F9: The Fast Saga (2021) Poster

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Charlize Theron's put-a-bowl-on-head-and-cut-around haircut needs it's own movie
sumtim3s00n29 July 2021
The movies are becoming just too stupid. Soon the storyline will be 2 explosions from opposite side of the tracks who fall in love.

It is insulting to the audience. Actors should give their money back for making society even more dumb and primitive. Then ban the writers, director and producers from hollybank.

All that money and budget, probabily 125 writers they hired and they couldnt come up with a movie that would be something above the quality of a toilet cleaner. Actually all commercials,even those 5 second ones, are above this nonsense.

All in all, generic, insultingly dumb, unfunny and a horrible mess.
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Another Dull, Dumb & Disappointing Entry In The Fast Saga
CinemaClown29 July 2021
In the 20 years of its existence, The Fast & the Furious franchise has upgraded itself several times over the years. What started as a story about illegal street racing transitioned to heist thrillers with Fast Five and with every next sequel inflating the action set pieces & discarding physics, the series now enjoys the same status as comic-book blockbusters, glued together by its sermons about family. F9 continues this new tradition by taking things to preposterous heights and is another dumb entry in the saga.

Directed by Justin Lin (Fast Five & Star Trek Beyond), this ninth instalment simply looks at all the ridiculous premise & over-the-top action the last few instalments employed and just tries to take the next big leap. Logic & gravity left the saga a long time back so viewers expecting any of it now are only kidding themselves. Brainless entertainment can be fun when it's done right but it's all executed so terribly here that along with common sense goes its sense of joy. The action & drama just feels bland, soulless & uninspiring.

If you thought that Dom & his so-called family taking on planes, trains, tanks & submarine in the previous chapters was a tad too much then you will be amused by the places this sequel ventures to. And yet, none of it feels even remotely surprising. It's full of setups, twists & dull action that never for once stimulate the senses and are predictable from afar. Performances don't deserve a mention just like the schlocky writing on display here. Its 143 mins runtime is strongly felt and even its attempts at humour fall flat this time around.

Overall, F9 is as forgettable as it is formulaic and isn't even enjoyable for the most part. The ridiculous action sequences dialled to extremity is just hollow from within, and fall way short of delivering the desired payoff. From beginning to end, it is an absolute chore to sit through. Despite the glaring shortcomings, fans of the saga may still manage to scavenge something out of this big-budget garbage. A lifeless & lacklustre piece of blockbuster filmmaking, F9 is one of the weakest additions to The Fast Saga and is no less than an utter disappointment.
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2/10
I miss the old F&F
DeBBss30 July 2021
I've heard so many jokes about the physics in F9 thinking they were just overexaggerating, but no, it's really that bad. F&F is known for going crazier and crazier with each entry, but I think it's gone too far for its own good. Not one action scene entertained me; none of the scenes were creative, they were just dumb. Some may find enjoyment from how ridiculous it is, but I was just left unimpressed.

And the story was exactly the same as the last few F&F movies. They're so similar that you can literally predict what happens if you've recently watched F8 or F7. F&F has gone so far from it's roots that I've given up on the franchise. At least give one spin-off for the car guys and OG fans, maybe something similar to the first three F&Fs, it'll hurt nobody, Universal.

This movie is just really bad. Tons of plot holes, ridiculous action scenes, and a story that disgraces what F&F used to be. As a huge and longtime fan of the franchise, I have now lost faith. This film is a disgrace, and I refuse to believe that John Cena is Dominic Toretto's brother.
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2/10
Enough. Red light. Stop
d-shilling-11 July 2021
Just utter garbage. To say this movie was written and made by a 12 year old is an insult to a 12 year old. This franchise needs to end now.
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2/10
this franchise just gets dumber and dumber
MLDinTN17 March 2022
For an adventure movie to be good, it still needs to be somewhat plausible. This movie is so out there and unrealistic it just makes the whole thing dumb. Some examples, driving a jeep across a falling bridge but still makes it to the other side (forget gravity), flying a car into space and destroying a satellite by ramming it with the car, using magnets to take over a truck. Movie also introduces John Cena as Dom's younger brother whom just happens to work for the guy that wants to take over the world. Of course there is history with Dom blaming Jakob for their dad's death. And they have a big fight on top a big rig, just silly.

FINAL VERDICT: Not worth your time.
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1/10
My wife said...
ian-86415 August 2021
That this movie is marginally more interesting than me.

The divorce is final next month.
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5/10
This movie was so bad that it became a joke...
paul_haakonsen29 July 2021
As Tej (played by Ludacris) says in the movie: "as long as we obey the laws of physics, then we'll be fine, okay?"

Yeah, that concept is right out the window in this movie. Literally. But hey, at least this 2021 movie titled "F9" made for some really good laughs.

Granted, I wasn't expecting a whole lot from director Justin Lin's movie here, as the franchise has been one steady downhill ride since after the first movie. And with each movie things become more and more outrageous and out of hand. In fact, by now the movie franchise ought to be renamed into "The Outrageous and Ludicrous".

Still, I had the opportunity to watch "F9", and so I did, as I hadn't already seen it. And yeah, "F9" was as laughable as I had anticipated it.

Actually, Cipher (played by Charlize Theron) actually summarized how I was feeling throughout the entire movie here, with one single line that she uttered in the movie; "you got to be kidding me."

Visually then "F9" was good. Yeah, I will say that much, because the visuals definitely are top notch and help carry the movie, as basically everything else in the movie wasn't doing much for the movie.

And yeah, they had a very impressive cast ensemble for "F9", I will admit that much. What does amaze me, however, is that people on the cast list don't stop up and go "really?" when they read the script. But I guess, a dollar is a dollar, huh?

If you sit down to watch "F9", you have to put aside anything called laws of physics and realism. Because all those concepts are non-existing in this movie. And the abundance of things that was downright laughable and outrageous in "F9" is countless, but at least they provided me with a heap of laughs. Yeah, I couldn't help laugh throughout the majority of this movie, because it was just so bad.

"F9" is a watchable movie, but it is essentially just another testimony to why the "Fast and Furious" franchise should have stopped after "Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift".

I am rating "F9" a very bland and mediocre five out of ten stars. This is a movie that left no impressions on me, and it is one that will just quietly fade into oblivion, given its ludicrous over-the-top lack of respect for laws of physics, gravity and realism.
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2/10
A very bizarre film
elliotjeory1 August 2021
This is nothing like the previous films, it's a mess. It's a mixture of bizarre random scenes like all the deleted scenes from the previous films put into one. The flashback scenes are terrible, it's so unrealistic it's laughable.

I thought the previous reviews I read where just haters but there not, the film sucks!!!
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Stop.
aseeleg4 July 2021
Just please stop it! That's unbelievable and we really sick of this, and we all know that you sick of this too, and you guys just make it to get earnings and a F money , but please we DON'T WANT MORE.
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2/10
Holy....
xNecRosex30 July 2021
Just when you thought it couldn't get much worse... it did.

There is not much to say about this, barely watchable, total nonsense, fairly cheaply done CGI (given it's 2021) and overall just utter trash. Not going to bother talking about script or direction.

By the time the very first "chase sequence" is over you realise nothing can save this movie from then onwards.
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1/10
They finally went way too far!
italianchica-5013513 July 2021
I usually enjoy this franchise and have seen every movie multiple times. Unfortunately F9 was the most ridiculous, unbelievable, far fetched nonsense I've ever seen. It was so dumb to the point that I wasn't entertained. Talk about disappointing.
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1/10
Pigs In Space! Cars! I Mean Cars! Cars In Space!
boblipton18 May 2022
Do you feel a need for me to describe the plot of this movie, the latest entry in the Fast and Furious series? John Cena has joined the series as another master assassin who happens to be the brother that Vin Diesel has never mentioned in his never-ending quest for family. The locations include Tbilisi in Georgia, to Yorkshire, which stands in for Chernyobl. The vroom-vroom of the cars is restrained in the first two-thirds of the movie; they're replaced by muscular men who once hoped to be actors punching each other without doing damage to either their opponents or their hands.

There's a big action sequence about the two-hour mark in this movie. While most of the cast is busy wrecking Tbilisi's light-rail system, others are driving a car in space. I could, I suppose, try to explain it, but why? Director Justin Lin thought it would be cool.

I can think of no words to express my feelings that would not get me banned.
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1/10
Illogical and nonsense
zaman-7877822 July 2021
This franchise was about street racing and now all of a sudden after 8 installments its about the same crew of below average actors trying to save the world from evil. If you want to see a bunch of people saving the world with their anti-physics and doent-make-any-sense sort of stunts, i'd recommend you put your 30 dollars on something like Batman or Superman because this film is wrong in so many ways that i dont even know from where to start.
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1/10
Jeez Vin Diesel's Monotonous Heroic Voice is so annoying.
kenzibit29 July 2021
This movie is bad, just bad.... From plot to performances bad. This franchise needs to be killed and Diesel retired.

I mean why do they fight like cyborgs and super heroes? Every scene made to feel emotional but stupid with lame dialogues, predictable set pieces and Diesel acting so heroic and appearing just at the last moments to sort of bring hope.....with his stupid monotonous voice.

My one star is just for the effects, camera movements and panning, nothing else. Gosh, this feels like a school project and the student needs an F. Guys, just skip this.
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1/10
What is up with Charlize Theron's hair in these god-forsaken movies?
derekrsim3 August 2021
Couldn't bear to watch beyond 20 minutes. Toretto's younger self has no resemblance to him now whatsoever. And that's the least of the utterly ridiculous things that the filmmaker's trying to make you buy into for 2 hours. Lame dialogue. I love British accents but this one I just could not bear any longer.
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2/10
No
premkrmufc1 July 2021
This movie didn't need to exist..just like the last one..
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1/10
I had to watch 3 episodes of Batwoman to try and forget this mess!!!
raqsar30 July 2021
OMG was this movie bad, had to watch Batwoman and the Equalizer to get this one out of my head! From street racing to outer space and cardi-B too, plus John Cena on roids. It just doesn't get any worse than that, oh wait John Cena apologizing to the Chinese people for calling Taiwan a country, there it got worse!!
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2/10
Don't waste your time
danmelder30 July 2021
I admit, I've been a fast fan all the way. Decent stories, ridiculous action scenes. Love them.

Watching this was just awful. There are a couple of decent action sequences, but you need more than that to make up a movie.

Also...Charlize Theron and her stupid haircut were totally irrelevant.

BAD BAD BAD.

I'd be very surprised if they even bother to make an F10.
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1/10
R.I.P. to a fun franchise
FeastMode25 June 2021
I am a huge fan of this franchise. And i watched all 9 movies again before F9. Here are my ratings for reference:

(1) original 8/10... (2) 2 fast 7/10... (3) tokyo drift 3/10... (4) fast & furious 7/10... (5) fast 5 - 8/10... (6) fast & furious 6 - 8/10... (7) furious 7 - 4/10... (8) fate 8/10... (9) hobbs and shaw 2/10...

in my review for hobbs and shaw, i said i hope f9 doesn't continue with the madness introduced in that movie. And in a way it doesn't. There are no super soldiers. And it doesn't switch to the sci-fi genre (for the most part). But in another way, it continues exactly where hobbs and shaw left off. Completely ridiculous action that is not the least bit believable and disregards the most basic laws of physics.

And i could tell from the first action scene. I tried to be patient, but it got worse and worse. This series has always pushed the limits, but they've lost all restraint and do whatever they want, no matter how stupid. I groaned and rolled my eyes so many times. Some parts were so dumb that i straight up closed my eyes for 5 seconds cause i couldn't handle it. And it's not just a random thing here or there. It's the majority of the action.

A quote from my hobbs and shaw review: "I always say the best action movies toe the line between improbable and impossible. To quote joey from friends, 'you're so far past the line that you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you!' lmao."

On top of that, none of it is good. Even if you suspend disbelief, nothing about the action is impressive. Not one scene wowed me or gave me goosebumps. Even the fight scenes are crap. At one point i stopped caring about the action at all. And this is coming from an action junkie. By comparison, f8 had multiple BEASTLY action scenes that had my jaw dropped.

Aside from the action, this movie just isn't good. The story is useless. They tried to have character moments, but they didn't work for me. Which is odd because i'm already invested in all these characters. Most of the comedy doesn't work. And some of it is done at the expense of realism (they do something that makes no sense so they can joke about it).

My other biggest gripe: rewriting history. Apparently the trailer spoiled this, which is why i don't watch trailers. But they are pooping on their own franchise by changing past events. And you can argue that the franchise has done this before, but it was more of adding on to the story. Whereas with this movie, it really feels like they were pulling stuff out of their butts

did i mention it's really dumb? Unfathomably dumb. You know the overused phrase "i could feel myself getting dumber"? I really really could. I found myself mouth-breathing with my eye lids half shut lol

What a waste of charlize theron. I was so happy she survived f8. She's a BEAST of an actress (FURIOSA!), and i liked her villain. But she was literally in a box for the majority of the movie. Also, the Rock has become a staple of this franchise. Why is he not in this movie? Instead we get john cena. Sigh.

Racking my brain trying to come up with a positive. All i got is the musical score. Or at least one track was awesome. They played it during the end credits.

My entire theater clapped when it finished. Ppl are stupid. But that means we'll probably get another one. Hopefully they can right the ship. But i don't have much confidence in that happening.

There is so much more i can talk about. I can't remember it all. But i'm sad and disappointed. My wait for good post-pandemic movies continues. So far i can think of one (a quiet place 2). And that's out of like 15-20 movies i've seen. (1 viewing, 6/24/2021)
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1/10
Wow
laithlaith24 July 2021
I literally cannot understand how this is getting anything more than a 1/10 from people. Possibly in my top 10 worst movies of all time.
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5/10
Unrealistic
zacattack381 July 2021
Most unrealistic movie I have ever seen. That's it. That's all I have to say about it.
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2/10
Rewarmed Stale Soup
westsideschl15 October 2021
Same old lets see how many ridiculously improbable street/road, congested w/people & cars, swerves & crashes (with the help of latest computer generated CGI) we can cram into a so overcooked non-creative storyline. Then add in the usual baddies out to get the super weapon to conquer humanity - again. No acting required; no intelligent dialogue needed, just a good personal trainer to get muscles for tight T's. 2 & 1/2 hours (thank you ff) as a litmus test on how we use our time to better our selves.
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1/10
Bad dream.
karapets30 July 2021
Good movie about street racing became ridiculous and disgusting mess for brainless people, who continuing financing producers of this garabage.

Calling this movie is insult for the word of MOVIE.

Producers of this content should be legally charged for the crime against humanity.
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1/10
You ain't Fast, are you Serious?
rasticho3 August 2021
I felt compelled to write this review one hour into the movie (couldn't carry on for obvious reasons)... We all knew the franchise was steadily worsening but this one takes the cake. I don't think you can make something utterly ridiculous even on purpose.

Only question I would like to ask the cast is do they actually care about F&F like we the fans do/did or was it just a big lie right from the start?

A person with some kind of self-esteem wouldn't embarrass him/herself this way.

P. S. Charlize, I keep having nightmares about that haircut.
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3/10
sup bro?
budmerman2 August 2021
Charlize Theron with a with a glandular hair doo in a glass box, dude.

Word bro?

Word. Also gots a rocket powered pontiac fiero that launches into orbit.

Fo realz bra?

Truth.

I love you bro.

Bring it in bra.
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