suddenly loves to swim! She forms some sort of bizarro love/hate bond with Judd's character. But this is listed as a part-"comedy". Was this a last-minute idea, since the only comical characters are Judd's goofball agent and director? And what a campy ending! A blond, goateed Judd Nelson smirks at us in the last frame as if to say "pretty darn stupid, huh kids?" Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?
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interesting idea, but a bit tedious
30 January 2000
The first several minutes of this film we do not see anyone's face. It seems that we are not supposed to feel connected with the characters just yet. And we never see the antagonist's face, save for a few sunglasses close-ups. And that works for the film. Ace, the man being harassed, is a sad sack with no friends or family and it's quite depressing. The whole phone-call thing is interesting at first, but the film could have been about 20 minutes shorter. It gets old. Ace seems to be a bigot mostly due to the atmosphere he was brought up in, and peer pressure. Why he is seen as an all-out bigot in 1997 is a mystery to me, and I still don't get the whole black drag-queen thing. The film is worth a look, if you enjoy human storytelling and smalltown locales, which I do. It was well-directed with a lot of nifty camera shots. I will be interested in seeing Andrew Shea's other dir
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Gummo (1997)
this film makes me want to clean my house
21 January 2000
This is my second post for GUMMO, because my first one was very short. A lot of people disliked this film, and thought it had no point. And it didn't, as far as a "plot" goes, but we have seen movies before without a "plot", and some people like them and some people don't. That being said, this film is very scary and grubby and real, even though we hope it isn't. It's like KIDS in it's brutality and dirtiness. The world can be a very grimy place, full of stacked magazines, bugs crawling on walls, black bathwater and filthy children kicking dust and hurting animals. It's gross. It's quite horrifying. The words "white trash" are really overused... I mean, people used that term when describing "Roseanne". We hope that this side of America doesn't really exist, but it certainly does. We might even have neighbors like this near our home. The characters (and real people!) in this film make an impression, even when they are only shown for a short time and have a few lines (or no lines, like Bunny Boy). It's going to make you look around and wonder if you have any characteristics like those in the movie, and maybe you should straighten up the living room while you're at it. It's bizarre and I recommend it. It made me think for a long time, and that's how I know it's an important film to me.
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The Shining (1980)
has been creeping me out for 20 years
21 January 2000
I remember seeing the trailers for this film on TV when I was 14. It's been creeping me out ever since. It's a film I always have to watch when it's on TV. So here are a bunch of random thoughts about it... The big quiet halls, the grand ballroom and giant foyers so quiet it's deafening, Danny's ride up and down the corridor on the Big Wheel and the ball rolling to him as he plays alone in the middle of the carpet. I just love the way Kubrick shoots this stuff. The sudden jump-cuts to something REALLY SCARY, and then cut CLOSER and then cut away. What's that guy in the dog/bear suit DOING, exactly? The score is heartpounding. I agree with whomever said that the manifestation of the ghosts freeing Jack from the pantry is not keeping with the rest of the story and may ruin it a little bit. You don't trust Jack right from the beginning... he's just a bad, bad man, and you feel it from the first frame. The twins, of course, are insanely scary. Grady's (remember him from Clockwork??) hacked-up wife in the tub. It's been my favorite horror film of all time for many years, only eclipsed now by The Blair Witch Project, which scared me so much I slept with the lights on for over a month. I recommend The Shining 100%. It's just a sinking, slipping feeling into insanity and then heartpounding tension and horror laced with the creepiest most ghoulish images you will ever see on film. Seriously.
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quite beautiful for it's time
21 January 2000
In 1968 I would have been enthralled by the visuals of this film. I still was, but to be honest I was bored with the sheer length of the silent space sequences. I understand the point of it, and the end sequence in the "hotel room" was creepy and pure Kubrick. Big ornate rooms, panning camera shots, slow pullbacks. I like that. And the whole theme of the film is cool... the question of the origin of man, the star-child, the bizarre black kiosk. The silence was interesting and useful in many parts. I can see why this is a classic film, but I guess being from the information generation I was a bit antsy when it came to the 15-minute long floating scenes. And the Dawn of Man sequence also seemed a bit too long. All in all, Kubrick is one of my favorite directors and even though this isn't my favorite film of his, I can certainly see why 2001 has been given the merit that it has.
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The Cruise (1998)
relentlessly pretentious
29 November 1999
I loved the idea of this film! I love New York and stories about the creative and eccentric people that live there. But from the opening scene I knew that his nasal whine would irritate me, and it did. I made it through this movie even though I was tempted to turn it off a few times. There were several moments that were amusing and artistic (several comments on the tour bus; spinning in between the Twin Towers), but overall I found it to be annoying and pretentious. I guess I am getting bored with unambitious schlubs whining about the world and how much it sucks. It just seems trite to me at this point. There is a difference between living in a rebellious state, and TALKING endlessly about it like you are the most important person in the universe. And the guy in this film seemed like the latter to me. Many of his monologues were just ridiculous, and I did not care about his point of view at all. I more enjoyed watching the people around him, than him.
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SLC Punk! (1998)
deep, moving, fun
29 November 1999
Matthew Lillard - what a surprise! I have always found him to be annoying, but in this film he was likeable and quite clever. "Stevo" is the blue-haired punk son of silly, over-hippified parents who went from mohawk to a more low-key look after graduation. He is obviously not stupid. He uses his audience-addressing monologues to amuse us and let us know exactly what's up, instead of merely whining at us or grinning and nudging us with his elbow. The kid is downright charming. And I appreciate the fact that he actually gets along with his parents, even while fighting against what they want. It's refreshing. I am in his age group (in the movie - 80's teenager) but I am not familiar with punk lifestyle, and now I feel like I have been exposed to something I've always found interesting, but never delved into before. Stevo goes through a bunch of changes and realizations, and by the end decides that you can "F--k stuff up more from within the system that outside it". And that being rebellious comes from inside, and not from your haircolor (even though blue hair is still cool). Great message, neat movie. Recommended.
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Foxfire (1996)
a girl's world should be her own
14 November 1999
Not a perfect film, but I got a great feeling from it. I love movies about girls together, being strong and being friends. Not being intimidated and even laughing when the football team shows up to threaten them. Some of the things they did were not ideal, but they were kids, and they made mistakes. Legs was a cool character, and she meant well even when she was acting nuts. But it showed girls sticking together in the face of a "man's" world, the boys visiting their house in the woods, the boys attacking them and the girls commandeering the truck... dancing in the house, driving fast and music blaring... when girls are together, laughing and feeling great in their own skin, nothing else in the world matters, and no opression can hold them. That's the feeling I got from this film.
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You'll Laugh and Cry at This Feel-Good Wake Up Call!
20 October 1999
Private Lessons II is a brilliant piece of moviemaking! It's complex and it makes you think, like Eraserhead. It's uplifting and restores your faith in humankind, like It's a Wonderful Life. It exploits teenage stereotypes, like Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And it's Japanese, like Godzilla vs. Mothra.

The mystery of this film is what keeps me watching it again and again. Like, is it in Japan or America? The main character, Ken, is clearly Japanese. But his classmates are American-looking, and so is his teacher. But his best friend is Japanese. And they speak Japanese, but sometimes they speak English, which is dubbed over in English anyway. The result is unsettling and confusing. They show Ken's grandmother briefly, and then she disappears for the rest of the film. The American woman is hired by Ken's teacher to have sex with him, but she is surprised that Ken actually had sex. They all laugh at the most unfunny things I have ever seen. And Ken has really great hair.

I recommend picking up the soundtrack if you can find it, if only for the song, "Destination", which totally rocks. >2!
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