People may get defensive reading this, saying "why watch it anyway", "this is not a film to be taken seriously" and "you should know what to expect before watching", like at least one person annoyingly says for many panned low-budget films. Saw '90210 Shark Attack' out of curiosity, to see whether it was that awful and hoping for some guilty pleasure fun. Knowing exactly what to expect, having seen my fair share of shark films (the odd one being a mild guilty pleasure but most struggle to rise mediocre level).
Am aware that this kind of film is not to be taken seriously (that is the case with a vast majority of shark films in existence), the title '90210 Shark Attack' and the absurd premise alone give that away. Knew that it was a film that wouldn't win awards for great production values or writing and would be very cheesy. Was not expecting something though that would be so intelligence-insultingly awful in every single way, with absolutely no fun, tension or heart. Actually felt that my IQ had been decreased by several notches after watching and that is not a nice thing to feel.
'90210 Shark Attack' looks amateurish and ridiculously fake. Especially bad is the repetitive, almost all of the time for no reason, editing, and there is far too much stock footage of sharks lacking any kind of menace or even doing an awful lot, again mostly pointless. It was impossible to detect any kind of direction, if there was any, despite it shockingly not being the case, it honestly came over as a director completely and utterly lacking in experience. The soundtrack throughout the entirety of '90210 Shark Attack' was completely misplaced and placed so inappropriately, on its own it sounds cheap and at least 25 years out of date.
The script sounded made up on the spot and the cheese and awkwardness goes into complete overkill, that it becomes exhausting. The story is as indescipherable as the direction, even more so, with far too many gratuitous close up shots of torsos, a worse than lethargic pace and no tension or suspense whatsoever.
None of the characters are remotely interesting, let alone likeable. When they had any kind of discernible personality they were truly obnoxious. There are three elements especially that come over as non-existent, one was the direction, one was the story and the other is the worse-than-high-school-play level of acting.
Summarising, am really shocked that even, when trying to take it for what it was and trying to be, something this appalling was made. 1/10 (and that is being generous)
