S.M.A.R.T. Chase (2017) Poster

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A short note to Olando Bloom
BasicLogic29 January 2018
Mr. Bloom, I used to be your fan and liked some of your films, especially "Kingdom of Heaven", which gave certain impact to the depth of my emotion and the character you played also impressed me a lot. Your participations of all the films you've signed on never overlooked by me.

But this "The Shanghai Job" really forced me to call an end to pay any further attention to you, because this film only qualified for "straight to Wal-Mart B-movie DVD bin", not qualified for a generous wide release on the big screen. Please do not get involve with any film backed up by any Chinese production in the future. This film is just so pretentious and phony and so painful to watch, not just terrible.

Also, dying your hair into a blond only gave me such a pain to watch, it looked just so repellently unnatural. Your heavy South African English accent in this film also turned me off further. The story is so childishly ridiculous, the scenarios and the plots both laughable, the directing so mediocre, genetic and boring. All the supporting actors, some of them are veterans and reputed in mainland China or in Hong Kong, but they were also ridiculed and wasted by this ridiculous and childish screenplay. It's, like I've said before, so painful to watch.

This film is so bad and I really don't want to waste more words to review it, 'cause it's unworthy.
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5/10
C-grade production with B-list bleached blonde Bloom in a film that wasn't SMART
TheTopDawg2 September 2018
This has Made in China all over it. From the loud and annoying cheesy score, action scenes, writing and acting. The only thing decent in the film was the beautiful scenery and the adequate directing. I couldn't get past Blooms' cheeseball bleached blonde hair that made him look more like a fruit cake than a tough guy. Bad choice of casting to begin with. And who names a character Ding-Dong anyway lol? There was so much cheese in this film it made me lack toes in toll her ants. ;p A generous 5/10 from me.
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3/10
Orlando Balloon - Actor
gbkimberley30 January 2018
Considered amongst many film critics to be the very best at convincingly portraying a piece of very thin, soaking wet, tissue paper and possessing the emotional range of a balloon with a face drawn on it, Orlando Balloon has proven time and time again that you don't actually need to be able to act in order to be successfully mistaken for an actor.

In this latest offering he succeeds spectacularly in proving so again. The addition this time around of a mop of blonde hair and a selection of small cuts to his face and various 'hero' poses, all fail in adding any real depth to his standard facial expression or to this flop. It's dire.

Fortunately for all concerned, Orlando cannot confirm what his next role might be and it really isn't worth watching this movie to see for yourself why that is.
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3/10
Total crap
juvigy14 February 2018
This is a complete waste of time. Nothing is good in this film. Even Orlando's acting is mediocre. Fighting scenes are a joke. The script is total boredom. And the IT guy is so bad that it is paintful to watch. Hell , there is not even a sexy girl scene. As i have said in the title - this is a total disaster!
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5/10
Not perfect but avoid and funny way to relax and chill
odufuyem29 June 2018
I have read all the reviews about the movie and I must say a good number of them were pretty harsh. It is obvious that the movie wasn't a Grade A movie however i didnt start it with high expectations . I would say I was a bit impressed and it isn't as bad as it is portrayed by a lot of people . It is something you can sit to watch if you are bored and swill totally enjoy. I guess people expected more from Orlando bloom but I will say the movie wasn't terrible
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3/10
Can't Recommend
larrys33 October 2018
Orlando Bloom portrays the head of a Shanghai security company specializing in protecting valuable art work being transported from country to country. After a priceless Van Gogh is stolen from his possession about a year before, he's given a second chance by a Shanghai museum to transport a most valuable and last of its kind vase. Of course, things will not go according to plan.

This film just came across to me as amateurish and non-believable with stilted dialogue as well. Numerous chases and martial arts scenes are very predictable. Also, could someone have gotten Bloom a band-aid for that bloody forehead gash he was sporting almost the entire movie?

Overall, can't recommend.
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5/10
I love this city
nogodnomasters11 February 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Danny Stratton (Orlando Bloom) runs a security firm that quickly goes down hill when they get robbed of a valuable painting. A year later they get to redeem themselves by transporting a valuable vase only to run into the same gang that robbed them the first time. Danny wants to get the stolen item back and his girlfriend.

This has your basic Chines formula with the expected Scooby-doo twist and Disney ending.

Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity.
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1/10
Total Crap! Total Crap! Total Crap! Total Crap!
hare-krshn19 February 2018
This is a total disaster, being this film is chinese, supposed to be highest kungfu quality, however with this Orlando presence, this kind of action (fighting scene) cannot be considered. tOtAL catastrophe...tOtAL BOREdom...kind of cat and mouse chase story!
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1/10
Disaster
wxes5063230 September 2018
Another crazy China ego tried to prove how international they are. I can't even find any words to tell how horrible it is, oh yeah, horror movie
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1/10
Saddening
antinea-9692827 July 2018
What the movie is that ? Cheap movie, cheap story, cheap actors It's hard to look at, failed scenes of kung fu Awful
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2/10
Haphazard stew.
puppyzwolle2 February 2018
The menu made it look pretty good. All the right ingredients. Good lead actor, convincing cinematography, pretty standard but proven plot, an obvious budget. This should at least have been a decent movie...... It isn't. Bloom is trying but the editing makes him look like a bad actor. It almost seems like the editor got stuck with to little footage. Not even music cues are lined up or relevant. And still there are lots of great shots and interesting camera angles.... they just don't serve a purpose the way they are edited. They are just there because they look good...on paper. And the director wasn't sure what 'taste' the movie should have because it is all over the place but never clear. Dramatic scenes are bland. Action scenes are filled with action but not engaging. Dialogue is not great and mainly filler. Again; the ingredients were there. They just forgot to hire a good cook.
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It is not very interesting
Gordon-116 October 2018
This film tells the story of a security expert who is ambushed during a job to protect a vase from Shanghai to London.

Even though it is a proper heist film, it lacks intensity and thrill. It somehow does not seem very believable or engaging, but I can't exactly pinpoint what is wrong with it. Perhaps it is because of its constant need to impress viewers with its fancy cars, posh real estates and high tech gadgets.
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How BAD can a movie be????
zoyapirzad9 February 2018
I had heard about Orlando Bloom but had not seen any of his movies. This was the first one and hopefully it will be the last one !!! What a catastrophe!!!! So BAAAAAD.....
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9/10
Entertaining and Fun
adamtgale9 October 2018
Despite what the critics say I really enjoyed this film. It's not super deep or loaded with thoughtful multi-layered dialogue but it wasn't designed to be like that. It was made to be a fresh, slick, enjoyable film where the good guys win the day. And sometimes that is OK! I've had my fill of movies that leave you empty at the end because they killed off the main character or put too many violent scenes in it. This is the sort of film you can watch, after having a bad day at the office, sit back, enjoy listen to the funky music and enjoy the good hearted characters succeed on their mission. And to be honest, I think Orlando's hair looks pretty cool dyed blond! More films like this please :)
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7/10
Not entirely bad.
SpecialWeirdo1015 October 2018
As it is, this is a reasonable good attempt from director Charles Martin to enter the big screen. He is experienced with TV series, and that shows, he struggles to keep it up for the entire movie. He only gets saved by the Chinese actors whom does a good job, if you watch this movie because of Mr Bloom, be warned, he isn't doing his best job here.

The screenplay have some holes, not really big, but you will see them and think "why this?".

The car chase scenes are "fairly OK" , the fighting scenes are the same.

The movie are entertaining and there are not too many dull moments.

If Charles Martin had used a firmer hand on the directing, this movie could been amazing. But it ends up above average, so he cant complain :)

Ohhh and I don't want to comment on Mr Blooms gay look as a blonde...

7 stars, not a movie to forget to watch, but no reason to watch it more than two times.
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