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Title: Yoga Hosers (2016)
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Lily-Rose Depp | ... | Colleen Collette | |
| Harley Quinn Smith | ... | Colleen McKenzie | |
| Adam Brody | ... | Ichabod | |
| Harley Morenstein | ... | Toilet Paper Man | |
| Ashley Greene | ... | 'Peg Mom | |
 |
Jack Depp | ... | 'Peg Son |
| Austin Butler | ... | Hunter Calloway | |
| Tyler Posey | ... | Gordon Greenleaf | |
| Jennifer Schwalbach Smith | ... | Ms. McKenzie (as Jennifer Schwalbach) | |
| Justin Long | ... | Yogi Bayer | |
| Tony Hale | ... | Bob Collette | |
| Natasha Lyonne | ... | Tabitha | |
| Genesis Rodriguez | ... | Ms. Wicklund | |
| Vanessa Paradis | ... | Ms. Maurice | |
| Haley Joel Osment | ... | Adrien Arcand | |
Set in the Great White North of Canada, YOGA HOSERS tells the story of Colleen Collette and Colleen McKenzie - two teenage besties from Winnipeg who spend their lives doing Yoga with their faces in their phones, 'Liking' or 'Not Liking' the real world around them. But when these Sophomore girls are invited to a Senior party by the school hottie, the Colleens accidentally uncover an ancient evil, long buried beneath the Manitoba earth.
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Now when I first saw the trailer to Kevin Smith's (Clerks, Dogma) Yoga Hosers I was a little surprised. Now for those who have not seen the trailer for this film, and are asking yourself "What the Hell are some Yoga Hosers?" The trailer focuses on the two Canadian girls from Smith's last film, Tusk. Who work at a convenience store, and encounter Nazi sausages. Seriously. When I saw the trailer, my immediate instinct reaction was "What the f*ck?" It wasn't that what the f*ck with anger, it wasn't what the f*ck with confusion, it really was just a simple what the f*ck. Now I love Kevin Smith films. He always seemed like a cool person, he is well spoken, writes scripts with compelling characters and story, and he seems like the kind of guy you could easily talk with. His last film Tusk, in my opinion was his worst film. The films plot was there and it sounded great. What I personally didn't enjoy was the pace of the film and the characters. At least that film had a story wrapped around in it. Most people, including myself love the art form of filmmaking and movies for two main reasons. That being a story the audience can connect to and characters and audience can connect to. In my opinion, Yoga Hosers has very little story, with characters an audience cannot connect to, it isn't that funny, it's annoying, and I personally didn't get it.
I do not know if Kevin Smith made this film to mess with critics, the media, and fans. Or is he just this bad of a filmmaker now? Sadly, out there in the world there really is an individual who has a film script. A film script with story, compelling characters, a story that is a breath of fresh air, and a script that is really written with heart. Unfortunately, we may never have a chance to see it, because Kevin Smith had to bring us f*cking Yoga Hosers.
Sorry Ah-Boot That
I don't know where to start with this film. For God's sake, there is even a Marvel cameo of Stan Lee in this! I didn't go into this movie thinking it was terrible. I saw it on Netflix, went in with a clear unbiased mind, and 80 minutes later I'm shocked. The one good part of this movie is Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp. Those two actually to capture the spirit of Clerks in a way. I found them to be a little funny. But the rest of it is just bad acting and really bad Canadian jokes. They run the same joke into the ground over and over and over and over again. I didn't know it was possible to offend and be prejudice towards Canadians. After seeing this movie, well Goddamn it is possible if you're Kevin Smith. We f*cking get it, Canadians say EH (A) ever so often. When they say about, sometimes it sounds like they are saying Ah- boot. At first it is a chuckle. After that, it is just sad; the whole movie is Eh and Ah-boot!
That damn title card pops up every ten minutes when they introduce a character is bad! It looks like a want to be Scott Pilgrim and Suicide Squad.The cast is talented, but the story and they way it's written is completely ridiculous. Pucky Charms cereal ever ten minutes in your face, terrible Canadian slang jokes, looks like a 1990s video game in 2016, and this is the director of Clerks, Dogma, and Chasing Amy. There is no way in Hell this movie was made seriously, it is clearly a joke. A joke I personally do not find funny.
This film is worse than Tusk. If you enjoyed it, I am more than glad you did. Maybe I just don't get the joke. Kevin Smith's down dude since day one is in this, Mr. Jason Mewes! And even he is in this for two minutes, with the look on his face like yeah I don't need this right now. Really it is a shame, it's a mess, and I will always like and respect Kevin Smith. But recently his work, his legacy, his films have gone so far down the sh*tter I don't think he can cleanly come back up. Sorry Ah-boot that, yeah you should be sorry for this sh*t you call a movie!
I believe this "movie" earns a
2 out of 10.
Worst Kevin Smith film.