Gaga: Five Foot Two (2017)
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"What I AM impressed with is how Gaga manages to talk about herself for the entire 2 hour duration, yet by the and of it you have learned absolutely nothing about her other than a vague fact about breaking her hip 3 years ago and that she's reinventing herself since she's decided the world is tired of seeing her being so glamorous. Seriously."
This is 100% correct. Even when she's talking about how her 'best friend' is dying, her commentary is basically "Everyone keeps leaving me!" instead of "I feel so bad for my friend" or "I wonder how my friend's family is feeling" or even "I can't imagine how she must feel."
(And afterwards I looked it up, and discovered that Gaga's 'eulogy' when her friend ultimately died was basically "When she died she took all the memories of my early career with her - poor me!")
I guess you have to be pretty narcissistic and self-absorbed in order to be a pop megastar (otherwise how on earth would you have the drive or courage to get on a stage in front of 50,000 people?) but usually we can forgive this because the person is An Artist. The Gaga we see here isn't much of an artist: Her songs aren't musically or lyrically ground-breaking; she's not making some kind of political or social point or changing the world; her stage production is about the same as everyone else's (P!nk's Grammy performance was every bit as good - or better - than Gaga's much-hyped Superbowl show, for example).
It was also staggering to see the record and production company people nodding and smiling at Gaga's ideas ("I need to do something different, you know?") as though they were pearls of wisdom, even though every junior marketing assistant could tell you that pop stars need to do 'something different' with each new album. These weren't exactly Deep Thoughts.
This didn't make me hate Gaga - it just left me feeling that she was sort of all-around average and kind of boring. Which I think is probably worse.
If this were a parody, I'd be more forgiving because at least there was an attempt at humour but sadly, this "documentary" is just a long winded commercial for her album and "brand".
What I AM impressed with is how Gaga manages to talk about herself for the entire 2 hour duration, yet by the and of it you have learnt absolutely nothing about her other than a vague fact about breaking her hip 3 years ago and that she's reinventing herself since she's decided the world is tired of seeing her being so glamorous. Seriously.
It becomes obvious very early on in the film that what we are witnessing is nothing more than home footage created by a narcissistic, self indulgent grub who is desperate to remain "current".
Gaga is unable to hold conversations with other people. She simply talks AT people. There was one particular part of the movie however, that Gaga appeared to be genuinely able to think about someone other than herself. She shares some insight into her album's title, Joanne, named after her Aunt Joanne who had passed on before her time having contracted Lupus. She shares the sad, heart wretching story of her Aunt and her incredible sufferings, which involved having her hands amputated and then death. But even in this moment, she is unable to grasp someone else's pain and misery and instead, strangely proclaims "THAT'S ME, I AM HER. I AM JOANNE" ..wow.
As if that wasn't enough, Gaga then tries to milk tears out of her dear old Granny by taking the cameras to her house and playing her a song she's written about Joanne. Its at this point in the movie that it becomes all too clear how low Gaga will go to seem "profound" and "deep" to us mere mortals watching. Holding an iphone to her Granny's face, Gaga kneels in front of her almost begging her to weep.its incredibility distasteful and hard to watch. But luckily, Granny doesn't take the bait (much to the frustration of Gaga) and reminds her that Joanne's passing occurred over 40 years ago. In a last ditch effort to capture some "feels" for the documentary, the camera focuses on Gaga's father, sitting in the background. Still no reaction. Eventually, Dad walks out the room and we are made to think its because he is being stoic, but its more likely he is just tired of seeing his daughter exploit his dead sister's name.
Did I mention that Gaga broke her hip? Well, she did. And she'll remind you about it several dozen times yet strangely never offers any Insight into the incident. We are never told how it happened or what the actual problem is now, only that "it really hurts". I get the feeling its just thrown out there to justify why she is constantly being massaged for hours at a time while watching TV and talking about how much weed she smokes.
In another wishy washy conversation, Gaga's creative team attempt to sit down with her to gain some direction from her but again, there questions are met with vague, stoner-like responses. When they push her to be more specific, she tells them not to worry and takes off her shirt instead. There she sits with her nips out for no reason other than to seem interesting for the camera and to throw up a distraction to avoid having to converse with another human in a normal, adult fashion.
Just when you think this crap can't possibly get any worse, Gaga hits the local Walmart to show how 'not glamorous' she is these days. Dressed in a bra and handkerchief, I felt scared for the Walmart employees when Gaga discovered her album hadn't been displayed to her satisfaction. It was a laugh out loud moment for all the wrong reasons. I had to watch it through my fingers. Honestly, more horrific than the IT movie.
For anyone that has dealt with someone with an overwhelming interest in themselves, you'll recognise the theme of "I'm a victim, poor me. Poor me" throughout this documentary. She is a walking contradiction and wants so badly for you to know that she is REALLY INTERESTINGLY! It oozes of insecurities.
When Florence Welch asks her how she can post to 18 million people so flippantly, Gaga is confused. Florence explains how if she were in that situation, she would feel so scared (recognizing the importance and responsibility of having access to such a wide audience) yet Gaga remains stunned and offers no response, again proving she is incapable of understanding anything from another's point of view.
If you can't see this for what it really is, you need to dig deeper within yourself instead of looking to these soulless psychos.
How can you judge someone's personality on this material? I know she just compared making music with having open heart surgery,(??) and she does seem to be oblivious to other people - but maybe it was just an attempt to get enough material about her, so that she could finish the damn documentary. She didn't seem into it at all.
The intense music, the artsy slow-motion camera, Gaga being massaged, Gaga with her family, Gaga feeding her dogs; it seems as if though every single person on the crew tried their very best to suggest something deep, but it all amounts to nothing. It is probably the most forced documentary I have ever seen.
Early on, Gaga complains about sexism in the industry, and how she's forced to always be sexualized; and that, in order to not go crazy, she'd always manage to "twist" things just a bit - add an obscure element on her shows, like blood - in order to feel like she was in control. Did she not feel in control when she made this documentary? Because all you get from her, is a few blanket statements, repeated over and over again with different choices of words. Yes, you'll get to see her exhibit authentic state fright, and you'll see her in physical pain, but most of all, you will see her talking about deep stuff in a shallow way, or watch her dance around in skimpy Instagram outfits, with brows to match.
Maybe she really does have nothing else to offer - I have seen people's brains and empathy slowly melt away before, simply because they couldn't smoke weed in moderation. And everyone knows what fame does to one's sense of self. But maybe Gaga just didn't feel like giving what it takes for a documentary like this to be good. Maybe she thought that if she just talked about women's issues in front of her stoned friends - who are either bad actors, bad friends, or simply hated how staged it was - and maybe if she had enough conversations about nothing,(but they all end with a hug!) it would come across as if she actually let us in close.
Well, she didn't. It just comes across as a failed experiment.
She can obviously play the piano, but a lot of the featured songs seemed to come from her producer and musicians. Besides that nothing she played really made me feel. Every time Amy Winehouse sang in her documentary my friends and I always seemed to involuntarily stop talking and listen, all nodding are heads to whatever she was saying. During "Five Foot Two", however, it seemed like we kept making jokes about what we were seeing. I think a big part of my problem with it was that I never felt for her because she already feels only for herself, and therefore I never cared about her music. At least now I know this is someone I don't care to know much at all.
I knew that she wears elaborate costumes that sometimes make her look equal parts regal and ridiculous and that she has a gorgeous singing voice. I did not even know that she is an American (from New York City) and an earthy person in her private life. The first scene in this movie shows her as she looks when she gets out of bed and feeds her dogs. She is more how I would have imagined that her personal assistant might look.
Basically, a camera crew follows her around for possibly longer than we know. It is a good thing not to feel as if we are with her in real time because this doc may have followed her for many months.
The word exhibitionist might be a bit strong, but little of Gaga's anatomy is left to the viewer's imagination. We also meet the inner Lady Gaga (nee Stefani Germanotta) learning that she is affectionate with her friends, generous with her fans, and lonely at the end of every day. She is often insecure and is perhaps something of a snowflake. Her combination of provocativeness yet wariness about men is not explained, but is presented as is.
Gaga is conscious that she has turned thirty. The fact that her latest boyfriend has not worked out is only part of her misery. We learn that Gaga has an old pain in her hip that contributes to her worries. Keeping up with her backup dancers requires frequent sessions with physical therapists. She would like to have children, but she anticipates that her hip could make that prohibitively painful.
In one scene, her mother (?) suggests that she not be maudlin. It is a suggestion made in kindness, but might profitably be taken in a firmer sense. The heart of the movie – if there is a plot to this slice of life – is that Gaga is putting together an album (ultimately a successful one) dedicated to her aunt Joanne who died at age 19. This is not difficult to understand. Joanne was a promising writer and artist. Gaga clearly identifies with her almost as if she herself had died at a younger age. (Joanne is one of Gaga's middle names, I have since learned.)
For technical reasons, we do not get to see much of her concerts. This is not a filmed concert. We get to hear her sing, but not enough. The movie cuts away at the beginning of huge concerts. It is a little like being left on the launch pad at the end of "The Right Stuff," just as Gordo Cooper is about to take off on one of the most exciting and harrowing flights of the entire Mercury Space Program, but we don't get to see it.
Therein lies the problem that most viewers might have. If you want to see the diva, warts and all, then this is the documentary for you, but if you want to see her in action – or more importantly hear her – then you should hold out for one of her concert films.
So I was eagerly anticipating this doc on netflix and convinced my DH to watch it with me.
Now I owe him, big time.
Suffering succotash, but this was the most boring doc of all time. It did not do justice the woman or the artist. I dutifully sat through the whole thing, what a waste of time.
If you want to see music cocoon Netflix done right, check out the Tom Petty.
Everything she says is "me me me". She shows that she severely lacks a sense of humour and hardly cracks a joke or barely laughs. She's seems to be surrounded by a bunch of yes men and women who pander to everything she says.
In Truth of Dare Madonna was humorous, fun, intelligent and actually had in-depth conversations with her dancers and the people who surrounded her, she cared about them and what they had to say. Gaga on the other hand, doesn't seem to care about anyone but herself.
The whole movie seems contrived and portrays Gaga as a joyless, attention seeking woman that lacks empathy or true rockstar authenticity.
Granted if you have ever watch a Lady Gaga interview you would understand that she has developed the 'center of the world' complex. Where she has no idea what to say unless it pertains to herself.
After the first few minutes of this documentary you could tell everybody was going to constantly agree and suck up to her. One lady did start to say something that could be constructive criticism, but Gaga was suddenly topless and you could see the poor girl losing her train of thought.
There is even a scene where Gaga's car hits one of her friends and as she goes to confront the guy all you can subconsciously think is "Oh god, this guy's going to end up apologizing for to her for her mistake isn't he?"
I love Lady Gaga's music, her music videos are absolutely brilliant, but whatever this was, it shuts your brain down. I mean it's a good show if you want to spend it playing on your phone, even then the sounds of narcissism might make you break it. Better off avoiding toad squash all together. If you have to watch something you're better off watching This is Spinal tap.
I would have liked to seen the aftermath of her super bowl performance. I think the film really missed an opportunity there, unless Gaga didn't sign off on it. Does she maintain her "I don't give a f*** about what people think of me." mentality?
At the end of this film you will come to see how lonely she is and not okay with herself. I actually drew inspiration from that fact alone.
She's meticulous, she's usually in pain, she DOES care for her craft and has passion. If she didn't have fans and people to perform for she would likely shrivel up.
This film showed me that performing really is her calling card and she's going to have to be comfortable with being lonely at the end of the day---for a while. I have a different kind of respect for Gaga but I haven't quite figured out what that may be.
Also everyone around her looked so fake. They lied to her when they said the fans would love this album.
This is a feeble attempt to imitate Madonna. This "docu/movie/narcissistic drivel" is not worth seeing because it is build on lies upon lies. If you like to see yet another hollyweed style lie this is the one for you. I however did not like this crap at all. I am going to label crappy movies/documentaries as crap. No more tipping around the edge anymore. If people are hellbent on creating crap i will call them out on it. So this "movie"/docu is crap. Do not watch. Do something useful with said time you would have spent watching this utter drivel.
it's really break my heart to knowing that you suffer from an illness such as #fibromyalgia . the connection and your relationship with your fans, your team and your family is just amazing and beyond. You put so much passion in your works, the way you handled your trouble and talking to your team has shown me what the true leadership and professionalism really is.
p.s: recommended 😉 it's so emotional and raw and realistic and simply incredible.