Dr. Lawrence Jacoby: It's seven o'clock! Do you know where your freedom is? Coming to you live and electrified from Studio A, high atop the escarpments of White Tail Peak. The roof, roof-roof, of the American Hindukush. This is Dr. Amp, doing the vamp for liberty, climbing the ramp to justice, and lighting the lamp of freedom. So, what's on your mind tonight? I mean, you know I'm gonna tell you what's on mine. We're sinking down deep in the mud, and the fucks are at it again! The same, vast, global corporate conspiracy! Different day. You can't see it without a cosmic flashlight. Guess what? I got one. Oh, yeah. And its beam, it penetrates the igneous rock of ignorance. It flips that rock over, and there they are, exposed, wriggling, squirming, crawling on their bellies like foul maggots, frantically racing back to the cover of darkness that they so crave. We're coming for you. Yeah, we're coming for you! Let's just see what they're cooking up today. Know the ingredients. Just read what's on the box, in fact, read between the lines. What's lurking in that toaster waffle, those muffins, that frozen children's treat? Poisons! Deadly poisons! That's what's there. And what's waiting for you? Cancer! Leukemia! Auto-immune disorders! Pulmonary embolism! Warts! Psoriasis! Eczema! Cardiac arrest! Where are the cops when we need them? Anorexia, body image bullshit, microbial toxins, bacterial toxins, environmental toxins! Our air, our water, our earth! The very soil itself. Our food! Our bodies poisoned! Poisoned!
Dr. Lawrence Jacoby: That's huckleberry extract in clean, boiled water from the pure artesian springs of White Tail Peak. Yeah, fuck that acai berry shit from the Amazone! In the immortal words of Pete Seeger, "if I had a hammer"... Guess what? I've got a hammer!
[picks up a hammer and hits a shovel]
Dr. Lawrence Jacoby: You must see, hear, understand, and act. Act now!