Reminds me of a dog that I once had. It was a mangy old thing. And I am a cruel bastard, so I would whip it every which way. I'd beat on him just for looking at me. So, I figure if you hate on something for long enough, well, he just comes to love you anyway, just for those few moments when you don't.
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The main-on-end credits appear as graffiti scrawled onto various surfaces, alongside a variety of obscenities. See more »
All of it's strengths cannot save it
It's been a long time since I saw a film that had so many strengths but was still such a bad movie. It was confusingly un-entertaining. I really wanted to like it but it was pretty much impossible. Fronted by 1917 star George MacKay, sporting a ripped bod and a dope mullet, I was hoping this movie would "flow through me like wine", but it did quite the opposite. There were really only a couple standout sequences in the entire film and those were towards the beginning, both featuring a bloated Russell Crowe clearly traumatizing a young boy, and one featuring swoon-prince Charlie Hunnam. Crowe disappears from the film after that. The movie also opens with Charlie Hunnam getting orally copulated if you just want to see that. It's not worth it though, trust me.
The filmmaking was somewhat stylish. The environments were lush and striking. The performances were all rather intense and jarring, BUT... the story... what is happening with the story? Why do we care? Why is it over 2 hours long when there is literally no story? It's not a real moody film either, so that's no excuse. It's no surreal dreamscape. I don't know what the people who wrote this thing were thinking but it's nearly impossible to "follow" because the majority of the dialogue is uninteresting and either barely relevant or completely irrelevant. There is not much to follow. I dunno what else to say but it was real bad, so bad that my girlfriend and I stopped caring and just made out through most of the ending - and we don't do that, ever. We are FILM FANS, TOTALLY CRAZY ABOUT CINEMA.
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