The Bayou

Ug, talk about a bad high school project, whole thing was probably filmed from an iphone. The trailer says from the producers of "47 meters down" uh really?

This is like cheap beyond cheap production, which is alright if they tried but the people are annoying, the story makes no sense, and just irritatingly the whole way that gives me a headache.

Everyone in the film is so unlikable and makes no sense, was cheering for the CGI gators. I mean, yeah, these kinds of films should have annoying people, but there's a limit.

And did the meth make the gather super smart too? That Jurassic Park 3 ending is ludicrous.

Easily 1/10.

After suffering through Skinamarink, one of the most boring horror films I have ever seen, I needed to cleanse my palate, so to speak. The Bayou fits the bill perfectly - it's a cheap and cheerful creature feature with absolutely no pretensions. It does exactly what it says on the tin and is actually better than I expected, with above average CGI for this kind of thing, a smattering of gore and reasonable performances.

Athena Strates plays Kyle, who flies to the everglades with her friends to scatter the ashes of her older brother Jamie (Flynn Barnard). Disaster strikes when the plane experiences engine trouble and ditches in the middle of a swamp, where the alligator population has turned super-aggressive due to the powerful narcotic that was dumped in the water during a raid on an illegal drug factory.

The film obviously won't win any awards for originality, but it's not trying to - it knows exactly what is required of it, moving swiftly along, delivering a few jump scares and a fair bit of suspense. And it doesn't scrimp on the gator action: there's numerous ravenous reptiles, both practical and computer generated, and they put quite a few similarly themed films to shame.

6/10. Worth a go if it's a brainless, no-nonsense bit of fun you're after.

The release year of The Bayou (2025) states that it was 2025. Ok, but why on earth is such a movie like this produced in this day-and-age? With an estimated budget of $5 million (unconfirmed) I doubt that they saw a return out of this move.

Madalena Aragão (Alice) reminded me of Kaya Scodelario in her looks, I had to do some searching on that, as it happens, Kaya was in the movie Crawl (2019) which was about gators. Crawl was a better movie.

Anyway, overall The Bayou was just ok, but below average for a 2025 movie. Athena Strates (Kyle) didn't quiet convince me that she was a gator expert. Elisha Applebaum (Malika) worked her magic and totally convinced me to dislike her character, so well done there, Elisha.

Other actors trying to do their bit were Mohammed Mansaray (Sam) seemed to be confused whether he had to be the comedic relief or a wanna be hero. The crazed pilot, Frank (Andonis Anthony), was not convincing at being a leader. Tayla Kovacevic-Ebong (Dom) was probably the hero, or close to one.

Overall, the effects were not too bad, the story and acting are what you would expect from the B movie. Would I recommend this? A few beers or wine and it is a yes.

Teen road trip. Yes! Animal horror. Yes! Alligators on drugs. Yes!!! The moment when you know you're not in for a good film, but you'll still have fun. And the film is rounded off. The modest budget is recognisable, but is creatively circumvented. Without question, the alligators are essential and there's not much to complain about. Less is more, instead of CGI eye cancer, a good motto. The actors will probably never end up in the top league, but they make an effort without overacting unpleasantly. The swamp setting is well chosen and atmospherically rendered. And importantly, no misplaced humour. Up to this point, the film has been well-rounded, but somehow it still gets a bit too far in the area that is perhaps the easiest to realise. Unfortunately, a script without surprises, with little suspense, a lack of logic, no likeable characters and lots of really stupid scenes.

Is their unlimited and limited funds each year to make crap horror monster movies?! There is naturally and obviously.

It is not bad, it is freakish bad. The monsters out of a 1982 visual effects box, the "blood" came from liters of reddish nail paint, the acting not so bad, the logic of the situations dismal and the ending straight from an empty juice packet.

I'm not against 'The Bayou', I just recommend watching any crocodile, alligator movie since the 1970s and finish with the sterling 2007 'Black Water' . Only then after watching the latter, you'd understand what a croc movie should be.

• Screenplay/storyline/plots: 3
• Production value/impact: 3
• Development: 6
• Realism: 4
• Entertainment: 3
• Acting: 3.5
• Filming/photography/cinematography: 5.5
• VFX: 4
• Music/score/sound: 4
• Depth: 3
• Logic: 2
• Flow: 3.5
• Disaster drama/monster horror/action/thriller: 3
• Ending: 2.