- Maura Isles: [Looking at the victim] He is very talented! I mean, this laceration on his cheek is a work of art. He even discolored the subcutaneous tissue to account for maggot infestation
- Jane Rizzoli: Yay?
- Maura Isles: Well, we have to admire how real it looks. I mean, this takes dedication
- Jane Rizzoli: There's a world record for the number of snail on a person's face. That takes dedication too, but it doesn't mean I have to admire it
- Maura Isles: How many snails was it?
- Jane Rizzoli: That's not the point, Maura! 43
- Jackie Daniels: Jared, you are too old to make up stories
- Jared Daniels: I don't make up stories!
- Jackie Daniels: That spider bite, that rendered you unable to do your homework?
- Jared Daniels: I could have gone blind
- Jane Rizzoli: Yeah, what it his story?
- Angela Rizzoli: He is very bright. He, eh, dropped out to pursue his passion for farming
- Jane Rizzoli: In Boston? What's he farm?
- Angela Rizzoli: [Starts running away] Hydroponic marihuana, mostly. Gotta go
- Vince Korsak: Maybe he is really a zombie
- Jane Rizzoli: Well, then we would have no case, because you can't kill a zombie. They're already dead
- Vince Korsak: Hey, did you see the zombie Santa Claus?
- Jane Rizzoli: Santa is not a zombie
- Vince Korsak: Well, he never seems to age
- Jane Rizzoli: That's because he's filled with the magic of Christmas, Korsak!
- Frankie Rizzoli Jr.: Zombie profiling! It's a real think
- Jane Rizzoli: You look disgusting
- Frankie Rizzoli Jr.: Thank you