Dog Eat Dog

Fast cuts, split scenes, violence, profanity and drugs have been the go-to recipe for below average Guy Ritchie-esque films since 1998. While that particular film had a fantastic story, Dog Eat Dog clearly lacks in that department. Here we, again, get the overdue Cage in his stereotypical suit and tie, handing out wisecracks, being the smart guy (hint: boring) coupled with a few half naked tattooed chicks and plenty of rough looking ex-cons. Add drugs and what could go wrong, right? Another reviewer stated the film was 'unfunny and stupid' and I couldn't agree more. The whole thing feels like some old movie executives googled 'cool' and tried to make a movie from the words that came up. Thirty minutes into the film the actors have made references to Facebook, eBay and Elliot Smith. You know, to connect with the kids, yo. Possibly because nothing in this film will appeal to anyone above fifteen years of age. Also, the voice-over is always a dead giveaway for a plot that's too thin or convoluted you simply have to get it spelled out for you – or it doesn't make any sense. An utter waste of time. And by the way, how did Willem Dafoe get tangled up in this mess? Hardly worth downloading.