Credited cast: | |||
Kate Davies-Speak | ... | Kat | |
![]() |
Mark McKirdy | ... | Mark |
Makenna Guyler | ... | Jade | |
Natalie Martins | ... | Sophie | |
![]() |
Matt Swales | ... | Ben |
Kane Surry | ... | Ricky | |
![]() |
Emma Spurgin Hussey | ... | Rosemary |
![]() |
Tim Cartwright | ... | Albert |
Carl Andersson | ... | Blade | |
David Lenik | ... | Simon | |
![]() |
Barrington De La Roche | ... | Elderly Man |
Rest of cast listed alphabetically: | |||
![]() |
Sam Lane | ... | Razor |
![]() |
Harrison Nash | ... | Max |
Four fellas take a barge n explore the canals in the rural side. Unknown to them that tons of toxic waste and hazardous chemicals have been dumped in the water by multinational companies which has caused genetic mutations among some people who have resorted to cannibalism. Written by Fella_shibby@yahoo.com
Acting and cinematography are passable, but once the creatures appear it's all downhill from there. The barge people are literally just wearing rubber masks and it's VERY noticeable. One of them even has eye holes that aren't quite the right size and you can see a bit of their face underneath. It looks awful. These are the cheap Halloween kind of rubber masks too where the mouths don't really function, which again, is very noticeable, especially when you can easily see that when the barge people are supposed to be eating people, they're actually clearly just rubbing their mouth against them. Again, looks awful.
Other effects like gore/death scenes are equally embarrassing. The creatures shoot geyers of water out instead of blood, which is already silly, but there was one part where two characters are hitting one of the creatures with frying pans and it inexplicably made water blood shoot out in spray bursts as if they were being stabbed? They're hitting it in the back with frying pans, one of them using stabbing motions for some reason, and it's wearing a thick rain coat, and somehow that fills them with holes and makes water shoot out? This is not a comedy movie either, so I really don't know what they were thinking with scenes like that. It's just terrible.
Big mistake to make these things talk too. They're supposed to be rabid mutant cannibals, and yet they can apparently speak English well enough to spout awful cliched comic book villain one-liners (through a very cheap sounding voice filter). It's supposed to be sinister, but it's just laughable.
They clearly had no idea what to actually do in terms of story once the creatures showed up either. Characters just ramble and pointlessly repeat themselves to fill up the run time.
Overall just a big waste of time. Clearly someone was looking to cash in with as little effort as possible here. I've seen worse, but The Barge People is pretty far down there near the bottom of the barrel. 2/10.