Borderlands

First off, I know nothing about a Borderlands game. I just saw a flashy trailer with some promising stars and thought, sure, I'll give it a go.

A bit surprised to see Cate Blanchett in it... could she pull off a badass, wise-cracking bounty hunter? Turns out she could - definitely a strong point in the film. Indeed, there was quite a bit of good acting talent in it - AND Kevin Hart. And yet, somehow it all seemed wasted. (Why did they bother with Jack Black?) I quickly accepted the lurid art direction - especially after finding out its game origins. And, not having any comparisons to make, was fine with the cast. But what really let it down was the lazy writing.

I'd even go along with the fairly thin, derivative plotline if it was an enjoyable journey along the way. But the dialogue was a string of tired lines trying to be hip and edgy and falling very flat. Clearly this was intended to be action/comedy - and the action was actually ok - but Eli should have handed over some the comedy content to people with the right skills. I get a lot more laughs out of a late night talk show monologue.

So, while it looked pretty cool - and the fight scene using Motorhead's Ace of Spades sounded cool - ultimately, I just didn't get enough personality from any of the characters to care what happened to them. (With Furiosa a similar-looking movie, it gave me renewed respect for George Miller as a writer/director.)

Whoever let this get re-written and re-shot into PG13 hell should kicking themselves. It needed to be as deranged as the video games. What happened?? This could have been awesome but we got Jumanji without the Rock. (The Rock would've made this worse to be honest.) What I can give it a 4 for is the world-building, action sequences, effects, costumes and props. Not even Cate and Jamie-Lee could breathe life into some of the innane dialogue. Not even Jack Black's cheap CL4P-TP laughs were enough to add another star. I wanted to like this movie but I will stick to playing the games. Unless we somehow magically get that R-rated cut, write this one off.

Oh come on - it's not that bad! True, there isn't an original thought in it's hundred minute duration and it does look like a very poor relation to a video-game, but it's "Mad Max" meets "Buck Rogers" vibe just about entertained me. It's all about "Lilith" (Cate Blanchett) who is a renowned bounty hunter charged by gazillionaire "Atlas" (Edgar Ramirez) with finding his kidnapped daughter "Tina" (Ariana Greenblatt). Thing is, she's already been rescued by "Roland" (Kevin Hart) and is in no great rush to return to the loving arms of daddy. Whilst trying to track her down, "Lilith" encounters the true star of the film - the robot "Claptrap", a sarcastic pile of scrap who decides to help out whether she likes it or not, so off they go a-child-hunting. Yep - it proceeds exactly as you'd expect, except for the frankly bamboozling contribution of Jamie Lee Curtis (and her red glasses) who does look like she's enjoying herself on set but, like Blanchett, is just a complete fish out of water as the banal dialogue and set-piece combat scenes pass the entire project into the hands of the CGI developers. This is nothing at all special or memorable, just a predictable action enterprise that takes "Robot Wars" to the desert, but if you aim low and take it in the spirit it's clearly intended then it's a perfectly watchable summer adventure.

This adaptation strips everything that was fun about the Borderlands games.

The plot is as generic as they come. Even the 'shocking twist' was laughable.

The jokes mostly don't land. Clap Trap is amusing but nothing to write home about.

Most action scenes are completely unwarranted and seem to serve the short runtime or the absence of plot.

Most of all it seems as though the only that was kept from the original games are the character names and locations.

Not try to gatekeep here, it's just a bad movie. It doesn't hold up even on it's own. So people who came to see the movie not knowing what its about are bound to be disappointed.

I am a HUGE Borderlands fan, but despite how Claptrap looks and the world, there's nothing that would make you scream Borderlands. If you expect the worst movie, you will be dissapointed with a weird but overall fun aftertaste, but if you want to watch this because you are a Borderlands fan, you will want to pitchfork whoever made this, and it's even more shameful since Borderlands games have story, but nothing exceptional. It should be filled with dark humor, or just be true to the games, hell even if they would've done a "SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!" reference I would've gave a 6, but there's nothing. This won't make anyone buy the games, this movie will make people avoid them. Atleast it looks good, and with all the Cinema experience it'a tolerable. I don't want a Sequel, so don't give money to adaptations such as this movie, where the very thing they want to adapt is non-existent besides like some looks.