Prince Derek and Princess Odette adopt a little girl named Alise. Then, Alise gets captured by a group of flying squirrels, who believe that the Swan Princess is evil, according to a ... See full summary »
After mysterious visitors arrive in the Kingdom, Princess Alise, Lucas and their friends go undercover on a secret spy adventure to see if they can be trusted. They will need all of their ... See full summary »
At the age of 35, Ece is the assistant general manager of a company that produces baby diapers. There is a happy relationship with her lover Alper. Because of Ece, they can not get married.... See full summary »
Ata Berk Mutlu
Princess Odette, Prince Derek and their trusted woodland friends return for their first Christmas celebration! But, with the villainous Rothbart striving to destroy Christmas itself, will ... See full summary »
Tim Avery, an aspiring cartoonist, finds himself in a predicament when his dog stumbles upon the mask of Loki. Then after conceiving an infant son "born of the mask", he discovers just how looney child raising can be.
The Emoji Movie unlocks the never-before-seen secret world inside your smartphone. Hidden within the messaging app is Textopolis, a bustling city where all your favorite emojis live, hoping to be selected by the phone's user. In this world, each emoji has only one facial expression - except for Gene, an exuberant emoji who was born without a filter and is bursting with multiple expressions. Determined to become "normal" like the other emojis, Gene enlists the help of his handy best friend Hi-5 and the notorious code breaker emoji Jailbreak. Together, they embark on an epic "app-venture" through the apps on the phone, each its own wild and fun world, to find the Code that will fix Gene. But when a greater danger threatens the phone, the fate of all emojis depends on these three unlikely friends who must save their world before it's deleted forever.Written by
Sony Pictures Entertainment
If I was God, and I heard this product was not only being made, not only being promoted, but actually released, then I would invite Satan over to manage the heavens so I could personally eradicate my failure below. This is the sort of product - because this is not truly a movie, as the word "movie" is too suggestive of art - that corporations fawn over. And they did. Believe it or not, three major production studios *fought* to make this happen.
Of course, they wouldn't spend too much: Minions, a product almost as artless as this one, cost $74 million and runs for 91 minutes. In comparison, The Emoji Movie cost $50 mil and runs for 86 minutes. A 91-minute-long Emoji Movie would cost a mere $52.91 million; Sony cares less than the company that brought us screaming yellow screen- fever. They threw as little as they could at it.
But that's just the math. In order to fully appreciate how apocalyptic this wretched insult to all things sincere is, consider the following; You, the assumed person seeking entertainment, go to the movie theater expecting to take a break or have fun. And while the blatant advertising (Dropbox is an important plot point, there's a pointless scene with Just Dance, apps all around etc.) and banality may be entertainingly laughable, the very same slithery gargoyles that gave you this product get the money. They count their cash, and they think "Hey, that worked."
So they give you more of the same thing. And more of it. And more, until the idiocy is familiar and the ads the norm. It's already happened to music, with the same notes and lyrics repeated over and over again. Here we have the same situation staring us down, except instead of ass and cash the contents are something else they're trying to sell you.
The Emoji Movie is an ad that you pay to see. Of course product placement already exists in film. The Lego Movie and Toy Story both feature products as characters, but those films had heart and personality. Here, there is nothing but product placement. Anything resembling humanity is just padding for the next app to appear. How vile for a product that constantly tells you to "express yourself."
Do not watch this thing. Don't bring your kids to see it. Don't watch it ironically. Whatever your beliefs, biases, intentions, anything, do not give companies the thumbs up to feed us mediocre, heartless drivel.
485 of 870 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?
| Report this