Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
Tracy Weiler | ... | Cassie Caulfield | |
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Christopher Guetig | ... | Oliver |
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Sean C. Keller | ... | Chris |
Sarah East | ... | Julie Radner | |
Lauren Maxwell | ... | Julie Simms | |
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Josh Mendelow | ... | Donnie |
Jou Jou Papailler | ... | Sheldon | |
Amy Tribbey | ... | Diane Caulfield | |
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Mike Wolfe | ... | Mike |
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Kendrick Mayer | ... | Brandy |
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Ben Evans | ... | James Caulfield |
Pete Weber | ... | Pete Weber | |
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Lilly Rich | ... | Young Cassie |
MacLeod Andrews | ... | Stan / Satan | |
Wil Heuser | ... | Video Store Customer |
SPLIT is a peek into the life of Cassie, an over-achiever with a thing for bowlers whose life takes an unexpected turn when she reads a strangely ominous statistic in the local newspaper as her 30th birthday looms. Chronically absent and infamously eccentric, her recently deceased, professional bowler father has left her with not only a freeloading mother on her couch, but an undying notion in her head that in order to live up to her own "above average" standards, she has just under a month to meet and marry the man of her dreams. Despite pleas from her friends, she begins to hatch a plan, but a fateful run in at her local lanes makes her wonder what she really wants - the 7... or the 10? Written by Split Movie
I'd like to preface my post by stating this is my first post. I say that not to be like that corny Facebook troll who gets a hard on with having no life, but to let you understand I created an account ONLY to review this movie in the hopes that I save your eyes the massacre that is this movie. Just like the previous user, I was swindled into watching this movie after hearing buzz about M Night Shamalyan's new thriller, and sat through this Snapchat story of a movie confused waiting for a genius plot twist to make sense of this keyboard mashing of a script. The characters are creepy enough that you're waiting for a murder and the writing is so odd you are anticipating some sort of mental hospital twist. I felt like this was a high school project idea as a scheme to make a quick buck in hopes of pulling the old bait and switch. I've watched paint dry with more character development. I urge you to stub your toe repeatedly for an hour and a half, listen to nails on a chalk board for 90 minutes, or even listen to a Donald Trump press conference as all are somehow a more enjoyable use of your time. I wholeheartedly agree with the previous user's comment that the positive reviews on this post must be friends, family, or blackmailed on a golden shower tape because it is preposterous to conceive any human who could type a review could process this soccer dad trying out his new camcorder of an eye f*ck as anything other than cruel and unusual punishment deserves some sort of an investigation.
P.S. John Oliver, if you see this, I'd love an interview #NatesMovieReviews #HireMe