Call Girl of Cthulhu (2014) Poster

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Don't take it too seriously, or you'll miss out
snakepaws1 February 2015
You may find yourself asking just what in the hell you're watching within the first 15-20 min. Press onward, and don't take it too seriously - you'll miss out on the fun ride. It's akin to something like 'Todd and the Book of Pure Evil.' The acting is good. Writing, wardrobe, sets, sound, effects, etc, are all on par with the budget - again it all works for what it is. You can tell the entire production team had a great time making this film, and made something they were proud to screen.

Bottom line, I know this review sucks, but for someone looking for a fun, raunchy indie horror-comedy based on Lovecraftian mythos, look no further.
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A micro budget horror done right.
GWShark2 November 2015
This is a fun micro-budget horror-comedy with some decent (some not) acting and practical effects. Simple, yet interesting plot with full of Lovecraft references and some expected gore n' nudity. Of course there are some boring parts here and there but it is watchable (even more than once with the right company of people) Although makers of this movie say they are inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft, I think their biggest influence is Troma films. The tone of the movie, colors, special effects and yes the penis monster reminded me of good ol' Aroma du Troma. Call Girl of Cthulhu isn't Chris LaMartina's best film and H.P. Lovecraft wouldn't be proud. But Lloyd Kaufman would!
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"Answer the call"!
dworldeater26 February 2016
If you are like me and have come across this movie and think the title alone is hilarious and worth watching, Call Girl Of Cthulhu will not disappoint you. Call Girl... is a very tongue in cheek, micro budgeted horror/comedy that delivers the campy and gory goods. Considering of course this is centered on our leading lady of the night Riley and her occupation is to fulfill the needs of all kinds of horny men, the film has a whole lot of sex appeal and delivers in that area as well. Riley, is a smoking hot hooker with a heart of gold that ends up in a romance when meeting an awkward, but sweet artist and virgin who paints her portrait. Things go awry when Cthulhu cultists search for their god's bride who is a hooker that bares the birthmark destined to be Cthulhu's mate and bring about the end of the world. For this Riley is destined and only her boyfriend and his punk/industrial noise artist chick and roommate can put a stop to this. For a movie dealing with prostitution, alien gods, cult worship and Armageddon, the film has an innocent quality to it an has mostly a light tone. Although this movie was extremely cheap, the performances by the actors are actually good and the characters are developed well throughout the course of the film. The f/x are cheap and cheesy, but are practical at least. Plus this film is cheesy, but in a good way. Call Of Cthulhu is good for what it is. There are no shortage of horror movies based on the writings of HP Lovecraft, but I do like writer Jimmy George and director Chris Lamartino's take on the material. If you want to see a more serious adaptation of Lovecraft's works that has more of a budget to work with the I suggest to check out director Stuart Gordon's films. He made a lot of good films based on Lovecraft, some of them are great and absolute genre classics.
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Good Low Budget Fun
revterry13 May 2017
An artist shut in Falls in love with a prostitute, who also happens to be Cthulhu's chosen bride. Together they try and stop a cult from bringing the old ones back (or something) and starting the apocalypse. Practical effects and enthusiastic acting make it a fun enough ride. I guess it was a Kickstarter backed project. I liked the twist on the love story sub plot. I rate it a : "I have already watched it twice, but once was just background noise"
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It's certainly not good, but there are some nice things
dave-heberer27 August 2019
From the start, this looks like it's going to be a not just bad but poorly made movie. But I stuck through it for a few minutes and got some entertainment out of it. Here's the good and the bad:

Good: I like the story behind the movie. The acting for the people that took off their tops was better than the acting of the clothed people. I don't know if that's good or bad, but whatever. I liked the glimpse at the kinds of sad pandering that a call girl has to put up with, that was entertaining. The bad guys were interesting to look at. I am impressed with how much freaky can be conveyed with simple costumes. In fact, I know it is low budget but bravo to the costuming for the movie with doing lots with little.

Bad: I can't even call it gory. There was a lot of puppetry and fluids being thrown around so I can call it gross but in no way realistic or gory. Even in a movie centered around hookers and strip clubs, there's even extra nudity for no real reason. This stuck out to me, idk why. The sound was really bad in places.

I think it's an ok movie, poorly made in spots, badly acted in other spots but I can say I was entertained by the crazy and I thought the ending was decent. To watch this and come away happy you have to have low expectations. Which the name of the film sets you up with.
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Fun horror date movie
mybrittleheart138715 September 2015
I saw this film at the Maryland film fest and thought it was just great. It is one of those movies for those who like movies that are raunchy, intelligent with just the right amount of horror to keep you and a date interested. Nicolette La Faye is a real treat in this film and I will now lookout for her in other indie films. I am not sure the film would be the same without her. I was so sad to see someone waste their time giving this movie such a bad review. I think that this just isn't a film for everyone. For sure not a film for kids or anyone who isn't really a fan of comedy horror in a low budget movie style. I will say the beginning is a tad slow but once the film gets going to the film really starts moving along quickly. I highly recommend this film and have even seen it again since it left the theater. Do yourself a favor and watch it.
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A Labor of Love...Lost!
PURKASZ2 November 2015
Ya, right...Lovecraft would have really dug this 'homage' being a secret T&A guy back in the day. He especially would have been surprised to see so many of his hidden meanings and dark texts rife with macabre images suddenly illuminated and realized as a bunch of naked women with all their attributes! As if that were not enough, the casting of non-pro actors would sublimate his troubled eldritch inner forces that would normally demand much better performers into a simmering rage at the unseen director of this nonsense. The usage of New England surnames familiar to us all seems unkind to those family members who may still exist in the dark tarns of the hidden blasted heaths and valleys therein. All in all very entertaining for those of us trapped deep below the surface of the Earth with the Old Ones!


Charles Dexter Ward and my new friend... Yog Sothoth -
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Unbelievably bad.
lordkrynn14 September 2015
Let me first start by saying that I created this account just so that I could come here and write about how bad this movie is.

At first, you realize what the creators were trying to do with this movie; it was supposed to be a make-fun-of-itself kind of film. Something that you weren't supposed to take seriously. I get it. But it didn't come off this way at all. What I really took from this was "We identify that we suck at making movies, but we already wasted so much time and money so here is a bunch of garbage, do we get money and fame now?" The acting was bland and colorless. No one was memorable. The story was absolute rubbish and was akin to something that a third grader could write if given a box of crayons and a handful of paint. The directing was beyond ridiculous and you know what? I'm done writing this review. It's not worth my time. This movie was bad and the creators should feel bad. I would rather dump my testicles into a vat of molten acid than even suggest that anyone endure this poor excuse of a film.

You know what's truly sad about it, though? The creators actually wasted REAL time and money on this trash. That's right, REAL time and money. Have fun working at McDonalds for the rest of your lives, idiots.


I would go lower, if IMDb would permit it.
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Sometimes you just have to not answer the call...
paul_haakonsen5 October 2016
I sat down to watch the 2014 "Call Girl of Cthulhu" movie with the expectation for it to be a horror comedy, but I was sorely disappointed. This turned out to be a very sleazy horror movie that was relying heavily on explicit stuff. And not in a good way mind you. I am sure that the master of horror literature is turning over in his grave knowing that his name is associated with such sleaze.

The story does revolve around Lovecraft elements, but it is all just shattered and brought into the gutter with the sleaze that permeates this movie. And it was really a hard movie, pardon the pun, to get through. And truth be told, I gave up 50 minutes into the ordeal. I just couldn't take anymore of it.

I am sure that there is an audience out there for a movie such as "Call Girl of Cthulhu", but for people who truly enjoyed the writings of H.P. Lovecraft and the Lovecraftian literature of newer age is most likely to shun this like a Deep One.

One of the good things about "Call Girl of Cthulhu" was the fact that they had a lot of names and ideals from Lovecraft's mythology down right, and there were lots of small details which also hinted towards Lovecraft, such as the air freshener named Cool Air, for example.

The acting in the movie was as to be expected from a movie such as this, so don't get your hopes up for a groundbreaking Shakespearian experience here. But I am sure that people were doing their best, given the limitations of the script and storyline.

The effects in "Call Girl of Cthulhu" were actually adequate, especially for a movie such as this and with their budget. So that at least worked in favor for the movie. Of course it wasn't a Hollywood CGI and special effects galore, but the effects served their purposes well enough.

I found this movie to be a strain to sit through, and just couldn't bear it to the end. The sleazy element was just too much, and it really didn't sit well with me that Lovecraft's writing and mythology was being dragged through the gutter like that.

The sole reason for this movie not scoring an absolute lowest one out of ten stars from me, is because of the effects and because the crew behind the story had actually taken time to put themselves into the works of Lovecraft, by getting names and such correct.

But if you are a fan of Lovecraft's writing, then chances are high that you, like me, will find no enjoyment in "Call Girl of Cthulhu". I should have listened to the tentacled voice at the back of my head saying "No, don't watch this. The title of the movie says it all!". So take heed and sit down to watch this movie with that warning at heart.

"Call Girl of Cthulhu" scores two out of ten stars, and even then I am being more than generous.
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All Guts, No Brains
scythertitus25 December 2020
Some interesting ideas here and a good dose of gory low budget schlock, but none of the characters make much sense in what they do or say.

It takes almost an hour to pick up but gets a lot more fun when it does. The first half has an almost serious tone that doesn't fit the rest of the movie. If it had been crazy from the getgo and better paced it would have been better, but the second half is still pretty watchable.

Overall if you like schlock and cheap horror with nudity then you'll probably like this at least a little, but for anything more cerebral look elsewhere!
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