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The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018) Poster

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Morgan: Mother, did you get the two dick pics I sent you?

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Audrey: I killed someone! I killed someone!

Morgan: Stop yelling!

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Morgan: Nice boobs.

Sebastian: Thanks.

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Morgan: [upon seeing Agent Wendy] We have a real-life Judi Dench in our midst. You are the boss and yet you have not sacrificed one ounce of femininity.

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Morgan: [Whisper/shouts from across restaurant] That's... not... Verne!

Audrey: What?

Morgan: [Screams] That's not Verne!

[Everyone starts shooting at them]

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[Jumping into an open car]

Audrey: Oh my God, it's a stick shift! Do you know how to drive a stick shift?

Morgan: No!

Audrey: How do you change gear?

Morgan: What's a gear?

Audrey: Abort! Abort Mission! Go!

[Run away from the car]

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Audrey: My boyfriend dumped me in a text

Morgan: Let's burn his shit

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Sebastian: You're called Morgan Freeman? I only just put that together.

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Morgan: Thumbs up.

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Finnish Backpacker: [drops assassin on his head, snapping his neck] He was gonna rob us, ja?

Sebastian: [in shock] Yes... Yes he was.

Finnish Backpacker: Scary.

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Aussie Tourist #2: Give me back my bumbag!

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Morgan: WHY are you using the turn signal? You're literally telling them where we're going.

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Morgan: [slightly buzzed] You know, I was going to drive home. But now I think I just might drive into a wall.

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Audrey: [as she's put into the van] Okay, what is happening? Did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble?

Duffer: Listen, we just wanna talk about Drew Thayer. He's your boyfriend, right?

Audrey: No! I mean, yes. Well, he was my boyfriend, but we broke up. Why, is he in trouble?

Duffer: Yes. Drew is in a lot of trouble. That's why you're in a van.

Sebastian: Do you know where your ex-boyfriend worked, Ms. Stockman?

Audrey: Uh, yeah. NPR. He had a podcast. It was about umm... I'm not 100% sure what it was about, like Jazz and economics.

Duffer: Okay. Nobody listened to that podcast. Not even me and I went to Harvard.

Sebastian: [feigning disbelief] Wow. Only took you two minutes.

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Audrey: I don't trust anyone anymore.

Morgan: You trust me though, right?

Audrey: Yes, of course. I trust you. You don't count.

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Audrey: Sebastian, I'm really sorry I didn't give you the drive at the cafe.

Sebastian: No, I understand. Drew told you to keep it safe.

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Viktor: [trying to be nice to Audrey] You have a doll face.

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Audrey: [going the her boyfriend's stuff] Really, Drew. Skid-marks on your underwear? What are you, 8? Did he want me to wash them? It that why he broke up with me, because I didn't mother him enough?

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Morgan: [with Audrey, on the phone to Drew] Are your ears burning? Because you shit is!

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Drew: [on the phone to Audrey] I'm gonna come over tomorrow and I'm gonna explain everything. Okay? Please don't do anything with my stuff.

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Audrey: I got a quarter left. Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to find the absolute worst song on the jukebox.

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Duffer: [to Audrey] You don't want to lie to us.

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Audrey: Get this. Two guys show up at my work from the CIA. They wanted to talk about Drew... They said he's a spy.

Morgan: What do you mean a spy?

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Drew: [to Audrey] I'm not great on text. I'm better on email. You know that.

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Drew: Some bad people are after me.

Audrey: The CIA?

Drew: And some other people too. And now they're after you. It's exactly why I left you.

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Morgan: [to Audrey] Okay. Someone that you loved just died and asked you to do one last thing. I think you gotta do it. I'll go with you.

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Audrey: [in the cafe] This is really fancy.

Morgan: We belong here.

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Sebastian: I'm trying to protect you.

Audrey: Yeah? The same way you protected Drew? If you were here to protect me, you wouldn't be pointing a gun at me. I'm may not be in the CIA, but I know that much.

Sebastian: MI6, actually. Drew was CIA. It's an international effort.

Audrey: [fed-up] Whatever!

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Sebastian: Hand over the package and no one gets hurt.

Audrey: Except for Drew.

Sebastian: Okay. It's not productive to keep bringing that up.

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Audrey: [as they're running down the street] Oh my god! I killed someone! I killed someone!

Morgan: Stop yelling that!

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Morgan: [to Audrey] What you did in the cafe with the gun was insane. You killed a man.

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Morgan: I thought that the international intelligence office would be fancier.

Sebastian: It's a temporary space. We don't wanna call attention to ourselves.

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Morgan: Call the CIA guys!

Audrey: No! Drew said that we can't trust anyone and he's right, 'cause he's dead. Probably because I talked to them.

Morgan: No, it's because I let the assassin into the apartment.

Audrey: Okay, fair enough. It's both our faults.

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Audrey: [as the drive opens on the computer] What are Highland's plans?

Sebastian: [alarmed] These aren't Highlands plans. This drive is a backdoor to the entire internet. Finances, emails. Everyone's secrets.

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Sebastian: I hope you're not upset about what that girl said on the news.

Audrey: Oh well. I'm not surprised. It's not like I've done anything that impressive with my life.

Sebastian: I've seen you do some impressive things. You were a great shot in the cafe. You switched the trophies on me. You didn't break when you were being tortured.

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Drew: [going through Audrey's purse and finding the tube] Thousand guesses and never would've landed on 'thumb'.

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Drew: You never finish anything.

Audrey: [leveling the gun at him] To quote a text I got, "Hey there. It's over. Sorry".

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Sebastian: [to Audrey] These vests, they save your life, but they don't prevent you from breaking ribs.

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Hairy Man: [On seeing her burns] What happened to your face?

Nadedja: [Contemptuously after breaking his nose with her elbow] What Happened To Yours?

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Audrey: My boyfriend dumped me in a text message. How do you explain that?

Morgan: I know, I know. There's a simple solution. It's called spying.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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