Crystal: My Mamma used to tell me this story about the jackrabbit and the box turtle. The jackrabbit is real dick, and he brags all the time, he says nobody's faster'n him. And well, it's true cause every time, the jackrabbit races, he always wins. The whole fuckin forest has to put up with this shit day in and day out. The fucker always wants to race just so he can rub in it some more. So the box turtle figures, 'why not? I'll give it a try'. The jackrabbit laughs, 'This'll be fun, so let's fuckin go.' The jackrabbit leaves the box turtle in the fuckin dust cause he's way out in front. The jackrabbit always wins. But the jackrabbit wants to put on a show, so he stops to make it seem close, and takes a nap. But he sleeps longer than he wanted to. By the time he wakes up, I mean he knows he's fucked and the jackrabbit goes full tilt, but it's too late and the box turtle crosses the finish line first and the crowd, whoosh, goes fuckin wild. Later that night the box turtle's havin dinner with his family. He's tellin his little box turtles how he did it. 'I mean, you never give up. I just kept crawlin' forwards, and you can overcome just about anything.'
[pause]
Crystal: The door smashes in. It's the jackrabbit, and he has a hammer. He smashes up the wife an kids first so the box turtle has to watch em die. And then it's his turn. Once the whole family is broken into little pieces, he sits down and eats their dinner, every last bite... cause the jackrabbit always wins.
Don: Your Mamma told you that story?
