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Written by Amedeo Falconio, Josh Quentin Demers, Matthew Demers, Matthew Evola and Eric Hoffman
Performed by ClassX
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Pointless, boring, horrifically written, directed, acted, and quite simply douche.
Don't worry, there are no spoilers in this review because there's nothing to spoil.
First of all, I have to address the fake reviews and votes. It really speaks volumes about the people involved with this production. There is no way this movie can get anything beyond a 1. Sometimes movies are so bad, that they become interesting and amusing to watch. This is not the case with The Scarehouse. There's not a single positive thing I can list after 83 minutes. This is why all those high votes are absurd and honestly quite offensive to everyone's intelligence. This is nothing more than people involved with this film, making fake profiles and giving unrealistically high ratings and writing reviews, to trick people into seeing a low budget douchebaggery, talentless director and talentless cast engage in a pointless exercise in film making.
Like I said, this film offers nothing. The story is boring and unclear, dialog is meaningless and at times cringe worthy, characters are underdeveloped and very unlikable, and as a whole it's not remotely entertaining, not scary, not realistic and full of clichés. The fact that the guy that directed it, wrote it with his wife and then cast his wife as a lead, tells you a lot. It boggles the mind that with a script like this, he found any resources, funding and support to film it at all. Seeing what he put on display, he could have had the budget of Dark Knight, and would still have failed. When it comes to the cast, Penny the waitress from "The Big Bang Theory" comes to mind, because that's the type of girls they hired for this movie. At least Kaley Cuoco is attractive, which cannot be said for any of the cast members of The Scarehouse, but that's beside the point. I can't imagine they got more than 200 dollars for the roles. The actual Scarehouse in the movie looks like a bad Halloween underground techno party set in '90s Detroit. Camera work is bad and I can't imagine they used anything more the a basic Canon SLR. Torture scenes are laughable, and comparing them to Saw movies like someone suggested is a blatant lie. I'm not even going to address the storyline, simply because it's boring, predictable and a mix of clichés we've all seen before.The only thing I can imagine being more cringe-inducing than watching The Scarehouse, is how the family members of waitresses/actresses felt watching this, and then having to tell them it was good, lying to their face. I don't know how much money was spent, but it was money wasted. With success some limited budget Indies have had over the years, a movement of dbag directors making terrible movies has risen. This needs to stop. To the waitresses/actresses I recommend sticking to your day job because pulling of a Jennifer Aniston, from a leprechaun movie to millions per episode, is a 1 in a 300 million chance. "Getting your foot in the door" mentality, is why stupid movies like this one exist. This also needs to stop.
The thing that compelled me to write this review is not the fact the movie was bad, it was awful don't get me wrong, but it was the pathetic attempts to raise the rating and the chance of people seeing it, with fake reviews. I hope IMDb comes up with some way to stop this kind of behavior. To the cast and crew of The Scarehouse who engaged in such feeble attempts, know that it has backfired and the rating is bound to go well below the one your pathetic attempt at film has now.
Skip The Scarehouse, but do spread the word so people don't waste their valuable time. This movie couldn't even appeal to teenage girls who go to Wall Mart with dried toothpaste on their zits and listen to Iggy Azalea.
18 of 28 people found this review helpful.
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