Edit
What We Do in the Shadows (2014) Poster

Quotes

Showing all 26 items

Deacon: I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.

Vladislav: I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.

312 of 313 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Viago: Yeah some of our clothes are from victims. You might bite someone and then, you think, 'Oooh, those are some nice pants!'.

127 of 127 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Vladislav: Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!

Viago: What are you bidding on?

Vladislav: I am bidding on a table.

109 of 109 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Anton, werewolf: [to all the werewolves] What are we? We're...

[All, together]

Anton, werewolf: We're Werewolves, not Swear-Wolves.

106 of 107 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Jackie: You were a virgin when we were seeing each other.

Nick: Yeah, I was twelve.

60 of 60 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Stu: [Showing the vampires Google] Anything you want to find you type it in.

Viago: I lost a really nice silk scarf in about 1912.

Deacon: Yes, now Google it.

78 of 79 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Vladislav: You will not eat Stu and you will not eat the camera guy...

Vladislav: Maybe one camera guy.

44 of 44 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Deacon: When you are a vampire you become very... , sexy!

34 of 34 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Deacon: One day I was selling my wears, and I walked passed this old creepy castle. And I look at it and think, "'very old and creepy". And then this creature... flies at me! It dragged me back to this dark dungeon. And bit into my neck. And just at the point of death; this creature forced me to suck its foul blood. And then it opened it's wings, like this. And hovered above me. Screeching. 'Now you are vampire.' And it was Petyr. And we're still friends today.

50 of 51 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Vladislav: We should get some slaves!

33 of 33 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Vladislav: What are you doing tonight? Are you going to kill some perverts?

Child Vampire: Yeah, we're meeting a pedophile.

Vladislav: Cool!

30 of 30 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Vladislav: We're vampires, we don't put down towels.

28 of 28 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Vladislav: He was an 18th century dandy, so he can be very fussy

28 of 28 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Stu: I work for a company that... basically we take like business requirements from organizations, then we analyze those requirements and then we build software to fit those requirements.

Pauline Ivanovich, The Beast: He is a virgin. He is a virgin!

28 of 28 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Viago: Some people freak out a bit about the age difference. They think, "what's this 96-year-old lady doing with a guy four times her age?" And, you know, I don't care.

Katherine: It doesn't make any difference.

Viago: No. They can call me cradle snatcher, who cares?

22 of 22 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Viago: Deacon. How was your night, last night?

Deacon: I transformed into a dog and had sex.

Viago: Cool!

30 of 31 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Viago: [to Petyr] I was thinking, maybe... I just should bring a broom down here for you if you wanted to sweep up some of the skeletons.

18 of 18 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Stu: [browsing the Internet] If we push "images" then we can see pictures of virgins.

VladislavViagoDeacon: Oh yes.

Vladislav: I don't think she's a virgin if she's doing that.

18 of 18 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Viago: I really hope that those guys don't kill those police, because it will mean more police will come. Possibly even Christians, which is totally the last thing we need in this house.

18 of 18 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Viago: I went in the lounge the other day and there was blood all over my nice antique couch.

Vladislav: Which one? The red one?

Viago: Well it's red now, yeah.

16 of 16 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Vladislav: I go for a look which I call dead but delicious

23 of 24 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Pauline Ivanovich, The Beast: You a demon?

Viago: No, he's not a demon.

Stu: I'm a software analyst.

12 of 12 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Deacon: This is what happens when you're a vampire. You have to watch everyone die. Your mother and father. All your friends. Sometimes brutal, like slipping and falling onto a giant spike. Or falling asleep in an autumn pile of leaves and having some of them block your windpipe. Or making the simple mistake of fashioning a mask out of crackers and being attacked by ducks, geese, swans. Or simply dying of old age. But even old age is brutal. Watching your friends grow old. They can't piss, and they say stupid things, and their brains go, and they can't remember anything. And then one day they can't even remember who you are, and you wish they were dead, and then they do die. No, if I know Stu, this was probably the way he wanted to go. Disembowelled by werewolves. Blood and guts splayed onto the trees. His face torn to shreds.

[pause]

Deacon: I hope I made you feel better.

17 of 18 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Deacon: Wait, let's kill them.

Vladislav: Well let's just see what other safety points they have... and then maybe we'll kill them.

11 of 11 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Nick: Twilight!

Deacon: Shut up, Nick! You are not Twilight.

13 of 14 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

Jackie: I love you.

Terry, Jackie's husband: I love you too.

Jackie: Great. But I am your master.

8 of 8 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook   |  Twitter   |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page


Recently Viewed