Pirate hunter Captain Edward Reynolds and his blond first mate, Jules Steel, return where they are recruited by a shady governor general to find a darkly sinister Chinese empress pirate, ... See full summary »
Swash and unbuckle. In 1763, the Caribbean is awash in pirates. The worst is Stagnetti, backed by his bloodthirsty first mate, Serena. He wants the Scepter of Inca, which gives its owner ... See full summary »
Smash Pictures made an explicit porn parody of the mainstream mega-hit "Bridesmaids", but Digital Playground was not to be denied, creating an all-star (in terms of its roster of contract actresses) inspiration different enough to not require the usual plagiarism disclaimers.
The label's most prolific house director Robby D. came from a gonzo background and it shows. His script is not funny, the actresses are allowed to overact miserably in their dialog scenes, as all that matters here are the six explicit sex scenes. With a week's shooting schedule and name talent it qualifies as a big-deal release, but has little to offer.
Script gimmick is that Kayden Kross and Jesse Jane are competing to see who is the bride's best friend, their silly war at first defused by Alyssa Branch as the bride naming them both to the post of maid of honor.
Robby tries to create funny situations but fails miserably. What we get is four porno babes chatting incessantly, gossiping and killing time while someone is being lubed up for the next XXX go-round. The delightful Vicki Chase is thrown into the mix as the token "slut" who seduces Bill Bailey at his diner, cuing their humping standing up in the kitchen. Since the target for this film is the mainstream "gross-out" comedy genre, Vicki has him deposit his spunk on a hamburger, served to star Stoya for a dubious sight gag of her eating it. In porn terms this might have been gross, say on a Lizzy Borden level, had a continuous tracking shot taken the cum spray onto hamburger on a tray carried to Stoyas's table for her to consume, without a cut. But that is beyond Robby's expertise.
Other filler has Derrick Pierce training folks in boxing at his gym, so we get to see him and Erik Everhard hump Jesse and Kayden there. James Deen sort of portrays a light on his feet fashion designer, humping Stoya at his shop -she's his frequent screen partner (c.f., John Stagliano's "Voracious Second Season").
Attempts at comedy at the Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower fall flat and at no time is there a danger of interest in these dumb characters. Dozens of extras appear in both fleeting and major non-sex roles but none of them receive an identifying screen credit.
Strictly, as intended, for extreme fans of the ladies in the cast, which include Brooklyn Lee in a nothing role supposedly equal to the other stars.
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