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Send In The Clowns
roode9371 October 2016
I dig Rob Zombie films. Devils Rejects, the Halloween reboots, Lords of Salem…all personal favorites. So much so that I contributed $150 to the crowd funding of 31. It was promised to be the movie RZ wanted to make as well as the movie he thought his fans wanted to see - an unapologetic and uncompromising slaughter-fest. Well, I finally watched 31 last night and unfortunately it does compromise and it isn't even much of a slaughter-fest. It's simply another "we-kidnapped-some-innocent-people-for-the-purpose-of-torturing-them" retread. And not a very good one at that. I'm bummed.

There are certainly moments that make 31 worth watching. But those moments just aren't enough to make it a good movie. Much of the criticism of 31 has been directed at the lack of character development. My comment to that is "who cares?". This is a movie where I wanted to sink into my seat and cover my eyes due to the extreme and unrelenting gore. I wanted to feel like I did when I first saw Dawn of The Dead in theaters in 1980 - unable to look, but unable to look away…utterly horrified by images I'd never seen before…walking out exhilarated, out of breath, and laughing at myself for being so freaked out by a movie. If anyone could do it, Rob could.

Alas, most of 31 is just another quick-cut, shaky-cam exercise that does manage to force the viewer to look away - just not out of disgust, but to keep from getting a headache from the excessively annoying hand-held shots and machine-gun editing. More often than not, you can't even tell what's going on in the action scenes. There are lots of half second images of blood- soaked faces, and blood-soaked clothing, and blood-soaked weapons…but we can't tell who's getting chopped up and who's doing the chopping.

31 opens with a monologue from villainous clown Doom Head. It's a great scene that draws you in. The idea that he was, of course, going to show up again by the end of the film was the only thing that kept me from walking out. He does show up in the final 15 minutes, but it's too little, too late. It was already to the point where I couldn't care less what happened to these people and I knew however the inevitable deaths were played out wasn't going to be anything interesting or inventive. I was right. In between the opening and closing Doom Head bookends there is absolutely nothing of interest. A little unsuccessful character development…silly villains that are far too easy for our heroes to kill…pompous ringmasters that add nothing and could have been cut out completely…it all made me want my $150 back.

I assume there will be an unrated version somewhere down the line that I'll watch and re- evaluate, but I can't imagine it saving this waste of fake blood and Malcolm McDowells talent. If you want to see an interesting, scary clown movie try 2014's Clown (he eats children!) …if you want gut-wrenching gore watch the Evil Dead remake again. The only reason to see 31 is it's an RZ flick and to be properly schooled in modern horror you need to see all RZ offerings - at least for now. A few more throwaways like this and Rob will just be another straight to Netflix hack director.
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Do not pay to see this
bwhelveston16 September 2016
I'll start by saying this, I know there are some that will claim "He wasn't going for a traditional scary movie. People that don't like it just don't understand his perspective." I'm sure that in all of the conversations they had with Mr. Zombie these points were covered and clearly they have a much better understanding than anyone else. This review is for those that have been excited about seeing this because Rob Zombie's pieces in the past have had that intense shock factor and were delivered very well. Unfortunately, this one does not. It is kind of sadistic and if you put yourself in the position of one of these actors you can imagine it would probably be terrifying. Then again, you wouldn't use poorly scripted cheesy lines and engage in badly choreographed fights. Personally, I have been looking forward to this film since I first heard about it last year and have kept myself up on the release date so as soon as it was available I could treat myself to it. I couldn't have been more disappointed. I thoroughly enjoyed his other films and would watch another if he made it. I realize fanatic Zombie lovers will disagree with me when I say this but for every one that like it there will be several that don't. I can't decide which was worse: the ending or the overall acting. I must give credit where credit is due, the intro is entertaining and you will probably enjoy Doom Head (the guy in the opening scene). Again unfortunately, he is in the movie all of about 10 minutes non-consecutively. Had the movie centered around him and a twisted hunting obsession perhaps I would be writing a very different review. The acting is over-the-top and awful. Not in the same way that some movies are so bad they're good (like Zombeavers or Axe Giant) but more like super low budget projects filmed on an iPhone. For a movie that has reasonably good quality in most scenes I was so let down to see the acting was so unrefined. It probably could have been worse, I'm just not sure how.
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These Clowns Are All Talk And Not Enough Bite
venusboys319 September 2016
I had no anticipation or information about this movie going in... except for it being a Rob Zombie movie and my enjoyment of all his other movies so far. None of them are perfect but none of them are boring, all of them bring something interesting to the table. Not so much with 31 though... One thing I've generally liked with Zombie's movies is that, unlike a lot of horror films such as Hostel - which promise all sorts of transgressive horrors only to bait and switch with some relatively tame eyeball gouging, Zombie's movies generally follow through on their threats. I never feel safe in his movies (except I'm pretty sure Mrs. Zombie's characters will survive to the final frame). Unfortunately, 31 let all the air out of that balloon dog for me. It didn't ever come close to crossing any lines of standardized horror. Oh sure, Its clown's show up and promise all sorts of vile entertainments... but they never materialize. Instead, we get some badly filmed fight scenes and routine kills that could be out of any war/crime/fantasy film. There's little or no suspense, barely any atmosphere outside of the clowns' initial entrances and Malcolm McDowall's nonsensical prattling. The movie takes its time building up 'Doomhead' but what is he but another loudmouthed guy in a clown suit? I assume he'd go down just as easily to a well-aimed blow to the head. There's really nothing special about him except for the amount of time he gets on screen. He even does the loathsome 'golf clap' routine that should be forever banished to Cliché-land. When the clowns do get their hands on someone they're not likely do do anything surprising at all... just stab them and move on. Unless something nastier was edited out of the version I saw... which I kinda doubt.

The carnies themselves had the potential for being the sort of interesting protagonists I'd pull for... and I DID like that they weren't just a bunch of squealing teenagers (Meg Foster especially was fascinating to look at. Older women like her are so seldom allowed on screen in heroic roles). But they're mostly reduced to just goofing around and swearing at each other... maybe it was just bad improv because the writer couldn't think of what to do with them?

This is BY FAR the least interesting thing I've seen come from Mr. Zombie. I'm still a fan of his previous films, I'll still watch whatever he makes next... but this one is the bottom dweller. Not that it's such a bad generic horror movie, as just that alone it's fairly average... but it's certainly a bad Rob Zombie horror movie. And being that, it's pretty disappointing.
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Disappointing from Zombie
sean-rae18 September 2016
to be expected from Rob Zombie, not the best dialogue in the world, unlikable protagonists you want to die, Sheri moon zombie trying and the feeling of wishing he would get to the point. i loved 'House of 1000 corpses' & 'Devil's rejects' is one of my favorite horror films of all time. The only other of Zombie's films that even touches on those films in my opinion is 'Halloween' with the plot of killer clowns playing a totally crazy game of cat and mouse i thought such a simple story arc would be fun and playful horror, But Zombie tries something that i felt just fell flat on it's face. Almost cringy to watch at times, Nazi Clown midgets, c'Mon man... Still a strong director but a terrible writer. This film should be used as evidence to Zombie that he cannot carry a film on his own, if he hired a couple of writers to spoon feed him decent characters for his 'plot' then you could potentially get some decent horror movies. or at least seem satisfying dialogue. or maybe he should just stick to making the antagonist the main point of view, that way the script makes sense. over all, was looking forward to a night of madness , in stead got a student film on crack shot in a sweatshop.
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Unoriginal, Pointless and Awful
claudio_carvalho23 September 2016
In 1976, on the eve of Halloween, an itinerant troupe is forced to stop their truck and attacked by strangers. Charly (Sheri Moon Zombie), Venus Virgo (Meg Foster), Panda Thomas (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs), Levon Wally (Kevin Jackson) and Roscoe Pepper (Jeff Daniel Phillips) survive. They are forced to participate in a sadistic game called "31" for 12 hours, and whoever survives will be released. Soon they are attacked by sadistic killers dressed like clowns. Will someone survive to the "31"?

"31" is an unoriginal pointless awful slasher with an absurd and stupid story. The greatest challenge is not for the group forced to participate, but for the viewer to see this film until the very end. The only thing good to see is the veteran cast with Malcolm McDowell, Judy Geeson ("To Sir with Love") and Meg Foster ("They Live"). Unfortunately they are wasted in a poor story and screenplay. It is better off watching "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" again. My vote is two.

Title (Brazil): Not Available
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boring and bland, with horrible direction.
HorrorFreak199727 September 2016
31 (2016) directed by Rob Zombie is about a group of five carnival workers who are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, hell-like compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.

This being Zombie's sixth full length feature film, it feels like much of the same. same visual style, same vulgar dialogue, same vintage camera filters, and the same lead actress that we are all tired of seeing. it's a real shame that Mr. Zombie cant seem to change up his style and make something fresh, or at least entertaining.

the camera work in 31 (16) is truthfully nothing special, at times though it is awful. it becomes nausea inducing and there are a lot of unnecessary close ups. this paired with some of the most annoying and disorienting editing I have ever seen makes this one a real chore to watch. the story drags on and on at a snails pace with no tension or suspense. this is not an exaggeration. there really is no suspense or tension. the setting had some potential, but due to Zombie's direction we never really get any sense of urgency or claustrophobia or anything like that. all the characters are annoying and unlikable and the acting is just alright, sometimes it really is terrible though. the shock factor isn't even there on this one. Zombie is known for delivering some truly brutal visuals but this film seems pretty tame for a Rob Zombie film.

to conclude my review ill say that 31 (2016) is an awful, boring and dull film with no substance. there really isn't a singular good reason I can think of to watch this movie.

the verdict: 2/10
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I actually did want to like this but...
krb13819 September 2016
I enjoyed Zombie's first two movies. That's about the extent that I can say I am a fan of his in any respect. With that being said, some of the imagery that I had seen leading up to this film had me hoping it would exceed the awful messes that were the Halloween remakes and Lords of Salem. It didn't.

Carnies, the 70's, killer "clowns", and a game that is an amalgamation of better movies (The Running Man, etc). It's not an overly complicated plot, but somehow Rob Zombie was able to make it seem confusing.

Bad acting (particularly from Sheri Moon Zombie, as always), terrible dialogue, and lots of characters with basically no character development. I've read lots of other people say that this is a pointless movie and they are absolutely right. It's watchable, but it's not something I would watch again.

My general thinking at this time is that Rob Zombie is far better suited to be a production artist/set designer than a writer/director.
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It's Nothing New.
BatesMT14 October 2016
Let me just say I like RZ. House of 1k Corpses is great, and The Devil's Rejects is one of my all time favorite films, hands down.

What we have in "31" is an attempt to mash together aspects of TDR and his Halloween remake and the result is a confusing, lackluster ride you've already been on.

The problem is you don't feel for any of the characters. There is not one likable character, sans Doom-Head, who is nearly the only bright spot in this movie. Sherry, was better in this film than in past RZ movies, but that isn't saying much.

Another issue I had was how this was hyped up as maniacs dressed up as clowns, which is great, clowns are creepy right? The concept art for the characters especially Sick-Head and Death-Head were amazing. What we got on screen were absolute jokes compared to what we should have gotten. The all but did away with the clown gimmick especially if you look at the concept art.

The opening scene is by far the best in the movie, and honestly one of the best scenes RZ has ever directed. But don't let it fool you, the rest of the movie goes downhill from there.

As you can expect from a RZ movie, it's got that dirty 70's feel, every other line of dialogue is profanity, more so than usual actually, the setting is run of the mill for RZ, and while I could go on, if you have seen a RZ film, than you have already seen a better version of this film.

The score and soundtrack however are delightful in an otherwise grim movie. RZ needs to get back to basics and let someone help him write his scripts. He's got talent and a good eye, but his dialogue is way too over the top and downright cliché at this point. It takes you out of the movie.
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Another Zombie Letdown
marcwiechmann19 October 2016
As so many others, I too was excited about "31" and could not wait to finally watch it. Maybe it was that high expectations, that was part of my disappointment, but I am not willed to explain everything that was wrong in the movie with that premise.

I have to say, before I write about the movie itself, that I never shared the opinion of those, who see Rob Zombie basically as the horror messiah, who will reinvent the genre. He basically had 2 good movies (Devil's Rejects, Halloween), all other movies were pretty bad. House of 1000 Corpses was a ridiculously bad B-movie, Halloween 2 was bad even for a film school student, and those few parts that were good in Lords of Salem were copied from other movies. First Halloween reboot was only good, because he had a rich franchise with tons of information to build on.

He gets the look every time, I'll give him that, and I won't even make fun about how a grown up man calls himself "Zombie", but the content of his movies is a major letdown every single time. I'd never thought to say this, but in terms of innovative horror movies, I prefer Eli Roth before Zombie every day.

Rob is an awesome musician, and yes, maybe even a good director. But he is an horrible screenplay writer with no idea how to develop characters and dialogues. No wonder, all characters in "31" are superficial clichés with no debt, talking horrible stupid stuff, that is meant to sound smart. The "Doomhead" being so obviously being a Heath Ledger's Joker tribute just confirms that. Basically the most interesting character in the movie is a (bad) rip-off. And did he really need the slo-mo clap? That was so bad, I was close to turn off the TV.

Also,he really should stop to cast his wife for every female lead. If not married to him, she would never have become an actress, at least not in a main role. I don't care if she is hot (I by the way don't think so, she is SO skinny and looks old for her age), I care about acting skills.

Maybe, if Rob could direct a movie with a screenplay written by an experienced and talented writer...? But this way, letting him do whatever he wants, we get movies like "31".

So, the protagonists get abducted and sent into an Arena, to fight to death with some clowns with freaky names (Doomhead, Deathhead, Bashhead, and so on...). That's pretty much all, no more exposition or plot details. Why? No idea, and the movie does not care about explaining anything - being sick is basically it's only excuse and motivation. "Why do they do this?" "Because they have sick minds". "Aha. And why does Doomhead what he does? Does he get paid BIG time?" "Ah, he is sich minded". "What is special about Doomhead at all? To me does not look any more dangerous than the rest of the freaks?" "Ah, he is even sicker as them". And so on. A few freaky characters get shown, some people die, mainly by blade weapons, until an, in my opinion, pretty stupid ending.

Okay, there is some gore in the movie, which I appreciated. I did like the characters, even if superficial - but this made the movie even worse, because you are interested - but don't get any answers or backgrounds.

I also liked the Soundtrack a lot, I love all this 60s and 70s music, and it blended in nicely.

But the overall execution was just bad - ridiculous fighting choreographies, that gave me the impression, everything in this movie was filmed by first take (maybe they wanted to proudly say that they shot the movie in 31 days or something like this), especially the text passages of Sheri Moon Zombies. Man, stop letting her talk - no expression, no motivation, no acting. At all.

So, what can I say? I give 4/10, 4 points for having interesting characters (who never get developed in any way), a good soundtrack, some gore and a good colour correction).

But can I recommend this? Gosh, no, I cannot.

I have still hope for Rob Zombie, and I will see his next movie. But if this will be bad again, I am out of the Zombie business, because by then he will have delivered 3 bad movies in a row - in my world more than enough to lose my respect permanently.

Sorry, Zombie fans - I know you have another opinion and will probably flame me, but this is my personal view. In my eyes, "31" is a disappointing letdown. There could have been so much more, this could have been such a good movie. But for that another director or at least screenplay writer would have been necessary.

Maybe next time.
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Dirty... Gory... Just Blatant White Trash Bumpkin Fun
jacobywarner27 November 2019
As an adherent of the great director Rob Zombie, I am confident in saying that 31 is my favorite film in his portfolio. A story about a group of travelers who are abducted and tormented by an underground society of wealthy individuals who wager on the lives of their victims.

This movie starts off with one of the most amazing monologues in horror film history, when Doom Head (Richard Brake) preaches to one of his victims who just so happens to be a Preacher Man. This scene sets the tone for the dirty gore-fest to follow.

I decided to give this movie an 8/10 because of the rawness that Rob Zombie gives. Plus there is a Hitler little person, what could be better than that?
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Rob Zombie is one sick individual
yankeemvp3 January 2017
Now as someone who isn't a big fan of the horror genre or at least supernatural horror movies I am a bi fan of the saw franchise and those sort of horror movies. Now to get to business, 31 is about a bunch of roadies who play A game of 31 every Halloween . They abduct A group of people and force them to play 31 a game where you have to fight to the death. an interesting take on a not so original story in classic Rob zombie style. If you like Devils rejects you will definitely like this . Very violent and entertaining wish we could get more horror movies like this one. The cast is great like in most of Rob Zomgies movies everyone looks the part . there is no stereo typical pretty boy or even an extremely attractive girl everyone looks normal and fits the part
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In Hell everybody loves popcorn!
Coventry1 April 2016
Here are a couple of things that must have gone through Rob Zombie's mind whilst shooting 31: "Who needs a plot when you got a psychopathic Nazi-midget?", "Who gives a damn about plausibility when you have Malcolm McDowell himself dressed up like a French Aristocrat and depicting a character that is named Father Murder?" and "Why would I make ambitious when the crowd simply wants sadistic & graphic violence?" And you know what? If Rob Zombie really was thinking these things, he was damn right! Personally, I'm an enormous fan of Zombie's "House of 1,000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects" and I remotely enjoyed his remake of "Halloween", even though the critics were quite harsh about it. But then he suddenly went psychedelic and experimental with "Halloween II" and "The Lords of Salem" and many fans – yours truly included – were disappointed. I, for one, was extremely happy to read that, with "31", Rob Zombie would return to the basics of crude and repulsive horror/shlock cinema! Because, after all, the revival of 70s grindhouse/drive-in exploitation cinema was largely the deed of Rob Zombie and not of Quentin Tarantino! So, "31" actually doesn't a have a real plot but is a mixture of homages to genre classics (for example "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre") and borrowed ideas of cult classics ("The Most Dangerous Game", "The Running Man"…)

A ramshackle old RV full of traveling circus artists/carnies is driving through the middle of redneck nowhere on Halloween's day 1976, and pretty much all they ever do is foul-mouthing and fornicating. When night falls, however, they notice the road is blocked with immense scarecrows. Before they properly realize what's going on, the RV and all its passengers are brutally attacked by mysterious creeps and three people are killed instantly. The remaining five survivors, two women and three men, awake tied up and chained in an abandoned factory where three elderly lunatics dressed up as French Aristocrats joyfully inform them that they are the players in this year's traditional game of 31. They are released in a dark and creepy labyrinth and have to survive for twelve hours while being chased by some of the most demented sickos ever caught on film, including a Spanish babbling Nazi-midget, clown siblings with chainsaws and deranged German sex deviants. The group defend themselves quite well, though, and thus the crazy tormentors bring in their ultimate secret weapon, the unbeatable master-psycho Doom-Head!

There isn't really too much to write about Rob Zombie's latest film, in fact. Either you're a fan of extreme and relentless violence and "31" is a must-see for you, or you'll completely detest the film for its lack of plot, character background, style or overall lack of taste. If even writer/director Zombie himself repeatedly stated that this is his most brutal movie to date, there isn't any reason to not believe him. "31" features numerous scenes in which people's heads are smashed in with a bludgeon, torsos are cut in half by chainsaws and throats are slit with rusty knives. Still, I can't help mentioning that most of this gruesome stuff also featured in "House of 1,000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects", but those two were suspenseful and haunting on top! "31" is sheer mindless horror entertainment but it won't leave a long-lasting impression. As usual, Rob Zombie surrounds himself with a cast that he worked well with before, including his own wife Sheri Moon, Meg Foster, Jeff Daniel Philips and many other familiar faces. The soundtrack is terrific as well, which is another Rob Zombie trademark, and features for example the beautiful song "California Dreaming" during a rare quiet and peaceful scene.
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My dog would make the same movie if I tied a camera on its back
matyasinszky30 October 2016
I have been a fan of Rob Zombie's music for two decades. I love several albums he made back in the White Zombie days and he's done cool stuff also as a solo artist. He can absolutely entertain an audience at a rock show, I've seen that for myself. He's even proved to be an accomplished graphic artist. Just go see his drawings in the CD booklet of the White Zombie album Astro Creep 2000!

However, Rob Zombie just cannot make a movie!

By the time The Lords Of Salem was released, I was so disappointed by all of his previous films (especially by his disastrous Halloween remakes) that I have never hurried myself to see that piece of effort - and after suffering through a good chunk of 31, I surely never will. His latest work makes me wonder how could I sit through any of the RZ catalog. I had to stop watching 31 after 40-45 minutes for the simple reason that it is tinkered of nothing but totally incomprehensible frames and scenes. My dog would make the exact same movie if I zoomed a camera to a close- up angle, tied it on the dog's back and put the animal in a very little cage to fight another dog. Lucky for Mr. Zombie, I'm an animal lover and I don't even own a dog. Seriously, no matter how bad the actors are, how terrible the writing and directing is, all should be given an Oscar, compared to the quality of camera work and editing!
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White trash grind-house horror from Rob Zombie. For a change.
BA_Harrison19 September 2016
31 opens with a quote from Kafka. Pretentious, moi? Then some dude wearing white face paint tries to bore another bloke to death by talking a load of old claptrap to him; when that doesn't work, he whacks him with an axe instead. It later transpires that the axe-happy chappie with the bad attitude and teeth to match is Doomhead, one of a group of psychos paid to hunt and kill unwilling participants in an annual game organised by some twisted geriatrics in powdered wigs. In the latest game of 31, a group of carnival folk fight for their lives against a variety of foes, including a Nazi midget, a tall bloke in suspenders and a tutu, and a pair of chainsaw wielding loonies.

Having suffered through both of Rob Zombie's Halloween movies, I approached 31 with trepidation, longing for a return to form for the director who gave us the fun House of 1000 Corpses and the excellent The Devil's Rejects, but expecting the worse. Sadly, Zombie met my expectations: a wafer thin plot that lacks originality (check out Maurice Deveraux's $lasher$ for a much better take on the deadly game-show theme), horrible characters (the protagonists are so scuzzy I actually wanted them to die), trite grind-house affectations, and repetitive, uninspired action made this one a real chore to watch. C'mon Zombie, I know you can do better than this lazy, predictable tosh.
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let's not pretend it goes beyond pretensions
henrykipp6511 January 2017
having recently started rereading EC comics, Eerie, and Creepy, I can't help feeling this is the equivalent of taking an amalgamation of the better black and white carnival stories, doing them in color on glossy*

paper, and flogging them off to today's masses who think when you call something a graphic novel it is literature, and that you should have a suitably erudite opinion with lots of run on sentences and no editing. Nope, this is just a damn fine stroke book. Minimum review is ten lines of text,

*the spellcheck does not recognize the proper tense of calendar in terms of finishing paper, sentence breaks made to emphasize a phrase are condensed back to a no format base, and yet it is acceptable to violate grammar tense and agreement like holes on a sex doll. How did Doom Head keep an unprotected cigar whole in his back pocket?
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expected a lot more!!!
asawa-2008622 October 2016
I am a die-hard movie fan and this is my first review. I was and still am a huge fan of White Zombie. I even heard a song the other day and had to stop to take it in. I saw a copy of House of 1000 Corpses several times before I actually purchased it. I think the title turned me away, I am a huge horror movie fan but seldom does anything truly original come along. House of 1000 Corpses, Devil's Rejects, and the remake of Halloween were all awesome Rob Zombie entries. The first reboot of Halloween I had read that they limited him a bit to keep to the original story. He expanded on it brilliantly giving us more insight on Michael Myers childhood and then letting which was a great update. I think one the things that set his previous films apart is that he established the story around the individuals that you are not supposed to root for and that was refreshing. Getting to know Michael Myers' as a child and seeing a bit of what makes him tick and the story in his early films following the "crazy" people instead of the victim have been awesome, you actually start to root for the baddies for awhile. In to this film though! I am sorry to say that Rob Zombie tried to use part of his formula that worked so well for him in earlier films, and I really did want to like it, but I did not. It had that early 70's gritty horror film look in the beginning. So on to this film, it was not great, it was not even good. It did not establish anything new. It did not take on the view of the killers, the formula that made his films really good. It had a few moments of the gritty 70's feel in the beginning but quickly turned into a run of the mill crap-fest. Mr. Zombie please return to the thought process that made your films cutting edge and made us want to watch them...the guy stomping around "This is hell, this is Hell!" or this "Who's your daddy!" not this crap.
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Extremely Disappointing
iancampbell-7634817 October 2016
I had high hopes for this movie after seeing the trailer several months ago, but this was a huge letdown. Almost couldn't believe it was from the same guy who brought us Devils Rejects, as that is one of my all time favorites movies, and RZ's best in my opinion. Plot just isn't there, the acting is terrible, the story line barely follows anything. Definitely glad I did not pay to see this in theaters. I remember reading a while back before this was made that RZ was looking to have this crowdfunded, but this just goes to show that you can only do so much with a $1.5M budget. I was especially excited after I saw that this came back as NC-17 twice before finally getting an R rating, but that didn't help this film either. Nothing can help this film. This was REALLY bad.
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Imperfectly Perfect
davidpro-080285 September 2016
OK so every fan of House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects begged for another film like those. We begged and we begged, we said do a prequel, do an origin story, just give us more of this type of movie. And RZ delayed it, he gave us Halloween reboots, he took a risk and gave us the witch horror version of a Clockwork Orange in Lords of Salem, he even gave us an adult Scooby-do with El SuperBeasto, he took to TV and direct an episode of CSI, literally he gave us a look at other works, but we kept begging for another 1000. And understandably so, those 2 films can be argued that they changed horror films, the villains were glorified and loved. Sheri Moon's acting of Baby was so awesome, 9 out of 10 men would still pick Baby up knowing she was taking them to the house of 1000, the one that wouldn't, well he doesn't like women, Otis was off the chain, totally insane and Capt Spaulding will forever be an icon and should be listed as one of the greatest horror villain in history.

So when I see people complaining that 31 doesn't give us anything new, I'm kind of frustrated, we asked, no begged for this film. I agree it is nothing ground breaking, but RZ already broke the ground originally here. I look at this film more as a favor to the fans. RZ continues to want to direct and write new, different films, but we keep begging for more. So much in fact we helped fund raise for this film, expecting exactly what it was.

Is the film perfect, hell no, it's completely imperfect. It is pure evil, as was House and Devil's.

This is exactly what fans of those movies wanted. A fact paced, blood hammering, film that give us new villains to love.

It is perfectly imperfect.

Now, consider my taste for the past movies filled, as I personally am ready to move on and see the next chapter of creativity from RZ.
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Saw With Rednecks; Zombie's Worst Yet
Michael_Elliott1 September 2016
31 (2016)

* (out of 4)

A group of carnival workers are on their way to a job when they are kidnapped by psychotic clowns. Once chained up in a building, Father Murder (Malcolm McDowell) informs them that they're going to play a game, which will last twelve hours. They can either survive or face the worst death possible from his killer clowns.

Rob Zombie's 31 is a film that he's highly been promoting and this includes before it was even made. There was a teaser poster released and fans helped get the movie made but the plot of the film was kept secret and it's easy to see why because there's not much of one. Sadly, what we've basically got is SAW but with the redneck/white trash types that we've seen in every Zombie movie up to this point. Sadly this here turns out to be the director's worst film.

31 has all sorts of problems with it and a majority of them are the same issues I've had with his previous movies. For starters, the characters are all just annoying to the point where you don't really care whether they live or die. I'm not sure why it's so hard for their to be a likable character in one of Zombie's films but if you don't have anyone to root for what's the point? Well, I guess it could be one of those movies where you root for the villains but that's impossible here too because the villains are all boring and just not that interesting. Heck, they're not even "clowns" but just the typical rednecks but with face paint.

Another problem that I had with this film is that it's simply not scary. As was the case in THE LORDS OF SALEM, Zombie tries to build up tension and suspense but it just fails. There's just nothing here that draws you into the story and when you're watching a film like this and there's no tension it just leads to pure boredom. Even worse is some of the lighting because there are times where you can't see what's going on and other times when lights are flashing at the camera and whatever effect they were going for just doesn't work.

Zombie promised that this here would be his most violent movie and I don't think that was the case either. A lot of the violence is off screen or just not nearly as brutal as he has delivered in the past. The performances are pretty much what they are with everyone doing a decent enough of a job. The music selection is good and I will say that there was one good sequence inside a cage with a chainsaw. Still, there's just no way around it but Zombie just isn't impressing me as a director. 31 could have been done countless other ways and any of them would have been better than what we got.
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Did not enjoy this movie did have decent moments but that's it...
lev-nemkin26 September 2016
Here is what I'll say about 31 this movie wasn't good I didn't enjoy it to me it was just too goofy in a way I mean some of the acting was good and it had some decent kills but that was about it. Another thing that annoyed me about this is that Sheri Moon Zombie was in this again...why does Rob Zombie always cast his wife? She is a good actress but come on mix it up a little. This movie was too simple for me too it didn't make you think unlike Lords of Salem I mean I didn't like that too much either but at least it made me think it was twisted in that sense. He put the least effort into this movie I'm not even going to bother going into any details. I liked Jeff Daniel Phillips and Meg Foster this was my first time seeing her in anything his first 3 movies were good then to me it started to feel like he lost his way a little and didn't know what the hell he was making and this really did prove it.
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One of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure to view
bobvans21 September 2016
I'm a fan of Zombie's other work and music, but this movie is terrible. like not even B quality, more like D. I can't imagine there is an actual living person out there that liked this movie. It's not even "Good because it's so bad." There will be no cult status ever attributed to this film, it sucks, and he needs to stop using his wife in everyone of his films. The idea/plot could have been fine if someone else directed it and there were entirely new actors cast. The "bad guys" weren't scary, they were pathetic unimaginative cliché ripoffs of things past. I have never bothered to comment on any bad movie I've seen, I just thought to myself "well, that was terrible." This movie was so bad I made an account to inform others what a colossal waste of time watching it is.
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Why a 7?
kzucc-3727915 November 2019
I'm a zombie fan. I held off on 31 from the reviews. I saw 3 from hell and wanted to convince myself the Rob Zombie I know and love still had it in him. This wasn't about character work or plot, this was about giving fans the brutal zombie film they wanted him to make. And it worked. Is it perfect? No. It isnt meant to be. This is a love letter to the fans. The only reason I have it a 7 is because the R version very clearly holds back, and I blame the MPAA for not having the guts to let the masses choose for themselves what they want to see. Hopefully the unrated version surfaces for us fans that just wanted to let go, let our brains turn to mush, and enjoy the mindless imagery and sheer violence on screen. I'm glad I finally saw 31, as it washed the awful taste of 3 from hell out of my mouth. I'm still with you Rob, keep em coming. And if you ever read this? Forget the fireflies now, give us more Doom Head.
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Another Zombie turd.
Greenzombidog14 October 2016
When we were kids my cousin and I would play in the woods. One time we were out there and my cousin disappeared for a while. When he came back he said "You've got to see this, I have just done the biggest turd you have ever seen". So I went to take a look and it was true, it was massive from such a small child and it had this annoying fly buzzing all around it. Well watching a new Rob Zombie film is like going to see my cousins turd. I'm amazed that he's made this but as I expected it's just a pile of crap. Also I'll use the fly as a metaphor for Sheri Moon Zombie aimlessly buzzing around this steaming pile in the most annoying way.

Unlike almost every other review on here that starts with " I loved House of a thousand corpses and Devils rejects" I didn't love those movies. I was bitterly disappointed with House and thought Devils rejects was just a gore stained collection of stolen ideas. I preferred his Lords of Salem and to a lesser degree Halloween 2. They at least seemed to show Zombie had some kind of voice as a director.

31 is such a simple idea that I can't understand how it could go so wrong. There is little to no character development for our protagonists. The "action" is filmed in such a way it lacks any excitement and the movie is paced so badly it becomes a bore. The character of Doom head which many are saying is the saving grace was just loaded with the terrible direlogue Zombie is now infamous for. With no cohesive character or personality traits to make him believable I just didn't feel it, it didn't work for me. I did enjoy seeing Meg Foster again and thought she was great. I did also enjoy the fight scene with the chainsaw clowns but in a movie with a run time of 1h 42 mins this isn't hardly enough to recommend it.

After everything the ending is also terrible Zombie tries to leach tension from a scene where there is none because he doesn't realise by this point nobody cares. He kills off the few likable characters and leaves us with one no one was rooting for.

I don't know why I continue to watch his films but I will say one thing for Zombie. When it comes to dropping turds he beats my cousin hands down.
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The worst movie of the decade. I am not even joking.
manuelasaez21 September 2016
Let me start off my review by saying that I do not care for the work of Rob Zombie. As a musician, I avoided his contributions, and as a film maker, I am apathetic, at best. I enjoyed Halloween, and the Devils' Rejects wasn't awful. That being said, I just have nothing positive to say about his latest endeavor. This movie, 31, has finally cemented Zombie as a hack with too much creative freedom and not enough creativity. Just like Uwe Boll, Tyler Perry and Eli Roth, all hacks in their own right, Zombie exceeds them by not having anything commercially or critically successful, as his movies are divisive at best and abhorrent at worst. The worst part of it all is that with some truly talented people, his films would actually turn out somewhat enjoyable. But this man just seems hellbent on being the worst director that horror has to offer, unleashing each subsequent soiled diaper onto the world without a care for adding anything of value to the genre. The premise is solid, and could have made for an original and enjoyable film, but with acting like Sherry Moon's, how can you take any of it seriously? Everyone was just awful in this film, down to the extra's, and this movie does not deserve to be seen by anyone. This is quite literally the worst film I have seen in the past decade. A complete and utter waste of time in every sense of the word. Utterly and completely insulting.
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Rob Zombie doing his thing
tootyfnfruity24 May 2020
This film gets a lot of negative feedback, but I have to disagree. Zombie makes horror films - not family friendly scary films or date night blockbusters. With Zombie you always get his movie. He doesn't conform to Hollywood standards to please the critics. He makes what his fans love, and that is hardcore, brutal, insane horror.

31 is a horrific tale full of violence and depravity. It's beautifully shot and at times reminded of 1000 Corpses in the way the cinematography helped tell the story. We've all seen films where a group is kidnapped and forced into some kind of game to the death orchestrated by a madman. Well Zombie puts his stamp on this. He makes it his own and you know it's his. The dialogue written is great as usual for his films - it's funny and it's realistic. The gore is extreme. The characters are original and their costumes are great. Some true art went in to creating these characters and costumes. It was very cool. The violence is uncomfortable. Zombie does a great job as always at invoking that sense of dread and uncomfortableness. It's Zombie at his most brutal and hardcore.
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