5.4/10
388
10 user 1 critic

Two Tails (2018)

After becoming best friends, a beaver and a cat embark on a dangerous mission to rescue their friends who were abducted by aliens.

Director:

Victor Azeev
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Storyline

After becoming best friends, a beaver and a cat embark on a dangerous mission to rescue their friends who were abducted by aliens.

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Country:

Russia

Language:

English

Release Date:

31 May 2018 (Russia) See more »

Also Known As:

Animales en apuros See more »

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Color
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User Reviews

Stunning Disaster
30 September 2018 | by JaffeSee all my reviews

As a public service I'll review this movie. Well, it can't really be called a movie, as it lacks the editing needed to make it a full teleplay. Unfortunately, I lack the writing skills to properly convey exactly how great of a disaster this was. If you're unfortunate enough to view it, you will understand (yet feel duped for having watched it). If you take heed and do not watch it, you will have missed nothing.

Two Tails is a movie that is actually showing in theaters for some reason. The piece lacks a central character, and some of the causes/effects in its plot are shockingly flawed or contradictory. Throughout, the piece relies heavily on an unending stream of physical comedy (i.e. stumbling, bumbling & fumbling) to lengthen the scenes, and that becomes truly tiresome after thirty seconds and will not elicit laughter or bemusement from any viewer for the duration. The dynamic between the characters is both mystifying and illogically explained. The ending is simply when there is nothing else left to put on the screen.

I've seen hundreds of films and yet, while there were many I've disliked and others I did not complete, this sorry excuse for a film stands out as the greatest epic failure to ever be distributed.

One thing that can be taken from watching this is the new meaning it gives to foreign hacking. There exists no world in which this should have a rating that reaches thirty percent of a perfect score. Someone, somewhere, has made a successful bid to pull one over on one of the most respected catalogues of film available on the Internet and stands testament to what can be achieved via hundreds of "fake accounts" belonging to "registered users."


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