Fire and Ice

Johnny Lawrence: There's a lot of talk going around the Valley about free karate. But everyone knows that in life, you get what you pay for. You wanna really kick the competition?

[Johnny kicks a bonsai tree into pieces]

Johnny Lawrence: Then you need to get your ass over to Cobra Kai. Screw that lame meditation bullshit. What you need is bone-crunching, face-smashing, good ol' American karate.

[Johnny punches and elbows a body opponent bag]

Johnny Lawrence: Enough about self-defense. Learn self-offense. Don't be a pussy. Join Cobra Kai, and let me teach you the way of the fist.

Aisha: And cut.

Johnny Lawrence: All right, did we get it?

Aisha: I think so.

Johnny Lawrence: All right, great. Just make sure the Cobra Kai snake comes in at the end, all right? I want it to really pop. Make it chrome. And throw "Thunderstruck" under it.

Aisha: I'm pretty sure the rights for that song will cost too much.

Johnny Lawrence: No, I already own it. Cassette's in the car. Oh, and put one of those hash browns at the end. You know, like, "Hash brown. Team Cobra Kai," or something. And then send it to the Internet!