Dam Sharks (2016)

Voracious sharks use human bodies to build dams.

Directors:

James Kondelik, Jon Kondelik

Stars:

Janelle Beaudry, Paige Lauren Billiot, Ashton Bingham

Cast

Credited cast:
Janelle Beaudry	...	Mary
Paige Lauren Billiot	...	Skyler
Ashton Bingham	...	Nate
Jessica Blackmore	...	Kate
Kabby Borders	...	Joline
Jason Brillantes	...	Employee
Corey Craig	...	Blake
Robert Craighead	...	Carl
Michelle DeMond	...	Gwen
Andy Earle	...	Mark
Eric Paul Erickson	...	Kenny
Francis Gonzalez	...	Jorge
Saxon Jones	...	Ted
Will Leon	...	Burt
Jason London	...	Tanner Brooks

Storyline

A violent storm sends a swarm of bull sharks up river to where the salmon seem to be spawning only the bull sharks have other ideas and start using fisherman, zip liners and anything or anyone they can take a bite out of to use them as dam reinforce. Yes the sharks are turning body parts into a dam. Meanwhile the 19th biggest tech com company is having a retreat right off the beaten path by the river. Soon man and nerd have to beat these damn sharks back!

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Genres:

Action | Adventure | Comedy | Horror | Sci-Fi | Thriller

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Certificate:

TV-14

Details

Official Sites:

cinetel films is distributing

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

25 July 2016 (USA)

Also Known As:

Malditos Tubarões

Company Credits

Production Co:

Cinetel Films, Syfy

Technical Specs

Runtime:

83 min

Sound Mix:

Stereo

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

16:9 HD

Did You Know?

Trivia

During the rafting race Kate n Carl break into a shed. The lock is already prebroken and as she enters the rifle is pointed down. Immediately after entering the rifle is pointed up.

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Quotes

Kenny: God, it's like a bad movie - I've never seen anything like it!

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Connections

Referenced in I Hate Everything: the Search for the Worst: Shark Exorcist (2016)

User Reviews

Man and nerd versus sharks

Have made no secret in the past of intensely disliking, and even outright hating a lot, a vast majority of SyFy's (near-universally maligned for good reason) output, though there is curiosity as to whether they are capable of making something good and compulsive about their output's badness. Admittedly, SyFy do have a small group of watchable films and the occasional (big emphasis on that word) above average one, unfortunately outweighed by the lacklustre at best and often dreadful films they churn out.

Am well aware, just to make things clear right now, that films like 'Dam Sharks' are not ones to be taken seriously, have been well versed enough seeing previous SyFy efforts to not expect that. Have seen my fair share of low-budget shark films, and any other kind of low-budget creature film, and will admit to finding some guilty fun in some of them (i.e. the first two 'Sharknado' films). There are marginally worse shark films certainly than 'Dam Sharks'.

Some of the scenery is semi-decent but that is it in 'Dam Sharks' favour. Even that is wasted by that the rest of the production values are so poorly executed.

The acting largely is pretty poor, with the usual mix of overplaying and blandness. Any few attempts to develop the characters results in padded and pointless scenes, development is at best flimsy and it's all overwrought and does little to make the characters endearing or care or learn enough about them.

The execution of almost everything is severely underwhelming, not just being visually cheap and poorly acted and written even worse but what seemed like a decent, if very generic, idea was executed in typical SyFy shark movie fashion, with no imagination whatsoever and only occasional splashes of fun.

Faring worse are the production values, story and writing. 'Dam Sharks', aside from the scenery, is drably shot and sloppily edited, but it's the truly abysmal special effects that are the worst. As the sharks were made on a low-budget it would have been forgiven a little if it was not great, but when the effects for the sharks look as if no effort was given in making them without looking so goofy and unfinished-looking that is hard to ignore or forgive.

Can say no better about the portrayal of the sharks either. They exude little personality either, no menace, not even any unintentional goofiness. Generally the attack scenes, apart from the odd mild amusement, are sloppily edited, too brief and devoid of suspense or sense of horror. Any gore is cheaply cartoon and adds nothing.

Writing ranges between incredibly bad to appalling. Any comedy is incredibly forced and is so cheesy it is enough to make the eyes roll in disbelief, while the more serious moments are very awkwardly written and as trite as anybody can possibly go, complete with some truly muddled jargon. The silliness goes well overboard as the film progresses and it becomes intelligence insulting even when one tries to take it for what it's trying to be.

Really wanted to like the story here because the concept was intriguing slightly, but while it starts nicely the further the movie progresses the lazier, cheesier and more formulaic it gets, also making the mistake that most SyFy films make of trying so hard to be over the top and stupid but in a painfully predictable and less than fresh way that it becomes tiresome. The stupidity gets stale quickly and the film is lethargic generally in pace from over-extending a too thin story for a too long length.

In conclusion, awful. 1/10 Bethany Cox