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Ivan Kaye in The Coroner (2015)

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How to Catch a Lobster

The Coroner

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  • When a body washes up on a beach Davey is convinced it is that of Kevin Burton who went missing after robbing the casino where he worked. Jane however believes it could be the result of a botched burial at sea and has her assistant Clint interviewing local undertakers, where he discovers sharp practice and a link with the dead man's identity.—don @ minifie-1

Descrizione

  • A vintage yacht is on the water. A group of people are having a funeral gathering, a burial at sea. They slide the casket off the stern of the boat into the water.

    Clint is surfing on the coast. He comes in, finds a bloated, grey body that has washed up, wearing a nice watch.

    Clint calls Jane about the body and she tells him to call Davey and she'll be over. Beth wants to get a tattoo of a barcode that when scanned will return her name. Her mother and gran joke if it's nice they'll get it too, at which she frowns.

    Jane arrives at the beach. There's a reporter with a camera trying to get into the crime scene. The body has been considerably damaged by sea life and isn't yet identifiable. Jane sends Clint to deal with the undertaker, and tells him not to talk to the reporter. There has been a series of badly done sea burials and this may be another one.

    A woman arrives at the police station to file a missing persons report.

    Jane arrives at her meeting with the town's local undertakers. She talks to them about the spate of recent poorly carried out sea burials. Since bodies at sea can be quickly damaged beyond recognition, washed up sea burials are treated as suspicious deaths, which wastes police resources. She wants all sea burials to have a DNA sample registered. They complain about cost and don't want to do it. Jane threatens that she may take the crown's business for handling burials elsewhere.

    The woman filing the missing persons report says her boyfriend is missing. She hasn't seen him in over a week. He disappears to go sailing for days at a time. She thinks he's lost at sea. She knows the exact type of boat and its name. He goes out once or twice a month and is very experienced. He's gone before, but called. Davey says there hasn't been any lost boats found, but she points out it has been stormy lately. He also gets into trouble with the law a lot. Davey recognizes the name.

    Jane arrives at her office. The reporter has been camped out outside. Davey is there to hear about the body Clint found. There's no ID yet. Davey shows her the picture of the missing person, Kevin Burton, wondering if it could be him. Jane is certain her found body was from a botched burial at sea, which is her department, but Davey argues if it is Burton, then it's Davey's case as a missing person. Since Burton had been in trouble with the police, they should have a DNA sample, but Davey says they can't find one.

    Jane and Davey visit a casino where Burton worked security. They speak to the owner, who is dismissive. He hasn't seen Burton in over a week, then disappeared. He's worked there three years and never missed work before. Burton used to be a boxer. The last day Burton worked, 75K was lost from one of the bank trucks picking up the casino's cash. The owner didn't report it and doesn't want to talk about it. After Jane and Davey leave, he calls someone about Burton.

    Jane and Davey spar about whose jurisdiction the body is under. They both stick to their suspicions and will continue their own investigation. They put a bet of a steak dinner on whoever ends up right. Jane sends Clint to talk to all the local undertakers who do sea burials, and visit them to get a list of all their sea burials in the past month.

    Postmortem report suggests the body was male, in their 30s or 40s. The body is missing a tooth. Davey suggests that's evidence he was a boxer. The report also says that the body didn't die from drowning, but from a blow to the head and neck. Davey theorizes that he was roughed up for the robbery and dumped into the water. Jane points out the body is wearing a fancy watch, too nice for a casino bouncer, but Davey points out it's a fake Rolex.

    Clint visits the first undertaker. He asks for a list of the past month's sea burials. The undertaker is brusque, but then warms up when Clint says he's from the coroner's office, and starts offering treats. The undertaker complains the press have been bugging him all day thanks to the story about botched sea burials. He tells Clint they only did two sea burials in the past month, including the one that morning. The undertaker tries to butter him up.

    Davey and Jane visit the woman, Dora, who filed the missing report for Burton. She asks about the body, and insists it's Burton. Dora is oddly casual. They ask for a DNA sample, but he has no living family, and she is presumably his next of kin. She says he doesn't have any personal affects there, and what there is she's cleaned as she's a clean freak. Jane notices a collection of dirty teacups on the top of a bookcase. Jane asks if Burton was missing any teeth, and the woman says she doesn't think so. But he did wear a fake Rolex that she got him. Jane asks what color his eyes were. Dora doesn't know.

    Davey suggests his tooth could have been lost in the incident that killed him. Jane asks about the eyes. Davey doesn't make much of it, but Jane insists that if Dora was his lover, she would know. Davey admits he doesn't remember what color his wife's eyes are, although he remembers Jane's.

    The police have found a lost boat. The reporter has been following them. This is 12 miles away from where the body was found, and Jane wonders how the boat could have gone so far without someone operating it. The boat and its name matches the details given by Dora. Davey celebrates victory over their bet.

    Jane is confused why a man who had just stolen 75K would then go out for days on a small boat with a storm approaching. Davey suggests he was trying to avoid being found. Jane presses Davey to get the DNA match so they can finally end the puzzle for good.

    Clint arrives at another undertaker's. The undertaker takes a phone call, and says something about a canine being gone. Davey offers condolence for the man's missing dog, and the man seems confused. Clint asks for the list of sea burials done in the past month, and he says there were a few ladies. Clint says never mind, since their body is a male. The undertaker follows him out, and starts to sweet talk him. He offers him a lead on a box seat at the football pitch, and gives Clint his number, which he writes on the back of a casino ticket. He asks Clint to put in a good word with Jane.

    Jane is going over the evidence. She thinks it's unlikely that someone could just get the jump on Burton, having been a hefty boxer and good fighter. She muses about Dora's odd attitude and treatment of him, buying him fake gifts and not knowing the color of his eyes. None of it adds up.

    Davey is on the phone with the national DNA database to get the DNA for Burton. The record has been deleted.

    Jane is at Mick's pub where Mick has caught a lobster in a trap. Jane tests Mick and her mom on knowing the color of her eyes. Mick knows it, and remarks how any lover would.

    Clint visits another undertaker. They are a bit off-putting, and they know why he's here. But they don't do sea burials. They mostly do lower class people who wouldn't afford such a thing.

    Kevin Burton's DNA was deleted from the national system. After three years, a person's DNA can be requested to be removed from the records. The request to delete his DNA came recently. There are also no dental records. Jane points out the watch strap is too small for a heavyweight boxer -- it doesn't even fit on Davey's wrist. His boss had said he had "hands like shovels." They wonder how they can get more information out of Dora. Jane suggests they lead her into a trap, like a lobster.

    They visit Dora. She mentions that actually, yes, Burton had lost a tooth, a canine, knocked out in a boxing match. Jane asks if Burton had any tattoos. She shows Dora a picture of a tattoo -- it's a picture of the one her daughter wants to get. Dora, assuming it is a picture of the unidentified body, says yes. She doesn't have any photos of it though.

    Clint returns and reports that none of the recent sea burials could possibly be their body. He remarks that one of the undertakers gave him his number on the back of a casino slip. It's the same casino that Burton worked at. Meanwhile, Dora has emailed Jane a picture of Kevin Burton with a barcode tattoo on his hip. Davey remarks it looks like it was drawn in pen.

    Davey interviews the undertaker, Prince, that gave Clint the casino slip about his knowledge of Burton, but he denies knowing him. He denies ever going to the casino. But they have CCTV of him at that casino, on the night of Burton's disappearance, being thrown out by Burton.

    Prince laments that after his wife died, he went off the rails and started gambling, but ended up in debt. He knew Burton, who came up with an idea. Prince admits he is helping Burton disappear. Prince took the corpse of a homeless man who died by accident, put some identifiable things on it to make it seem like it was Burton, and threw it into the sea. He was inspired by the previous two botched sea burials and figured it would play out like it almost did. He doesn't take responsibility for the other two botched burials.

    Davey arrives at Dora's place. No one answers, but he looks through the window and sees Burton, alive and well. He runs and Davey gives chase. Burton runs into a garage, but gets chased down by his old boss. Davey gets there before he does anything and arrests Burton.

    Dora runs into the station. Jane tells her there's good news and bad news -- her boyfriend is alive, but she's being arrested for perverting the course of justice.

    The next morning, Jane enters the Coroner's Court. Her verdict on the death of Theodore Rosenstein, the washed up body of the homeless man that Prince tried to look like Burton: Accidental Death.

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