A tropical singles retreat takes a terrifying turn when guests realize a poisonous shark is infesting the surrounding water. Not only will it rip apart its victims, but it also uses projectile acid to hunt - in and out of the water.
In the near future, glacial melting has covered ninety-eight percent of Earth's landmass. Sharks have flourished, and now dominate the planet, operating as one massive school led by a mutated alpha shark.
Right under everyone's noses, a school of aggressive sharks finds its way to the broad Mississippi River, and before long, they attack a slow riverboat, snapping off the unsuspecting tourists' heads. However, with the famous annual fish rodeo just around the corner, the local authorities are not willing to let a few rogue sharks get in the way of having fun, and of course, making a few extra bucks, refusing to understand that, now that the underwater invaders have tasted the succulent human flesh, they'll stop at nothing to get more. Now, it's up to an old familiar face, along with a team of locals, to lend a helping hand, and try to fend off the blood-thirsty aquatic assailants before they all become shark bait. But, can they stop the ferocious Mississippi River Sharks?Written by
Watched 'Mississippi River Sharks' with the hope of a welcome distraction from a period of low moods and some campy guilty pleasure fun. Having seen so many low-budget shark films that were really bad or worse, even when taking it for what they were trying to be, there was apprehension in the air.
Before anybody gets defensive, am well aware that films like 'Mississippi River Sharks' are not ones to be taken seriously, have been well versed enough seeing previous low-budget efforts to not expect that. Have seen my fair share of low-budget shark films, and any other kind of low-budget creature film, and will admit to finding some guilty fun in some of them (i.e. the first two 'Sharknado' films). There are far worse shark films certainly, many seen recently.
'Mississippi River Sharks' at least has occasional splashes of fun and some semi-decent scenery. There is also far worse acting in other low-budget shark films, not that that is saying much, Cassie Steele in particular tries hard.
Due to that the acting largely is pretty poor, with the usual mix of overplaying and blandness. Any few attempts to develop the characters results in padded and pointless scenes, development is at best flimsy and it's all overwrought and does little to make the characters endearing or care or learn enough about them.
The execution of almost everything is severely underwhelming, not just being visually cheap and poorly acted and written even worse but what seemed like a decent, if very generic, idea was executed in fashion typical of too many killer shark films made on a low budget, with no imagination whatsoever and only occasional splashes of fun.
Faring worse are the production values, story and writing. 'Mississippi River Sharks', aside from the scenery, is drably shot and sloppily edited, but it's the truly abysmal special effects that are the worst. As the sharks were made on a low-budget it would have been forgiven a little if it was not great, but when the effects for the sharks look as if no effort was given in making them without looking so goofy and unfinished-looking that is hard to ignore or forgive.
Can say no better about the portrayal of the sharks either. They exude little personality either, no menace, not even any unintentional goofiness. Generally the attack scenes, apart from the odd mild amusement, are sloppily edited, too brief and devoid of suspense or sense of horror, complete with overused cartoonish gore that looks cheap and used gratuitously.
Writing ranges between incredibly bad to appalling. Any comedy is incredibly forced and is so cheesy it is enough to make the eyes roll in disbelief, while the more serious moments are very awkwardly written, melodramatic and as trite as anybody can possibly go. The silliness goes well overboard as the film progresses and it becomes intelligence insulting even when one tries to take it for what it's trying to be. Particularly in the final act which also drags hard and feels longer than it should be
Really wanted to like the story here because the concept was intriguing slightly, but while it starts nicely the further the movie progresses the lazier, cheesier and more formulaic it gets, also making the mistake that most low-budget shark films make of trying so hard to be over the top and stupid but in a painfully predictable and less than fresh way that it becomes tiresome. The stupidity gets stale quickly and the film is lethargic generally in pace as a result of stretching the film out for too long a length for such a slight story.
Altogether, have seen worse but poorly done. 3/10 Bethany Cox
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?
| Report this