A Ghost Story

Wow wow wow. This is a monumental, staggering achievement in the art of expressing complete hatred & contempt for the viewer. This group of hateful misanthropes (Rooney, Affleck, Lowery) gathered together before in a nearly identical contest of pissing in the audience's faces, called Ain't Them Ignorant Rubes Dumb For Watching Our Pretentious Drivel, but they really outdid themselves this time. Their hate for the audience is so tremendous that it climbs itself to find a height from which to spill. Proof that even if you literally pooped on the floor, half the people who see it will declare it "deep & meaningful art!" The 1 star reviews are all examples of better writing than the movie itself. The only "directing" that took place was smoking copious amounts of weed & coughing out "Let's just point the camera at nothing for a long time!"

When watching, keep yourself entertained by trying to imagine these people planning these scenes. "No, eat the pie slower Rooney ...sloooooower... Make the pie last for a full ten minutes but really stuff your face with it & chew loud & sloooow with your mouth open. Like a dog. Put the pie on the floor & snuffle it up like a dog, do dogs use forks Rooney? No, that's right. You're an animal, a sad animal snuffling up floor-pie! PERFECT. And we'll put the sheet over a coatrack, so it looks like Affleck is standing there too. Art, this is art, we made Art!"