Kevin Ryan: Castle, how's the knee?
Richard Castle: It's not the knee so much as the *boredom*.
Javier Esposito: I thought you writers liked being alone.
Richard Castle: Yeah, if I could write. But the painkillers make me a little loopy. Last night, I used the word 'speculate' three times in the same sentence.
[Ryan sees a pair of binoculars and looks through them]
Kevin Ryan: Hmm. You *must* be bored. You've actually gone "Rear Window".
Richard Castle: Alexis got me those as a joke to cheer me up. I have not *yet* resorted to voyeurism.
Kevin Ryan: Then you are missing out.
Javier Esposito: What? Let me see.
[they fight over the binoculars]
Kevin Ryan: No. Hey!
Javier Esposito: Give me the binoculars!
Kevin Ryan: Dude, she was just about to take off her towel.
Javier Esposito: [using binoculars] Oh, the towel's off.
Kevin Ryan: Yeah?
Kate Beckett: [comes up behind them] Unless the body that you're looking at is dead, I suggest you drop those binoculars.
Kate Beckett: Why are men such *babies* when they get sick or injured?
Javier Esposito: It's an evolutionary thing. Men who can get women to take care of 'em, they have a greater chance of survival.
Kate Beckett: Really, Espo? Where'd you read that? "You're Making It Up" magazine"?
Alexis Castle: Did you ever stop to think that maybe there's an innocent explanation for everything?
Richard Castle: All right, what is the innocent explanation for rolling up a rug and taking it out of your apartment at 3:00 am?
Alexis Castle: Yeah... That is... pretty weird.
[said while confined to a wheelchair and playing with a remote control helicopter]
Richard Castle: "Looks like we've got some beautiful clear skies with us today. A nice tailwind's gonna get us there right away, folks. We'll be there at zero dark thirty, zero dark quarter to. Nice, Red Five. You're looking good. Oh, no! I've got something wrong!"
[the unit starts malfunctioning and Castle can't bring it under control]
Richard Castle: Ooh, that's not good. Evade! Evade, evade!
[the helicopter crashes to the floor and breaks]
Richard Castle: Noooooo!
Richard Castle: All the evidence we need is in that shredder. It'll tell us who the victim is. We can prove she's missing.
Alexis Castle: And what if he catches you?
Richard Castle: He won't. Not if I have your help. Next time he leaves, I'll slip over there. You keep watch...
[holds up a walkie talkie]
Richard Castle: ... and make sure he's not coming back. I go inside, I get whatever's in the shredder, and I get out. Two minutes, tops.
Alexis Castle: On crutches?
Richard Castle: The doctor did say I need more exercise.
Alexis Castle: What if I go? I'm smaller, faster and younger.
Richard Castle: Oh. No, no, no. If you get caught, you get a B&E on your record, and you'll never become President.
[seeing Beckett dressed up for dinner out]
Richard Castle: Wow. And... wow. Happy birthday to me... If that's my present, I can't wait to unwrap it.
Richard Castle: It was all a fake?... Nothing was real. You... You let me think I was crazy? You let me think you were gonna die!
Kate Beckett: Yeah, but, Castle, you were so bored over the past couple of weeks, stuck... at home with no case to solve, and I saw that this apartment was for rent, and I just- I thought that...
Martha Rodgers: Richard.
Richard Castle: No... No... This is... without a doubt... the *greatest birthday gift of my life*!
[Castle has been confined to a wheelchair]
Kate Beckett: Almost there, Castle. Just another *two* weeks.
Richard Castle: It's already been two weeks. Two weeks is an eternity.
Kate Beckett: Yeah, well, maybe next time we go skiing, you're not gonna be such a show-off.
Richard Castle: I wasn't showing off.
[gets a skeptical look]
Richard Castle: Okay, I was showing off a little bit. But I swear to you, I can do a tail-grab with my eyes closed, and without breaking my kneecap.
[believing he's witnessed a murder but no evidence was found]
Richard Castle: I'm not crazy.
Kate Beckett: No, but you do have a vivid imagination, and you've been stuck inside for two weeks. What were you doing looking out the window anyway?
Richard Castle: Well, I was...
Kate Beckett: Bored? So you saw what you wanted to see?
[Castle looks uncertain]
Kate Beckett: When'd you take your last painkiller?
Richard Castle: I was not hallucinating.
Kate Beckett: Come on, Castle. You're here with a broken leg, binoculars, seeing a "Rear Window" scenario play out across the way. I mean, what are the odds?
Richard Castle: [crestfallen] Astronomical.
[finding Castle asleep in his wheelchair at the window with binoculars]
Kate Beckett: Seriously?
Richard Castle: [waking up] Oh... I can explain.
Kate Beckett: Please don't.
Richard Castle: Listen, he was pacing back and forth in his apartment, and he kept looking towards the bedroom. And then... he slept on the couch. Now, why would you sleep on the couch when you have a perfectly good bed?
Kate Beckett: I could ask you the same question.
Richard Castle: I'll tell you why. Because he had a dead body in there. Ryan and Esposito didn't find it because he hid it.
Kate Beckett: Do you realize what you're doing? You're obsessing over this because you have nothing else to obsess about. Why don't you just come with me to the precinct, focus on a real murder instead of wasting your time on an imaginary one?
Richard Castle: Well, actually, I was thinking about just, uh, trying to do some writing today.
Kate Beckett: Okay. As long as by writing, you don't mean staring out the window and ogling at your neighbors.
Richard Castle: No. That would be immoral and intrusive.
Kate Beckett: Yeah, like you've never done that before.
Kate Beckett: This is not an emergency!
Richard Castle: I caught him red-handed. *Literally* red-handed.
Kate Beckett: Oh, so then it's gotta be blood.
Richard Castle: What else could it be?
Kate Beckett: Red paint, tomato juice, beets, red velvet cupcakes.
Richard Castle: He bought a tarp and rope. He brought them into the bedroom, where I'm betting, right now, he's cutting her into portable pieces. Get a warrant. *Search* that place before there's no evidence left.
Kate Beckett: Esposito spoke to the girl. We know she's alive.
Richard Castle: How do you know it's the same girl? It's possible he someone to be his alibi.
Kate Beckett: Or it's possible something else entirely is going on here. Look... I know that you're lonely and that you miss me. I miss you, too. But you don't have to keep making up things to have me come back here.
Richard Castle: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You think this is a ploy to get you here?
Kate Beckett: Look, I don't mean to be like...
Richard Castle: No, I know what you mean, all right? And I know what I saw.
Kate Beckett: All right, you know what? I have to get back to the precinct.
Richard Castle: Wow. You really don't believe me.
Kate Beckett: I'll be back later.
Richard Castle: You know what? Don't worry about it. I'm fine.
[after the revelation of Beckett's birthday gift]
Richard Castle: You know... what you did for me... nobody's ever done that for me before... That was... epic.
[taking her hand, he pulls her down onto his lap]
Richard Castle: But you do know that now I will have to get you back.
Kate Beckett: Oh, really? And you think that you can top that?
[turning his wheelchair around, he moves them towards the bedroom]
Richard Castle: Oh, just you wait and see.
[as Castle leaves the Captain's office after being chewed out for breaking into his suspect's storage unit]
Javier Esposito: Hey, Castle, is it hard to balance on those crutches when you've just had your ass chewed off?
Richard Castle: How many murders do you think we've solved since we met?
Kate Beckett: I don't know. Um... maybe a hundred or so?
Martha Rodgers: Well, I am off. Now, the retreat is out of cell phone range, so if I don't call you on your birthday, it is not because I have forgotten.
Richard Castle: I won't think it's because you've forgotten. Think it's because you made other plans.
Martha Rodgers: Now, wait a minute. You and Katherine were supposed to be celebrating in Bora Bora this week.
Richard Castle: No, you're right. Have a great time on your retreat. On your only son's birthday.
Martha Rodgers: It is a *spa* trip, darling, not a *guilt* trip.
Martha Rodgers: He's all yours.
Kate Beckett: Oh, come on, Castle. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I'll get us a reservation. I'll take you somewhere nice for your birthday.
Richard Castle: As nice as Bora Bora?
Kate Beckett: [wrinkling her nose] Mmm...
[Ryan and Esposito show up at the loft as Martha is is leaving]
Martha Rodgers: Oh! Katherine, your ride is here.
Kate Beckett: Oh, great.
Richard Castle: Ride?
Kate Beckett: Yeah. We had a body drop. I asked the boys to pick me up so I'd have enough time to make you *breakfast*.
Richard Castle: [loudly] I'm missing another case? No, come on.
Richard Castle: Guys, take me with you.
Kate Beckett: No! Not until you get better.
Charlie Blunt: Look, most IRS agents get threats. It's the nature of our business.
Kevin Ryan: Did Mrs. DeWinter report any recently?
Charlie Blunt: No.
Javier Esposito: Are you sure?
Charlie Blunt: You have to understand, Clara was a rare breed; an IRS agent who actually liked her job.
Kevin Ryan: What's that have to do with her being threatened?
Charlie Blunt: [lowering his voice] The thing is each threat requires an investigation, which is a headache for upstairs. It's an unwritten rule that agents that report threats don't fare well on performance reviews.
Javier Esposito: Well, that unwritten rule may have gotten her killed.
Kate Beckett: [answering phone] Hey, Castle.
Richard Castle: Where are you?
Kate Beckett: I'm at work. Why?
Richard Castle: You said you were bringing home dinner.
Kate Beckett: Yes. On my way home.
Richard Castle: So when are you leaving?
Kate Beckett: Soon.
Richard Castle: When's soon?
Kate Beckett: Like, in...
Kate Beckett: ... half an hour?
Richard Castle: Fine.
Richard Castle: [Beckett sees Ryan and Espo's expressions]
Kate Beckett: Shut up.
Kate Beckett: You've got a long list of indictments against you, Mr. Valentino. Assault, racketeering, murder one. And yet, no convictions.
Tommy Valentine: I'm lucky that way.
Kate Beckett: Yeah, well, your luck's about to run out. I have evidence connecting you to payments made to my vic, Clara DeWinter.
Jack Langstrom: My client has no comment.
Tommy Valentine: Whoa, whoa, wait. Someone killed Clara?
Kate Beckett: Oh, looks like he does have a comment. So, you're admitting to knowing her?
Tommy Valentine: Yeah... But I didn't kill her. She was my tax consultant.
Kate Beckett: You paid an IRS agent half a million dollars to act as your tax consultant?
Tommy Valentine: You bet your ass. No one's gonna Al Capone me.
Kate Beckett: Tommy "The Shark"'s alibi holds. He was with some associates at a nightclub that he owns.
Javier Esposito: It doesn't mean he didn't send of one of his boys.
Kate Beckett: Look, if he killed Clara, he wouldn't have talked to me. No. Hiding the money, planning to disappear. Something else is going on here. So what've you got on the husband?
Kevin Ryan: Oh, not much. He's a manager at a big name supermarket in Queens. No priors. Been married seven years. Oh! And he took a million-dollar life insurance policy out on his wife only three months ago.
Javier Esposito: Huh. That's not suspicious.
Captain Victoria Gates: What in the hell do you think you were doing?
Richard Castle: But all the evidence, the rug, the storage space...
Captain Victoria Gates: Evidence? I just spoke to your alleged killer, Mr. Castle. He got that storage space at his ex-girlfriend's request. He was moving her belongings there, *including* her rug.
Richard Castle: How do you know he's telling the truth? No one's heard from her.
Captain Victoria Gates: We contacted her. She's fine.
Richard Castle: What about the paint and the- and the bleach?
Captain Victoria Gates: He discovered mold and wanted to take care of it. Anything else?
Richard Castle: Just...
Kate Beckett: Uh, sir, Castle is just...
Captain Victoria Gates: Embarrassing me and the department? Oh, and Mr. Castle, your neighbor did say that if you bother him in any way, he will press charges. And I will be so happy to take you into custody *personally*.
Kate Beckett: Castle, you just apologized to me.
Richard Castle: I rescind the apology. I take it back. She's in the fridge.
Kate Beckett: You know what? Let's just go downstairs and wait for the driver there.
Richard Castle: I am not going anywhere until I see what's in that fridge.
Kate Beckett: What? You're gonna stay here and wait for him to open it?
Richard Castle: If that's what it takes.
Kate Beckett: Okay, fine.
[turns to leave]
Richard Castle: Where are you going?
Kate Beckett: Castle, I made plans for you. I dressed up for you. And I'm not gonna let you ruin this night.
Richard Castle: So what are you gonna do?
Kate Beckett: I am going to go over there and open that bloody fridge, and then you and I are going to dinner and never talking about this again.
Richard Castle: No, don't do it. It's too dangerous.
Kate Beckett: Not as dangerous as me if you blow up my plans.
Richard Castle: What if he doesn't let you in?
Kate Beckett: Look at me. He's gonna let me in.
[using binoculars Castle sees a woman across the street sneak her lover out of the apartment before her boyfriend catches them]
Richard Castle: Well, maybe next time you'll think twice about being cheating cheaters.
Kate Beckett: Hey, Lanie, what do we got?
Lanie Parish: Sorry, sweetie. It's a bad one. Multiple contusions to the head, evidence of fracturing at the base of the skull. From the patterning, I'd say she was repeatedly struck by that bat.
Javier Esposito: Do we know who she is?
Lanie Parish: The guard who found her IDed her as Clara DeWinter, 35, lives in Queens, and married.
Kate Beckett: What was she doing in this alleyway in the middle of the night?
Lanie Parish: She was an IRS agent. Worked in this building here.
Kevin Ryan: [approaching] Apparently she was working late. The employees sometimes cut across the alley to get to the parking garage next door.
Kate Beckett: Do we have a witness?
Kevin Ryan: No. But we may have something way better.
Kate Beckett: Hey, guys. So... Tech couldn't get us a better look at the attacker's face, but they're hoping to have an ID on the car by morning. How's it going in here?
Kevin Ryan: Well, Clara's colleagues don't remember her mentioning any explicit threat.
Javier Esposito: But if we're looking for people whose lives were ruined, there's no shortage of suspects. We've got houses that were repossessed, bank accounts that were seized, businesses that were shut down, and we're only a couple of months in.
Kevin Ryan: We went back through *all* of Clara's records. Turns out that she was hiding something.
Javier Esposito: Over half a million dollars in a secret bank account. She used every legal trick to hide it. Nobody, not even her husband, knew about it.
Kate Beckett: This girl made $75k a year. How'd she get her hands on half a mill?
Kevin Ryan: Well, at first we thought she was shaking down her auditees, but *then* we traced the deposits.
Javier Esposito: All from businesses owned or affiliated to Tommy Valentino.
Kate Beckett: Tommy "The Shark" Valentino? Why's an IRS agent taking payoffs from a crime boss?
Javier Esposito: I dunno, but wanting to disappear and then getting whacked in an alley, it's all starting to make sense.
Kate Beckett: Look, I know it sounds suspicious, but without a body or a missing persons report, I've got nothing to go on.
Richard Castle: Well, while you're waiting for something to go on, he's already taken most of the evidence away. But luckily, I know what he's gonna... with...
[Alexis hands him the receipt he found]
Richard Castle: Thank you. With the body in the storage unit.
Kate Beckett: You're talking about an illegal search.
Richard Castle: When you do it, it's an illegal search. When I do it, it's just illegal.
Richard Castle: You were all in on it?
Martha Rodgers: Mm-hmm. Michael, Brent, and Emily, my brilliant acting students. I, of course, was the director.
Richard Castle: And the boys?
Javier Esposito: Yep.
Kate Beckett: Oh, yeah, they were great. Except you didn't have to kick down the door.
Javier Esposito: I was in the moment.
Kevin Ryan: We wanted to be convincing.
Javier Esposito: Yeah.
Richard Castle: Alexis, you too?
Alexis Castle: It's why I bought you the binoculars.
Richard Castle: Even Captain Gates?
Kevin Ryan: Yeah, she jumped at the chance to dress you down for any reason.
Richard Castle: Where is Captain Gates?
Javier Esposito: She couldn't make it.
Richard Castle: Good.
Michael: Hey... did you eat my fries?
Selena Rigas: You shouldn't have left them.