Marnie Michaels: Dinner was supposed to be our time for honesty. And I'm really sorry you guys. This is not about you, Hannah. This is between us. This was supposed to be a girls only night, but you invited the cast of Magic Mike!
Hannah Horvath: Marnie... I don't feel like being honest.
Shoshanna Shapiro: [drunk] Why not? Being honest is fun.
Hannah Horvath: What are you talking about, Shosh?
Shoshanna Shapiro: I'm talking about the fact that you're a fucking narcissist, Hannah! The reason why you never want to be honest and open is so that no one will see that you are such an entitled narcissist! Seriously, I have never met anyone else who thinks their own life is so fucking fascinating! I wanted to fall asleep in my own vomit all day listening to you talk on and on about how you bruise more easily than other people!
Hannah Horvath: Are you serious? Okay, well... people, including my own parents, have been calling me a narcissist since I was three, so it doesn't really upset me very much anymore. You've gotta choose something more creative then that.
Marnie Michaels: Yeah, it really has no effect on you.
Hannah Horvath: Now you? So we're untabling our issues then?
Marnie Michaels: I wanted to do this at dinner. But as always, you go out of your way to be the center of attention. We run into Josh and all his gay friends, and you just can't resist the urge to invite them over here just so you can show off to them and talk about how great your own life is and how more pretty you are compared to the rest of them! We were supposed to have a quiet dinner together. Just the four of us.
Shoshanna Shapiro: Oh my God! Can you chill the fuck out about dinner? Seriously, that duck tasted like a used condom and I want to forget about it!
Marnie Michaels: Shosh, you have gone totally insane!
Jessa Johansson: I don't know. Maybe she has gone sane from being drunk.
Shoshanna Shapiro: You guys never listen to me! You treat me like I'm a fucking cab driver! Seriously, you have entire conversations in front of me like I'm invisible. And sometimes I wonder if my social anxiety is holding me back from meeting the people who would actually be right for me instead of a bunch of fucking whiny nothings as friends!
Hannah Horvath: Well, maybe Shosh has a point. I mean, it's not like the four of us have had any real fun for the past two years.
Marnie Michaels: That is not true.
Hannah Horvath: Name one fun thing.
Marnie Michaels: This trip, if we had done everything like I planned...
Hannah Horvath: Oh my God!
Jessa Johansson: Hey, wait! Marnie, I think you should process what you just said because, you know, happiness is about appreciating what you have.
Hannah Horvath: Yes!
Shoshanna Shapiro: What is that? Like some AA bullshit? Seriously, Jessa goes to rehab for five fucking seconds and we have to listen to everything she comes up with?
Jessa Johansson: Shosh, you are a cruel drunk.
Marnie Michaels: It's crazy!
Hannah Horvath: She's a cruel drunk, and she's also not an intellectual.
