In the mythical Elven world of Altera, an epic battle unfolds between the beautiful Princess Liya and the Dark Elf Elena, who has gained possession of a jewel so powerful it allows its holder complete authority over all Alterans.
Lowly theme park mechanic Sam dreams about his childhood sweetheart Sue. With the misguided belief that only a bling ring can win the girl of his dreams, Sam plans the most perfect night to propose to his one true love. But when supervillain Oscar shows up with an evil scheme involving a ring of his own, Sam's plans are thrown into utter disarray. After mistaking each other's rings for their own, Sam teams up with his robot superheroes to track down his engagement ring and save the city... learning that it's not about the size of the bling, but the size of your heart.
Now, be warned. I am an adult, by which I mean I am over 21. In fact, I'm near 60. And this movie is aimed at children. So, when I give it a craptastic rating, it's because I may not have the same humor level as a 5 year old, regardless of what my wife says. The beginning seemed to both of us, the wife and me, to be telling children that in order to be successful and rich, you must be a wealthy man and no woman would be interested in any man who wasn't. It's about a boy, probably around 8 or 7 or some Jimmy Neutron age (ah! That's where I've seen the animation style) who is in love (REALLY?) with a girl around the same age. His inability to say what he wants to ('Sue, I love you, will you marry me?') is what this whole shebang is about.
Scene change to ... oh, I don't know.. 20 years into the future? The time line wasn't explained till way later. Our hero is living in an apartment with a kung-fu monkey, a pig in a cape, and what looks like a frog with ears whose name is Okra. What the what?
Oh... Oh... I get it... they're robots. They work at an amusement park, and hero boy is the guy who invented these autonomous, self aware robots who can smell and eat and fart and blow bubbles. Wow! The future looks so cool!
Okay... that's all I'm gonna say about the plot and pretty much all I'm gonna say about the movie. At this point, I left and watched another episode of House of Cards, just to get the Ick out of my brain.
The wife wanted to take a nap so I put on something boring and innocuous. This movie, for example. So I lied. Sue me. I'm gonna say one more thing about the movie.
There are a few cute moments. Like... umm... James Woods sort of cute. Didn't even recognize the voice, so good on him! I did tear up at the end, but then I'm a sucker for happy endings, even really stupid ones.
Children, especially those who have yet to be fully potty trained, may find this movie partially amusing. Then again, they may just throw their poo at you and ask for something intelligent.
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