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Lady Bird (2017) Poster

(2017)

Quotes

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Marion McPherson: I want you to be the very best version of yourself that you can be.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: What if this is the best version?

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Sister Sarah Joan: You clearly love Sacramento.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I do?

Sister Sarah Joan: You write about Sacramento so affectionately and with such care.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I was just describing it.

Sister Sarah Joan: Well it comes across as love.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Sure, I guess I pay attention.

Sister Sarah Joan: Don't you think maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?

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Julie Steffans: Some people aren't built happy, you know.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Different things can be sad... it's not all war!

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: People go by the names their parents give them, but they don't believe in God.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Why can't you say I look nice?

Marion McPherson: I thought you didn't even care what I think.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I still want you to think I look good.

Marion McPherson: Okay, I'm sorry. I was telling you the truth, do you want me to lie?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No, I mean, I just, I wish that you liked me.

Marion McPherson: Of course I love you.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: But do you like me?

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: The only thing exciting about 2002 is that it's a palindrome.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I found when it happened that I really like dry humping more.

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[last lines]

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Hi Mom and Dad, it's me, Christine. It's the name you gave me. It's a good one. Dad, this is more for Mom. Hey, Mom, did you feel emotional the first time that you drove in Sacramento? I did and I wanted to tell you, but we weren't really talking when it happened. All those bends I've known my whole life, and stores, and the whole thing. But I wanted to tell you I love you. Thank you, I'm... thank you.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Just because something looks ugly doesn't mean that it's morally wrong.

Casey Kelly: You think dead children aren't morally wrong?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No. I'm just saying that, if you took up close pictures of my vagina while I was on my period, it would be disturbing but it doesn't make it wrong.

Casey Kelly: Excuse me?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Listen, if your mother had had the abortion, we wouldn't have to sit through this stupid assembly!

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I was on top! Who the fuck is on top their first time!

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Larry McPherson: You're not gonna get in a car with a guy that honks, are ya?

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Kyle Scheible: You're gonna have so much unspecial sex in your life.

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Sister Sarah Joan: Six inches for the Holy Spirit.

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Julie Steffans: Miss Patty assigned you a role by the way, you just never showed up to claim it.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: What role ?

Julie Steffans: The Tempest.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: There is no role of the Tempest!

Julie Steffans: It is the titular role!

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No! It's a made-up thing so we all can participate.

Julie Steffans: You can't do anything unless you're the center of attention, can you!

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah, well you know, your mom's tits, they're fake! Totally fake!

Julie Steffans: She made one bad decision at 19!

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Two bad decisions!

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I hate California, I want to go to the east coast. I want to go where culture is like, New York, or Connecticut or New Hampshire.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Hey.

[pause]

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I like your band. With Jonah Ruiz? L'Enfance Nue?

Kyle Scheible: [in french accent] L'Enfance Nue.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Uh. Well, I saw your Thanksgiving show. My name's Lady Bird.

Kyle Scheible: It's weird you shake hands.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah.

[pause]

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I'm friends with Jenna and she's always talking about how great your band is so I wanted to check it out.

Kyle Scheible: Yeah, Jenna's hella tight.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah.

Kyle Scheible: Maybe I'll see you at the Deuce or something?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Sure, see you at the Deuce.

Miguel McPherson: Hey, I'm not paying you to flirt.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: [exhales] I wasn't flirting.

Kyle Scheible: I wish you had been.

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Marion McPherson: Money is not life's report card. Being successful doesn't mean anything in and of itself. It just means that you're successful. But that doesn't mean that you're happy.

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Parish Priest: We're afraid that we will never escape our past. We're afraid of what the future will bring. We're afraid we won't be loved, we won't be liked. And we won't succeed.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Are you and Mom gonna get a divorce over this?

Larry McPherson: No. We can't afford to.

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Larry McPherson: Hey, I'm like Keith Richards. I'm just happy to be anywhere.

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Danny O'Neill: Your mom is crazy, I'm scared of her.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: She's not crazy she just, you know, she has a big heart. She's very warm.

Danny O'Neill: I don't find your mother warm.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You don't?

Danny O'Neill: No. No, she's warm, yeah but she's also kind of scary.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Well you can't be scary and warm.

Danny O'Neill: I think you can, your mom is.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You're gay!

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Kyle Scheible: What you do is very baller. You're very anarchist.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah. Fuck'em.

Kyle Scheible: Don't worry, I'm not gonna snitch on you.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Well, I hope not 'cause I'd fucking kill your family.

Kyle Scheible: What?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Sorry. I... that was an exaggeration.

Kyle Scheible: It's okay. My dad has cancer, so I guess God's doing that for us.

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Kyle Scheible: I didn't lose my virginity to you.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Wait, what?

Kyle Scheible: I lost my virginity to Cassie Duvall

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Excuse me? You said you were a virgin

Kyle Scheible: No I didn't. Cause I'm not. And I haven't lied in 2 years

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Uh, Its my parents number.

Kyle Scheible: You don't have a cellphone?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No

Kyle Scheible: Good girl. The government didn't have to put tracking devices on us. We bought them and put them on ourselves.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I don't own a tracking device

Kyle Scheible: No, no, no. The cellphones. You see?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Wow

Kyle Scheible: Yeah I know. I mean, you'll have one eventually. Everyones gonna have one. And then, it'll be a matter of time.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Before what?

Kyle Scheible: Before they out them in our brains.

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Marion McPherson: If you're tired, we can sit down.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I'm not tired.

Marion McPherson: Oh, okay. I just couldn't tell because you were dragging your feet.

Marion McPherson: [Lady Bird rolls her eyes] Well, I just couldn't tell.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Why didn't you just say "pick up your feet"?

Marion McPherson: I didn't know if you were tired.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You're being passive aggressive.

Marion McPherson: No, I wasn't.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You are SO INFURIATING!

Marion McPherson: Please stop yelling.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I'm not yelling.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: [Marion picks out a pink dress] Oh, it's perfect!

Marion McPherson: Do you love it?

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Diana Greenway: I heard that before he became a priest, he was married, and had a son named Etienne, who died at 17 of a drug overdose, which maybe was a suicide. But my mom says same difference, if you're that careless with your life.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You know, you can touch my boobs, right?

Danny O'Neill: I know. It's just that I respect you too much for that.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Cool. Awesome. I totally get that. Thank you.

Danny O'Neill: You're welcome.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: If you had boobs, I wouldn't touch them either.

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Julie Steffans: What about terrorism?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Don't be republican.

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Marion McPherson: We don't need to buy that.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: It's only three dollars. I'm having a hard week.

Marion McPherson: Well, if you wanna read it, we can go down to the public library.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I wanna read it in bed.

Marion McPherson: That's something that rich people do. We're not rich people.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: It's normal to not touch a penis

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: The only exciting thing about 2002 is that it's a palindrome.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I just don't get why I'm not good at math. My dad is really good at math. Even Miguel has a math degree.

Julie Steffans: Maybe it's your mom's fault.

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Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: If Danny and I get married and then his grandma died, I'd inherit the dream house.

Julie Steffans: Wouldn't his parents get it?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Oh yeah, we'd have to kill them. And we'd have to kill his older brothers too.

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Julie Steffans: some people aren't built happy, you know

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Julie Steffans: You can't do anything unless you're the center of attention!

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Sister Sarah Joan: Some of the students were disturbed by your posters.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: It's just a bird head in a lady body, or vice versa.

Sister Sarah Joan: I think it's a little upsetting.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: It's my tradition to run for office. Don't worry. I won't win.

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NYC Nurse: What do you want us to do? She's drunk.

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[Lady bird is angry with Kyle]

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Are we still going to prom together?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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