Kristi and the Time Machine

Words fail me. I thought Abducted By Daleks reached the depths of bad porn. How wrong I was. This is torture porn with pretensions. Richard Stalin *might* have hoped to remake Party Girl A Go Go or Cafe Flesh. Probably not, though. He just wanted to torture women in the most annoying way possible. So he bought two Trash Humpers masks, some voice altering software and found the woman with the biggest vagina in the world and got to work. How latently homosexual and misogynistic is this movie? Great question. There's a scene where Grandma jerks of Grandpa but it's obvious that it's the two male actors. But it's worse than that. They use a dildo for Gramp's penis. In fact, there are no actual penises in the entire movie. Not one. All insertion is done with objects - guns, candles, etc - or fingers. That's just psychotic and not in a funny ha-ha way. Top that off with every single dubbed syllable put through voice software and you've got a headache in about 5mins. Towards the end of this abortion, they don't even try to match up the dialog to what's going on on screen.

I was going to give this a 1 but will give it a two so it has no chance of someone stumbling across it at the bottom of the IMDb list.