The Lion King (2019)
John Oliver: Zazu
Zazu : The king approaches! This is not a drill. His Majesty has requested an audience. Upon his entrance, you will rise and genuflect.
Scar : Zazu... you've made me lose my lunch.
Zazu : You will answer to Mufasa for missing the ceremony this morning.
Scar : I answer to no one.
Zazu : Scar? Scar! Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, no! No, don't look at me like that.
Scar : Are you hungry, Zazu? Perhaps--we could have a bite together!
[lunges at Zazu]
Zazu : You can't eat me. It is forbidden to eat a member of the king's court!
[Scar pins him to the ground]
Zazu : Ow! Please! Stop it!
Mufasa : [enters the den] Scar!
Scar : [releases Zazu and faces his brother] Well, look who's come to mingle with the commoners.
Mufasa : Sarabi and I didn't see you at the presentation of Simba.
Scar : Was that today? Must've slipped my mind. Of course, I meant no disrespect towards His Majesty or Sarabi. As you know, I have tremendous respect for the queen.
Zazu : As the king's brother, you should've been first in line.
Scar : I WAS first in line. Or don't you remember?
[rises up and walks out of the den]
Scar : That is, until the precious--prince arrived.
Mufasa : Don't turn your back on *me*, Scar.
Scar : Oh no, Mufasa; perhaps you shouldn't turn your back on me.
Mufasa : [roars and leaps in front of Scar, blocking his way] Is that a challenge?
Scar : I wouldn't dream of challenging you... again.
Zazu : A wise decision! You are no match for His Royalness.
Scar : Well, as far as brains go, I've got the lion's share, but when it comes to brute strength, I'm afraid my big brother will always rule.
Mufasa : Not always, Scar. One day, it will be my son who rules. Simba will be your king.
Scar : Then long live the king.
Mufasa : [watches his brother leave] What am I gonna do with him?
Zazu : Oh, come on. We both know he should've been expelled from the Pride Lands long ago.
Mufasa : He's my brother. Zazu. This is his home. As long as I am king, that will never change.
Kamari : [to Simba and Nala] Well look at this, we weren't expecting guests... today. Would you two cubs like to... stay for dinner?
Azizi : [butting in] Yeah stay for dinner, because you look like a midnight snack.
Kamari : [annoyed and irritated] Can you just give me a little bit of space.
Azizi : [backing up a little] I'm helping.
Kamari : We've talked about this before- I come in alone I'm the lead distraction so everyone can circle.
Azizi : Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
Kamari : Don't be sorry, just do it!
Shenzi : Now this is a meal I've waited my whole life. What an unexpected treat to meet the son of a king.
Kamari : Wait a second the king, as in you know who.
Azizi : Who rules you know where.
Shenzi : Mufasa does not rule me.
Young Simba : You cant do anything to me, because I'm the future king.
Shenzi : [chuckles] he's telling me what to do, his father's strength flickering inside, I wonder how all that bravery will taste.
Zazu : [suddenly appears] Let them go Shenzi. They made a mistake a horrible mistake, but if you do this, you will start a war with Mufasa.
Shenzi : Hyenas and Lions have been at war since the beginning of time. But Mufasa's bloodline WILL END HERE.
[lunges at Simba and Nala but they escape]
Shenzi : don't let them get away!
Sarafina : Nala come here, sit with us.
Nala : [Zazu arrives] Zazu, where have you been?
Zazu : I'm sorry Nala, I came as soon as I could.
[the sounds a hyena is heard]
Sarabi : The morning report, Zazu.
Zazu : Your Majesty, the Pride Lands are in imminent danger. The hyenas are chasing off the last of the herds
Azizi : The birds back.
Kamari : Get him!
[Kamari and Azizi try to chase off Zazu]
Kamari : Don't come here again unless you want to be eaten.
Zazu : Two giraffes were caught necking.
Zazu : For king and country! Tally-ho!
Zazu : Come along! Keep up! Let's move as a unit!
Young Nala : So, were are we really going?
Young Simba : How'd you know?
Young Nala : You hate the water.
Young Simba : I've heard about this place, Nala, the most incredible, amazing...
Young Nala : Just tell me where?
Young Simba : An elephant graveyard.
Young Nala : Whoaaa. How far is it?
Young Simba : Not far. Just through the shadows. But don't worry, everyone's been there.
Young Nala : We've never been that far before. What if we get lost?
Young Simba : Relax, Nala. I was shown the entire kingdom this morning with my Dad. There's nothing to worry about.
Young Nala : Well there is one thing...
Zazu : [flying overhead] We have an eminent threat! Something is approaching - oh, wait, scratch that. It's my own shadow.
Young Nala : How do we get rid of the dodo?
Young Simba : Trust me. I got this. Follow me to freedom
Zazu : Oh, how lovely it is to see the future king with his future queen!
Zazu : I could just molt...
Young Simba : What do you mean, "future queen"?
Zazu : One day, the two of you will be betrothed. Intended. Affianced.
Young Nala : Simba, you speak bird?
Zazu : Married. One day, you wi be married... to each other.
Young Simba : That's not gonna happen, Zazu. Nala and I are friends.
Young Nala : Never ever
Young Simba : And besides, she's afraid of rhinos.
Young Nala : And he's never eaten an impala.
Young Simba : I've tried it once.
Young Nala : We're never getting married, Zazu.
Zazu : A monarch who ignores tradition? With an attitude like that, I'm afraid you'll be a pretty pathetic king.
Young Simba : Well, I'm not letting anyone tell me where to go, what to do, and even who to marry. There will never be a king like me.
Zazu : Simba, you can't escape your destiny.