Swamp Ape

The acting? Laughable. The dialogue? Unbelievable The monster? Now I know what happened to that old carpet that I threw out onto the curb last year.

In the ratings there are a lot of 10's, fully 30% of them. Then the rest of the ratings seem to hover toward the bottom. Clearly what happened is that they got their friends to rate it highly.

We wanted a throw away movie for tonight, so thought we'd try it. It was one hour long, which tells you all you need to know.

Where to start (I mean after stealing my old carpet)? A bunch of college students go collecting something in the Everglades. They have no idea what they are doing, but one of them fills a stopper with water. The professor does nothing but berate them. We don't even know what he is a professor of.

The monster seems to prefer women who are having their periods, so there are a number of period "jokes." One of the actors, also the director and writer, runs around most of the movie showing off his buff physique in his whitey tighties, the resident Native American (who they call "chief" believe it or not) is so clearly from India or somewhere and not Native American, the gun is a toy, the black woman is supposed to be funny because she eats everything that doesn't move fast enough, and then they start disappearing (but not quickly enough).

It isn't even good in a campy-bad way. It's just bad in every way.

I hope these folks have day jobs.