After returning from his previous adventure, young Howard Lovecraft must lead an expedition including his father, Winfield, Uncle Randolph, and Miskatonic Universitys Dr. Henry Armitage to Antarctica, to prevent the awakening of Cthulhu!
After conquering R'yleh and the Frozen Kingdom young Howard Lovecraft must now travel to the Undersea Kingdom in order to free his captured family, protect three mysterious magical books, and prevent the impending wrath of Cthulhu.
Sean Patrick O'Reilly
As a public service I'll review this movie. Well, it can't really be called a movie, as it lacks the editing needed to make it a full teleplay. Unfortunately, I lack the writing skills to properly convey exactly how great of a disaster this was. If you're unfortunate enough to view it, you will understand (yet feel duped for having watched it). If you take heed and do not watch it, you will have missed nothing.
Two Tails is a movie that is actually showing in theaters for some reason. The piece lacks a central character, and some of the causes/effects in its plot are shockingly flawed or contradictory. Throughout, the piece relies heavily on an unending stream of physical comedy (i.e. stumbling, bumbling & fumbling) to lengthen the scenes, and that becomes truly tiresome after thirty seconds and will not elicit laughter or bemusement from any viewer for the duration. The dynamic between the characters is both mystifying and illogically explained. The ending is simply when there is nothing else left to put on the screen.
I've seen hundreds of films and yet, while there were many I've disliked and others I did not complete, this sorry excuse for a film stands out as the greatest epic failure to ever be distributed.
One thing that can be taken from watching this is the new meaning it gives to foreign hacking. There exists no world in which this should have a rating that reaches thirty percent of a perfect score. Someone, somewhere, has made a successful bid to pull one over on one of the most respected catalogues of film available on the Internet and stands testament to what can be achieved via hundreds of "fake accounts" belonging to "registered users."
7 of 8 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?
| Report this