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"Two and a Half Men" Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin (TV Episode 2014) Poster

Quotes

Alan Harper: So, I figured I'd just chalk this up as another loss and move on. Universe: 82,223 Alan: 12

Walden Schmidt: Come on, you're exaggerating. You have not had 12 victories.

Alan Harper: Yes, I have. Uh, my son plus the number of years I've lived here rent-free.

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Walden Schmidt: These are the kinds of things we have to do as a relationship evolves. Sex becomes companionship, and companionship becomes commitment. Commitment becomes complacency which gives way to contempt, until you find yourself longing for the sweet release of death.

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