The Emoji Movie (2017)
User ReviewsReview this title
"Oh, but Galán, you're just not part of the film's target audience!"
I know that, but I'm also not part of the target audience for the films it rips off (Well I was when they came out) and I still enjoy them. Sony cancelled the Popeye movie for this, and the Popeye movie looked like it had more effort put into it, it looked more promising. I luckily didn't have to pay to see it, but to the fellows who rated 1 star and had to pay, I'm sorry.
So the only things I liked were the animation, and that the teens looked like actual teens rather than twenty-something year olds (while they cast adults to play teens in live-action teen movies, I've seen some animation where the teens still look like adults).
But let's start from the obvious. This film contained two game tutorials and three demonstrations. You can practically see a little four year old thinking about how great Dropbox is as they watch this excuse for a motion picture.
You would assume a movie to be enjoyable, artistic, original, and funny. The Emoji Movie is none of these things. Absolutely unoriginal - a typical story about someone who doesn't fit in. None of the jokes in this entire movie even made me smile. It is an insult to the arts. When you put all that I have said together, you can assume that it was not enjoyable either.
I beg you not to pay to have one hour and thirty-one minutes of your life wasted.
Of course, they wouldn't spend too much: Minions, a product almost as artless as this one, cost $74 million and runs for 91 minutes. In comparison, The Emoji Movie cost $50 mil and runs for 86 minutes. A 91-minute-long Emoji Movie would cost a mere $52.91 million; Sony cares less than the company that brought us screaming yellow screen- fever. They threw as little as they could at it.
But that's just the math. In order to fully appreciate how apocalyptic this wretched insult to all things sincere is, consider the following; You, the assumed person seeking entertainment, go to the movie theater expecting to take a break or have fun. And while the blatant advertising (Dropbox is an important plot point, there's a pointless scene with Just Dance, apps all around etc.) and banality may be entertainingly laughable, the very same slithery gargoyles that gave you this product get the money. They count their cash, and they think "Hey, that worked."
So they give you more of the same thing. And more of it. And more, until the idiocy is familiar and the ads the norm. It's already happened to music, with the same notes and lyrics repeated over and over again. Here we have the same situation staring us down, except instead of ass and cash the contents are something else they're trying to sell you.
The Emoji Movie is an ad that you pay to see. Of course product placement already exists in film. The Lego Movie and Toy Story both feature products as characters, but those films had heart and personality. Here, there is nothing but product placement. Anything resembling humanity is just padding for the next app to appear. How vile for a product that constantly tells you to "express yourself."
Do not watch this thing. Don't bring your kids to see it. Don't watch it ironically. Whatever your beliefs, biases, intentions, anything, do not give companies the thumbs up to feed us mediocre, heartless drivel.
Hidden inside a smartphone, the bustling city of Textopolis is home to all emojis. Each emoji has only one facial expression, except for Gene, an exuberant emoji with multiple expressions. Determined to become "normal" like the other emojis, Gene enlists the help of his best friend Hi-5 and a notorious code breaker called Jailbreak. During their travels through the other apps, the three emojis discover a great danger that could threaten their phone's very existence.
The theater was crowded with people (especially with children and their parents) who despite of the extremely low ratings and the bad reviews challenged and saw this entertaining and hilarious movie.
The film centers on Gene, a multi-expressional emoji who lives in a teenager's phone, and who sets out on a journey to become a normal meh emoji like his parents.
My son Muhammad and I laughed and saw this movie too entertaining for kids and adults and the thing that convinces us to see despite the unstoppable attack on it is that it has already reached number 1 in the US Box Office and that many open-minded people did not believe the malicious hatred against a quality movie like this.
The DVD and Blu-Ray sales are going to be OFF THE CHARTS! I would suggest pre-ordering whatever deluxe steelbook 4k edition now as to not disappointment little Bobby or Suzie on Christmas morning. In the meantime, I would suggest multiple rewatches. Heck, find a homeless person and take them with you to see this film. It is so awesome and life-changing that when they are through witnessing this triumph of entertainment, the will no longer be a hobo.
I really wish I had more stars to give.
Emojis, yeah, I don't like them. But I still appreciate this movie.
My grandchildren will watch this, they need to know what does art means.
Excellent animation and dubbing.
Burst out laughing at the theater.
I've almost been banned for laughing that loud.
God, this is possibly the best film ever made.
Best of the year, deserves an Oscar. In all of the categories.
Oh, I really enjoyed every single second of that movie.
You really should watch it.
A Movie to Bring the Real You, For Those Who Urge to find Themselves, Who want To find Them!!!
Watch it, take your family to watch it and then, watch it again.