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Outnumbered (2014– )
The latest disgusting right-wing propaganda show from FOX News
16 March 2015
Here's another right-wing propaganda show, designed to show how women & minorities support Repbulicans too! Four loyal Republican women, such as MTV celebs Lisa "Kennedy" Montgomery or Rachel Campos-Duffy (star of "The Real World"/"Road Rules"), or African-American FOX News friends like Stacey Dash or Harris Faulkner, talk about whatever issues FOX News can find to stir up the Republican base, while 1 male buffoon like Geraldo sits in the middle. Naturally, everything is Obama's fault. Christians are always oppressed. Children are being corrupted by evil Democrats! It's the same old garbage you expect from FOX News, but from females so that you know women support the GOP too! They even found the 2 black women who are Republicans - it's little surprise that Harris Faulkner has appeared in the most episodes. I can't even recommend watching this for laughs, because it will either make you angry or just sad.
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A Wind Named Amnesia (1990 Video)
Good, but lacking due to time issues
3 April 2010
Great concept for a film, this really makes you think. What if you lost your memory of everything you've known since you were a baby? What if everyone did? This is a good movie, but it should have been developed more and spread out into 2 or even 3 parts. There is lots of room for further story and character development, but by the time that starts to happen, the story is over. The ending is also left open, and doesn't really resolve very much. I understand that the makers have to work within time and budget constraints, but with some more work this could have been a great 2-parter rather than just a good movie. The art is good, but not phenomenal for 1993.
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Legacy (I) (1998)
100% RDA of Hasselhoff
27 August 2004
This movie isn't *that* bad. Sure Hasselhoff cheeses up every scene, heck all the dialogue for all the actors is cheesy, but otherwise it is just standard direct-to-video fare. Oh, and was Rod Steiger desperate for cash or what? It just shows that you need to treat your agent with respect, folks. Otherwise they will get back at you by putting you in stuff like this. Regulate your Hasselhoff intake to small doses and you should be OK. Still, approach this film with the caution warranted when someone tells you it "isn't *that* bad".
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Unbreakable (2000)
Flawed but not broken
14 August 2004
I can't believe the extreme views I've read in the commentaries of this film. It appears that people truly do love it or hate it. I'm not so extreme. This is the only Shyamalan movie (except for "The Buried Secret of...") that I have seen, so I can judge the film without comparing it to his other work. There were a few times during the movie where I said something was ridiculous, or wondered why Night decided to do something in a certain way. So this movie is hardly perfect in my book. But you know what? In the end, I liked it. It kept me entertained and interested in what would happen next. And the so-called "twist" is not that much of a twist. It is just a satisfying and logical ending to a Bruce Willis movie (something other directors seem to have a hard time doing). I rate this 7/10 - good, but not great, and not terrible.
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Quintuplets (2004–2005)
One of the worst TV shows I've had the misfortune to witness
28 July 2004
Poor Andy Richter. He had a great gig on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Then he left and started doing films. He got his own TV series - "Any Richter Controls the Universe" - which was a pretty good show, and like all good TV shows, got cancelled. Now, he ends up with THIS. This is one of the most insipid little programs ever to hit the airwaves. It is all that is bad about cheesy sitcoms, and worse. However, unlike (for example) "Here's My Bush", this isn't a spoof. Nope, this is just raw badness served up to the masses. All I can say is, avoid this unless you like constant lame jokes accompanied by a laugh track. Even Andy knows this show sucks, but hey he has to pay the bills.
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Entertaining in a MST3K sort of way
20 July 2004
Good in concept, poor in execution, "The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan" was plagued by terrible acting, amateurish directing, and the easy comparison to "The Blair Witch Project" which did a similar type of promo on the Sci-Fi network. The 3-hour (!!) "mockumentary" was nothing more than a giant infomercial for Shyamalan's body of work and his new movie "The Village". The worst part of the film was the acting. The old woman who supposedly knew Night as a child came off like one of those old ladies you see in commercials trying to sell you life insurance. The real estate agent overacted so badly that I can't believe she wasn't recast. The believability factor of the script was also quite low. Why would the director talk to a pizza guy about M. Night Shyamalan? Why would anyone care if Johnny Depp was considered for the lead in "Signs"? If electrical equipment strangely stops working around Shyamalan, how does he work around all that equipment on a movie set? I could go on, but you get the idea. Perhaps if this movie was shorter and perhaps if the acting and script were better, this could have been a decent "horror" film along the lines of a "Twilight Zone" episode. As it turned out, it was about as scary as "Manos, the Hands of Fate".
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The Brothers Grunt (1994–1995)
Bad, even for MTV
13 June 2004
For the last few years, I had been trying to recall the name of this show. I asked everyone. Over the years I have annoyed complete strangers by trying to describe this stupid show and ask them if they knew the name of it. Most people think I am either delusional or making it up! At last, a certain website (about shows that jump the shark) answered by question! I can finally show everyone with this IMDB link that this show truly existed! Anyways, regarding the show - it was awful. Originally a "bumper" promo for MTV where one of the brothers is on the toilet, and then an "MTV" logo is shown floating, some genius at MTV decided it would be worthy of a half-hour show. It wasn't funny, it wasn't cool. It was made even worse by the horrible video segments. Unlike Beavis and Butthead's video segments, which were made better by their funny comments, the video segments in this show had no comments. It was unbelievably bad. If you are ever confronted by the opportunity to view this material... just make sure you aren't paying for it.
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Not very good
27 October 2003
Bottom line, this movie is not funny. The story is satisfactory enough, but I didn't laugh once during this film. There are plenty of gross-out gags just like in "Something About Mary" and "Kingpin", but in this film they seem just thrown in for no reason. And Heather Graham does a terrible acting job like she does in most movies. This isn't even a "so bad it's good", it is just boring. Avoid.
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The Evil Dead (1981)
Better than expected
17 May 2003
I didn't expect much going into this film, but being a fan of Bruce Campbell, I had to finally check it out. It is certainly not the 'masterpiece' that the "Cult of Bruce" touts it to be, but still I was impressed. This really is more than just a "kids-in-the-woods-slash-em-up"; if you pay attention you can see some clever writing. We see a budding Sam Raimi becoming a true artist at his craft. We see a young Bruce Campbell in his first big acting "gig". I was even impressed with the other never-heard-from-again actors. I expected hammy performances all around, but it wasn't that bad at all. Considering the pathetic budget and constraints they had to work with, this is a very watchable piece of work. A bit too much gore for my liking, but nevertheless I would recommend this to any fan of Raimi, Campbell, independent films, or the horror genre in general. 8/10 for fans, 6/10 for non-fans
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When a Stranger Calls Back (1993 TV Movie)
Dumbest ending ever.
4 March 2003
Ok, the beginning of this movie was pretty good. The middle part had potential, but was greatly lacking. The end was completely absurd. If you like your horror movies to come with laughs, then this is a good movie for you. If, however, you are seeking any plausibility, avoid this movie at all costs. Rating: 8 for the beginning, 6 for the middle, and 1 for the ending. Which averages out to a 5 for the whole film. Recommended only for fans of the first one.
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Solar Crisis (1990)
Smithee strikes again
27 December 2002
Disowned by Richard C. Sarafian, this disaster stunk up Japanese theaters before coming to the States and going immediately to video, where it was not seen again until the Turner networks needed something other than infomercials to fill their 3am-6am time slots and found this tape at the bottom of their bin. The Smithee name is supposed to be used when the studio hacks the movie so badly that the director no longer wants his name attached to it. But I'm afraid that Sarafian can not blame the studio entirely on this one. The actors, mostly recent graduates of "Overacting 101", deliver one cornball line after another. The plot is convoluted. The special effects are unimpressive. The parts that aren't laughable are just plain boring. The script or the book must have been good - why else would Palance, Matheson, Boyle, or Heston agree to appear in this dud? But something went horribly wrong from the page to the screen. Summary: Avoid. Not even bad enough to be so-bad-it's-good.
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Octopus (2000 Video)
Standard Nu Image junk
7 December 2002
From the studios of Nu Image, the company that will make a movie out of any script, as long as it's completely awful, comes another low-budget flop, "Octopus". Now, with this title you would think that the octopus would get a prominent place in the plot, or at least more screen time than the extras. Not so. You will only see the octopus in its full glory towards the very end of the film (if you can stay awake that long). The rest of the time, you only see a tentacle here and there, and maybe a cast member will mention, "Hey there's an octopus after us". But for the most part, the main characters spend all their time fighting bad guys and a leaky hull. I wasn't expecting much with this movie, but I thought it might be bad enough to laugh at. It wasn't even worth that. I give it a 2 out of 10 only because the effects weren't that bad, and for a budget this low, that's kind of impressive.
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See Jane Run (1995 TV Movie)
Weak but watchable
27 October 2002
Standard Lifetime anti-man movie with standard amnesia-victim plot. The man of course is portrayed as a diabolically evil mastermind who the women must unite against to defeat. I suppose this is meant to be inspiring to women, but it just doesn't make for a realistic film. The amnesia angle is supposed to make you expect plot twists and turns, but everything that happens is predictable. Lots of eye-rolling. All of the actors & actresses are good, but this vehicle wastes their skills. This isn't a *bad* movie, but I certainly wouldn't call it *good* either. I watched it at 3am and all I can say is that it was better than watching infomercials.
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Halloween 5 (1989)
27 October 2002
Obnoxious teens get slashed and stupid cops get wasted by a new Michael Myers in a dumb-looking mask. I lost track of the plot, if there was one, about halfway through the film. All I know is that Michael is running around killing people and his niece can see who the next victim will be. Oh, and Donald Pleasence is still overacting and running around like a goofball. The ending makes no sense, but you won't care because you will just be happy it's over. Complete waste of film and time, except for the little girl (Danielle Harris) who is great.
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Myers on the sidelines in a cast
27 October 2002
Wow, what an awful movie. This one has it all - lame production standards, idiotic plot, bad acting, an incredibly annoying theme song, and a strobing pumpkin image that will give you a seizure. How this managed to escape the MST3K treatment, I'll never know. Many will lambast this movie for not having Michael Myers. But trust me, that doesn't matter; nothing could save this dreck. Nobody should watch this movie, ever. Nevertheless, people will still continue to show and rent this film simply because it has the name "Halloween" on it. But don't blame me, I warned you.

Rating: abysmal; causes great pain; massive IQ loss will occur
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Malice (1993)
Suspend your disbelief...
4 August 2002
Some things in this movie are a bit unbelievable, which is the reason I only gave it a 7. However, it is entertaining and worth the rental. Alec Baldwin is perfect as the narcissistic, pretentious jerk. Look for Gwenyth Paltrow in one of her first film appearances.
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Lacking momentum
27 May 2002
Howling IV starts out decent enough, but by the end of the film it degrades to something less than average. The main problem with this movie is its very slow pace. Those looking for action-packed werewolf sequences will not find it here. In fact, you don't even see a werewolf until almost the end of the movie. This could have been excusable, if there was enough suspense to make the viewer want to keep watching until the end. Unfortunately, the audience's suspense is replaced with impatience. I kept looking at the clock, wondering when a werewolf would actually show up. When the werewolves finally do make their grand entrance, it is disappointing. They consist of: A) dogs with red eyes and B) actors in cheesy masks. And the transformation sequence of a human into a werewolf - something the original Howling was famous for - is bizarre and goofy in this movie. Recommendation: see it for free on TV if nothing else is on, but don't bother renting.
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China O'Brien (1990)
So bad it's good
29 April 2002
I actually saw China O'Brien II before I ever saw the original China O'Brien. And I have to say that the first incarnation is actually worse. But: worse = funnier! And funnier = better. If you're a bad movie fan like I am, this is great material. If, however, you are looking for any sort of meaningful plot, acting ability, or movie-making skill, this is best avoided. The best part is how they filmed all the fighting sequences in stuttering fast-forward. Hilariously bad. See it for a laugh, see it for mindless entertainment, but whatever you do, see it for free on TV.
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Red Dawn (1984)
Dumb movie
20 April 2002
Completely ridiculous movie about a small band of Hollywood stars oops I mean rebels who resist the Soviet invasion of America. Now, if this had been a Dolph Lundgren or Chuck Norris flick, I would have known what to expect, and probably would have enjoyed this brainless entertainment. There's nothing COMPLETELY wrong with lots of gun battles and explosions, right? But this movie tries to pretend to be something it is not. It tries to be some sort of serious film full of emotions and philosophy and stuff. Charlie Sheen had practically an identical role in "Hot Shots, part deux", but at least there he knew it was a comedy. Most of this cast probably wishes that every copy of this movie would be thrown into the ocean. I guess the "red" in the title is the color of their faces after appearing in this embarrassment of a movie, and "dawn" is when it dawned on them how awful it was. Avoid, unless it is being shown at 3am and there is nothing else on TV.
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27 March 2002
Inane, ridiculous, boring, stupid, hilariously bad. This movie is all these things and more. "Leonard: Part 6" was Oscar-worthy compared to this. I feel fairly confident that I could have come up with a better movie by having no script at all and just telling the actors to improvise their lines. At least Bette Davis had the sense to realize how beneath her this movie was. The thing is, this movie is beneath the acting skills of most of the people in it. Including the cat.
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One of the worst things I've ever witnessed
3 March 2002

This was so awful I just don't know what to say.

I'm amazed that anyone involved with this actually used their real names. I know it's tough to be a struggling actor but man, what were they thinking?

I don't even want to think about the fact that someone "wrote" this.

I'm going to stay away from the TV for a few days now.
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Fear Factor (I) (2001– )
The worst
17 February 2002
I have had the misfortune of watching this show at my friend's house. Believe me, I would never have it playing on any TV set I control. Very few of the challenges have to do with fear. Most of them involve physical stunts (like holding your breath under water), eating something disgusting (like sheep testicles), or torturing/killing some innocent animals for the audience's amusement (being buried in bugs). Yes television has degraded to the point of airing a show with the intellect of 5 year-olds. Little children dare each other to do disgusting things. The stupidest child will do it. Just like that kid in school who used to eat paste. Everyone associated with garbage like this show should be ashamed. Hooray for cable!
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Saturday Night Live (1975– )
It sucks now! It's great again!
1 February 2002
Every once in awhile I read reviews of SNL. Almost never do the reviews say "it was OK". Unless it is a review by a frequent viewer, they always say something like "SNL is great again!" or "SNL sucks now". Usually these reviews are from people who never or rarely watch the show, and only remember it from 5, 10, 15 or even 20 years ago. These types of reviews have been the same for as long as I can remember. The periods that people now call "classic" frequently met with poor reviews at the time.

One thing to remember is that the show is an hour and a half, longer than most any other TV show. It is hard to fill such a long show with consistently funny material. It is also hard to make every episode funny. Therefore the show (like most shows) wavers between great and awful, depending on the sketch or episode you are watching at the moment. To judge an entire series on one episode (or part of one) is a mischaracterization.

I've watched SNL for most of its life, and although it has ranged from hilarious to horrible, I would say the average show is "pretty funny". The bottom line: there's nothing better to watch on Saturday night, so until there is, I will always watch SNL!
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Stop the Music. Please. Seriously.
30 December 2001
Wow. Words just don't do this movie justice. It's like a bunch of other movies exploded and landed on your TV screen. This movie is so bad, they could make a movie about this movie. I mean this will really blow your mind. But whatever you do, don't spend money on it. It seems pretty obvious that everyone involved knew that they were making a bad movie... too bad nobody remembered to tell Bruce Jenner.
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Silent Hill 2 (2001 Video Game)
Creepiest video game I've ever played
15 December 2001
Wow. If there's one video game out there deserving of the "M - Mature" rating, this is it. This game is creepy, disturbing, insane. The designers of this game really accomplished what they set out to do - scare you!! You have been warned.

This game was way better than the first "Silent Hill". The graphics are sharper, the atmosphere is creepier, and the puzzles are better. I have only one complaint, I wish the game would have been longer. But you can play it over again, and try to get all of the 5 possible endings - if you've got the guts! But whatever you do, don't play this with the lights off!
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