Ted 2 (2015) Poster


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Spared For The Laughs
billygoat107126 July 2015
Ted 2 now focuses on the titular anthropomorphic teddy bear in, having his own life of marriage and plans ahead of getting a non-biological child. This leads to a strangely interesting conflict about gaining civil rights to a teddy bear. And it's stranger that at some point the movie does take it somewhat seriously, and eventually goes back to its crass hijinks. It's nice, but nothing much compelling in the end, because what obviously overshadows it is definitely the outrageous laughs. But even the degree of laughs suffers the same problem; it's full of energy at first then it awkwardly mutes its lighter tone for its climax. Fans of the first may get the same pleasure that they seek, but there is really nothing special to it, either.

The first half really has the strongest amount of funny moments and also brought some intrigue to the story's center. But the movie apparently cannot decide what exact approach it is generally taking. The outrageous comedy is still everywhere, but whenever it stops by focusing on its themes, it really takes it seriously, like it actually believes that it is saying something important. But the movie hardly earns anything to deserve that attention. It's just shifting from its outrageous nature to a sudden gravity back and forth. Even for a comedy that is actually just fooling around, it stills displays a mind of uncertainty. There is also some bits of attempting to replicate Broadway; with dance numbers and a song. Can't tell if that's one of the movie's way of tripping or the director just wants to show off that he can do a musical. Either way, it rather feels nothing more than a random filler. The movie is also a little too long, the movie hitting the same major problem of the first film by setting up a climax that it's supposed to drive tension. It never felt right for the film, even worse, it's more like a rehash, reintroducing the same villain except it takes place in a different location. It's rather awkward and tedious than effective.

The sentiment doesn't felt convincing enough for the movie's true colors, but then it's all about the humor. And if the humor works, then there is a worthy roar of laughter to get from this film. Predictably raunchy, pot fueled and consists pop culture references; that will certainly be enjoyed if you understand the language of a Seth MacFarlane comedy. It's fun if it really tries to be fun. The performances from its lead actors are still a joy to watch. MacFarlane still manages to put energy to the talking teddy bear and Mark Wahlberg is still committed to fool around as Ted's man child best friend.

Ted 2 doesn't bring the same surprise of the first one, but if you're in for more outrageous laughs from this profane talking teddy bear, then it won't be a problem, as long as you're not expecting too much. The film does try to bring on an important theme, but it's not as effective or as strong as it wanted to be; it does make some interesting arguments, just doesn't have any powerful or at least earned conclusion to it; but hell, who would exactly take that seriously, anyway? Well, no more than the movie itself. It should have been shorter, the storyline should have been tighter, and the third act should have tried harder than repeating its predecessor. Again, it can be really funny, it just suffers handling its ideas better.
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Raises way more questions about human rights than any Seth Macfarlane production should, and that's not a bad thing...
kieranbattams9 July 2015
In 2012 when Seth Macfarlane's directorial debut was released, I, like many other people enjoyed it a lot. It was a basic film about a man and his senile teddy bear who would just smoke weed, swear a lot and hang out. That premise was enough to get us on board and it worked for a one off feature film. After the box office success it received a sequel was inevitable.. but how could a film with such a premise possibly do anything more to become a franchise? Well not only does Ted 2 ramp up the laughs, it also gives us a surprisingly strong plot and pulls it off well.

The basic premise is that Ted has married Tammi-Lynn from the first film, whereas John has divorced Lori. Following some marital problems, Ted decides to save his marriage with a baby, but in order to do this he has to prove that he is a person and not just property in the eyes of the law. Enter Sam L. Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) and yes as you would expect there are many references to the Hollywood star. I knew Mila Kunis was not coming back for this film and after her performance in the lacklustre 'A million ways to die in the West' i was not expecting Seyfried to be a good replacement, but she fits in with the cast very well. Just like the first film the chemistry between John (Mark Wahlberg) and Ted (Seth Macfarlane) is what makes the comedy work so well, you really believe you are watching two real life friends hang out, rather than Mark Wahlberg and a CGI teddy bear. The plot wasn't what made the first so enjoyable, it was their bond. Amanda Seyfried fits in with these two so well and as a trio they really mesh well together. She brings a lot of laughs to the table and I actually liked her character more than Mila Kunis'.

Whilst the plot is very good and holds up, the third act takes a bit of a plunge and almost copies the last act of the first film completely. Giovanni Risbi reprises his role as Donny and does exactly what he did originally, just for a slightly different reason. The film could have done without this to focus more on the human elements, even though it was hilarious to see Ninja turtle Raphael dance to 'I think we're alone now'. It almost felt like filler to make a longer movie. The small road trip segment to me was great, we got spoofs of both Planes, Trains and Automobiles and a great Jurassic Park spoof in the space of a couple of minutes. In fact the pop culture references from Rocky to Flash Gordon (Sam J Jones returns) were pretty great. I also loved the courtroom scenes, and even Morgan Freeman in an extended cameo provided us with a very good look at what human rights are all about.

What i wanted from this film was to laugh, which i did, a lot more than i expected to as well which is a bonus. Look out for a hysterical cameo from Liam Neeson. The 'is Ted a human' storyline felt like a bold and wonderful step forward and brings up way more questions about human rights than any Seth Macfarlane production should.. but not in a bad way at all. It focuses a lot less on the drugs and crude jokes, even though they are very much still there! But the way it was executed was just great. I wish the third act had stuck with it, but by the end if you are a fan of Seth Macfarlane's work such as Family Guy you will come out satisfied after plenty of laughs and a surprising amount of heart. Will we get a Ted 3? Most likely, but if it keeps up what Ted 2 did right then i just might be okay with that.
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Good one-liners and gags, zero plot.
jpb0072 July 2015
If there was a 6.5, I would give it. Because there was a lot to like in this movie. I like Mark Wahlberg. I like the bear. I like Amanda Seyfried. And there were a lot of good laughs in this movie. Good one-liners, and good recurring gags.

However, it just wasn't enough to make up for a horrible plot. The plot is lifted from "Miracle on 43rd Street." But it is not Christmas, Ted is not Santa. Somehow Ted does not rise to the mythical level of Santa, this is not a movie for kids. and the movie falls flat. Markie Mark is same as ever, and I do enjoy him. Kudos to Amanda Seyfried, who tries so hard to make the romance story line work. But I could never get past the fact that I was watching MW and AS and a wise-cracking stuffed bear. Some good laughs? Yes. A good story? Not even close.
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Waiting for Ted 3
Prabhat_KS_172911 July 2015
I really can't understand why many critics went harsh on this one.

The film is jutted with quality humour - social, political and personal. It lives up to the expectations and doesn't slack anywhere at all. It makes us laugh but also makes us uneasy at times not because of crassness but because it reveals the underbelly of our social setup.

I am waiting for Ted 3 - I sincerely hope McFarlene considers it. Ted should run up for Governor or President. It will fit in nicely with the US presidentials in 2016 and should reveal the shallowness of modern political campaigning.

Go Seth go...
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Not so much stupid as boring with an occasional giggle
eran200021 July 2015
The truth is that Ted 1 exhausted itself right in the trailer and the rest of film was kind of superfluous, but it was cute to see a dumb summer movie that doesn't take itself too seriously and is occasionally funny. TED 2 on the other hand takes itself much too seriously in trying to deal with the humanity of Ted. Seriously, what can a potheads and fart jokes movie tell us about being human? Lots of recycled jokes from Ted 1 and Ted as the main comic attraction in the movie just doesn't work anymore. There are a few good jokes and visual gags as befitting a summer comedy, but the rest are only marginally funny with a boring movie plot that connects them. You can see it if you happen to be home and stoned with nothing better to do :)
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If you liked the 1st ted you'll love it, if you didn't well you won't like this one either.
himynameisart30 June 2015
Ted 2 lets talk about it! OK i saw this film 2 months ago at an early screening and unlike a few idiots on here i actually kept my mouth shut due to the embargo and quiet possibly getting sued if i let any info slip lol. Anyways i ENJOYED this movie a ton!!! Let's get one thing straight here, if you didn't like the 1st TED or you don't like anything Seth Mcfarlane related then STAY AWAY! This movie isn't for you and it won't change your mind about anything. I LOVED the first ted and i knew that this movie might be a weak sequel like most sequels are now in days...... and surprise, surprise it actually exceeded my expectations. Ted 2 is almost as good as the first! ALMOST! One of my concerns was the cast change, i hate when movies replace or change characters in sequels. SO i felt that Mila Kunis's absence was going to be very obvious and there would be a hole in this movie that the new lead Amanda Seyfried just could not fill. AND another surprise! Her character worked to PERFECTION!!! The chemistry that she had with Mark Wahlberg and Seth Mcfarlane was just amazing. I was like "there's no way she could be better than Mila" and BOOM she nailed it.

The story most of you may already know from the trailers, Ted gets married and then the State says Ted is property and not a person so the marriage is annulled and he basically loses everything. So the story worked, the first movie focused more on John and this one is more about ted. I had no real complaints with this film, there is a cameo with Liam Neeson which IMO was just pointless and not that funny.... There are some moments where they try too hard with the jokes or to be shocking but Besides a few nitpicks i had no complaints with this movie! It is laugh out loud funny, it has serious moments similar to the first and it's just a fun film! There are some returning characters and i won't spoil that. And ohh yeah the Comic Con scene in this film with Patrick Warburton and the running gag they have going on is SUPER HILARIOUS!!! I'm giving TED 2 an 8.5/10.
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An average comedy that doesn't hit the levels of the first film
alindsay-al18 July 2015
After seeing the first ted film I was hugely excited for this film while also being a bit nervous because sequels of comedies are never usually as good and this one follows that tradition. The premise of this film sees Ted and John attempting to get Ted's civil rights so he and Tammy Lynn can have a baby. Now Seth McFarlane plays the voice of Ted and just like the first film he is great in this film as the voice of this foul mouthed teddy bear. Some of the things he says is hilarious and he even makes you care about this bear because he is so lovable. Mark wahlberg returns as John and once again he and Ted's chemistry is off the charts and is probably the best part of the film. Also wahlberg shows off his comedic chops in this film and it really does work. Amanda seyfried joins the cast in this film and she was also really good in this film and made me laugh. She also fits in really well in this film with John and Ted. However, I didn't feel the character of Tammy Lynn was that good and I just didn't feel like her character was funny in this film which didn't help. Also for some weird reason Giovanni ribisi is back in his role from the first film and it felt completely forced and completely unnecessary. Now what I liked about the first film is that even though it was a comedy it had a heart felt story to it that makes you care about the characters. This film is all over the place with its narrative structure and I felt like the story was really forgotten about and nobody cared about it. It could have been interesting but it didn't have the substance that it should have done. There was allot of funny dialogue in the film that will really make you laugh but there is also some dialogue that falls flat and you will just be sat there bored waiting for the next good joke that comes around. There is some really funny scenarios in this film with some good cameos but once again it just feels like it is a bunch of comedy skits and nothing to go with the cameos. Overall this is an average comedy that you won't really care to see again.
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Better to stare at the wall than watch Ted 2
pawel-lipko14 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
The first Ted I saw was a brilliant comedy with great idea of showing a toy for little children playing a role of a s*x dr*gs'n'rock&roll guy. There was some jokes which hit my taste & were too disgusting - but overall whole movie was hilarious. Ted 2 - unfortunately has got the opposite proportion of these, being mostly disgusting with awkward jokes making me ill at ease. Scenes like a trying to w*nk out a person to get his sp*rm (Ted tries to have a baby) or John being weighed down by a cabinet full of sem*n containers (in a sp*rm bank)... and covered with... it... Just awful. I've seen some movies with kinda same sort of humor like: Borat, Bruno & The Dictator for example. These were hilarious or something around that... But this one goes far far lower & seeks for the bottom... Not recommending
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Funniest Movie I have seen in a long time
lordxenucruise26 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I have not laughed in a theater that hard in I don't remember how long. It was funnier than the first. I am going to see it again. The jokes were disgusting but that is the point. If you liked the first one you will love this one. If you didn't you will still find yourself laughing despite yourself.When you find out the reason they cannot have kids it is funny to find out why a sperm donor won't work. When they see Ton Brady's equipment it is priceless. The twist at the end will have you wondering what the heck is going on but is funny as anything as well. The comicon seen with Patrick Warburton dressed up as The Tick (whom he did the voice for) was just spot on. The movie references sped at you one after another. I tried to keep track but I am sure there were a few I missed. Se how many you can spot.
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BETTER than the first one.
metallipowerman500027 June 2015
First off, the negative reviews are absolutely LAUGHABLE!...there's no way you can be a fan of Ted 1 and Family Guy and NOT like this movie, Period! (or you're lying about being a true Seth fan, because you'd Know what to expect from him) Ted 2 follows the exact SAME comedic formula as Ted 1! Lots of curse words and sex jokes and no holds barred, to the max! There are Lots of cameos, I was pretty shocked how many people Seth convinced to take part in this movie. The comedy is exactly what you'd expect... crude, nasty, no lines are drawn in the sand. There is obviously drug use and fights and arguments and downright touching moments to balance it all out, as well as plenty of adventure. The plot goes from serious to hilarious many times during the film. But why wouldn't anyone expect that, Ted 1 does the Same thing. Either way, If you're into crude humor that likes to intentionally cross lines and annoy the "politically correct", this movie is perfect. And there are TONS of "F bombs" in this movie...lots...obviously.
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Hilarious! Must watch!
aallahverdian30 June 2015
Usually we all know franchise movies tank after the first one. But this one surprisingly was extremely funny and fun to watch. I went into the movies with a negative expectation just due to previous franchised movie history. The jokes were just spot on, original, one after another. The entire theater was laughing and of their seats. I loved the first Ted and now I also love Ted 2 just as much. I would even watch it again if another friend wants to go watch it. Seth is such a talented comedian and to me he's work and sense of humor is amazing. I highly recommend watching this and promise that you wont be disappointed watching this movie. It is defiantly worth a trip to the movies with friends.
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Funnier then the first one kudos to seth mcfarlane
bogota90927 June 2015
Movie was hilarious, besides certain awkward scenes, especially the introduction they could of done without, mark Walberg: never considered him a funny actor. But he has done very well in this movie franchise, Seth Macfarlane is a talented comedian director and creator The girl from dear john did very well filling Mila Kunis shoes, usually sequels bomb!!! But not this film very impressed how funny it came out, story line was mediocre but funny scenes made up for it. Usually sequels are over budget big propaganda and it started at first but the funny dialogue and thr hilarious scenes made not only myself but the people at the movie theater, rotten tomatoes rated this a 4.0 what the hell do.they know they always give crappy rating for funny movies, and as soon as they get a check from a crappy movie they rate those high, they are a insult not only to me but to all the real movie buffs so sit back and Enjoy it people Mike Sanchez (popcorn n movie)
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Not as funny as the first, the magic is wearing off
abdelgulabkhan13 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I was so looking forward to Ted 2 after really enjoying the first one.

What a disappointment!

Basically Ted is married to a hot girl and tries to get a baby to save his marriage. However it all goes wrong and Ted is investigated and the state say he is not a person so he loses all his rights job and marriage. Ted than has a court battle to prove he is a person which he eventually wins with the help of John his best buddy and girlfriend lawyer. Such a boring plot really bad. The old enemy Donny tries to get Ted as he is regarded as just Property, in attempt to make Hasbro rich - this gets foiled by john who saves Ted

There are some funny bits to the movie, like Jurassic park bit where they see cannabis field and some good one liners

However the film is looking and trying far too hard for jokes for every line in the movie - rather than naturally funny they try all the time to make one liners a lot of them not that funny.

The cute factor of Ted is wearing off and the magic too, I was so bored after the first hour I wanted to leave, the jokes and sarcasm were so predictable.

Hopefully no more Ted films but you can guarantee they will make Ted 3 just for the money.

Next time have a good plot and story this was very weak.
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Funnier and better than what I was expecting
Screen_Blitz29 June 2015
Seth MacFarlene, along with Mark Wahlberg returns as the trash-talking teddy bear who brought the laughs and fun in this sequel to 2012's hit comedy Ted. Mila Kunis, however, was unable to return as Mark Wahlberg's girlfriend from the first film. This time around, Ted has married Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), his feisty girlfriend from the first film. One year's passes by, they begin dealing with marital problems until Ted hatches an idea for them to have a baby, hoping it would solve marriage problems. His plans only ends harder than he expected. To make matter worse, the government rules that Ted is not a human citizen, which results in him losing his jobs, losing his bank account, and having his marriage with Tami-Lynn annulled. In attempt to get his life back together, Ted and his buddy John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) get help from a lawyer named Sam (Amanda Seyfried) for a court case to prove he should be considered human.

After seeing the first film, I was more than excited for a sequel. As most sequels to comedies go, I didn't expect this to be as good as the first one. However, it ended being almost as good as the first film. It contained plenty of hilarious dialogue that had me laughing almost constantly. Yes, the dialogue is pretty raunchy and vulgar like it was in the first film, or perhaps even more so. Nonetheless, I was satisfied with it. The gags were pretty funny, especially during the scene when Ted and John were visiting the hospital to get sperm for Ted's baby. There are a few gross-out scenes that may not be funny to everyone, the hospital scene being a perfect example. Ted was funny as ever and often stole the show with his off-the-wall humor. Mark Wahlberg was also quite funny as well, perhaps even more so than in the first movie. In this one, his character is even more dumb and often lead Ted and himself into the most hysterical and unpleasant shenanigans. I also pleased by the casting of Amanda Seyfried as the lawyer who helps John and Ted during their mission. I think her character was very clever and well written, even if she wasn't as funny as Ted and John. The storyline was okay, even though I felt that the film could had a better plot.

This film may have gotten mixed reviews, but I think it deserves higher. If you loved the first film, there is a very good chance you will enjoy this one. Even if it may not level with the first one, it is still worth seeing.
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Funny Bear
supatube25 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
"Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law." The subtext for this film is rich and one could easily equate Ted's dilemma with most minorities. And the heavy subject matter is handled with crass humor and over the top stoner gems. Did I mention the bear likes to get high?

Seth Mac Farlane is known for wit from the TV shows "Family Guy" and "American Dad" and his step into feature films have, at least from my behalf, always been interesting to watch. He tackled his first feature film, sans the Family Guy characters, "Ted" then moved onto, "A Million Ways to die in the West" and now "Ted 2". His style of humour includes jokes without the drum roll to let the audience know that was a punchline. It's the sitcom without the laughing. Most audiences need to know when the end of the joke has arrived and the lack thereof is a MacFarlane trade that works so well, at least for the fans. And if you're a fan then this second run at the inappropriate little teddy is well worth it.

The reference to Amanda Seyfried's eyes (again) is golden. In the western film, "A Million Ways to die in the West", is this hilarious scene where Charlize Theron can't believe Amanda is so blind with eyes that big. It makes me laugh just thinking about it. Now in "Ted 2" they dig even deeper with a visual comparison that leaves me laughing as I write. Keep your eyes out for it.

The film did have one too many unnecessary establishing shots, which merely drags a film. Trimming the fat would have made the films pace so much more enjoyable. Here's an example: they're in the hospital room, something goes wrong and they need to move to the waiting room, then there's the establishing shot of the hospital and to the waiting room. The establishing shot was unnecessary because we already know we're in a hospital. Just trim the fat.

Other than that Ted 2 is very enjoyable. A great crude comedy that is relentless with the jokes finding ways to pull a giggle from the audience at every given chance.
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This movie is terrifically funny.
PWNYCNY6 July 2015
This movie is terrifically funny. It provokes laughter from start to finish. It is virtually impossible not to like the character Ted - A teddy bear that wants to be treated like a human. Simple ideas make for great stories as this movie proves. Mark Wahlberg is the straight man and shows that he is one of the great comic actors. What is more remarkable is that the story is actually a court room drama, but involving characters that are so ridiculously lovable as to transform the story into a spoof, which works as comedy. Everything Ted says is funny and on point. There is an edge to the humor, which makes it even funnier. Just because Ted is a toy doesn't mean he lacks feelings. Ted is whatever we want him to be.
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Way more entertaining than I expected
Gordon-1129 June 2015
This film tells the story of a talking teddy bear who sues the government, so that he gets recognised as a human being and get human rights such as marriage and drivers license.

"Ted 2" is a hugely politically incorrect film, with a lot of swearing, sexual and crude humour. It is not usually a type of film I like, but "Ted 2" does have a way to get to my heart. It is sweet and emphasises a lot of love and friendship. Towards the end, the film gets very touching, and it made my eyes well up.

Having a touching plot, together with a funny script makes "Ted 2" very entertaining, way more entertaining than I expected.
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As good as the first one!
raz-boy25 June 2015
As we know from experience the sequels to this type of movies are usually not even slightly close to being as good as the original, and are much worse. "Ted 2" was not the case for me. Really enjoyed watching this movie! Most of the jokes were really funny and not forced. Like the first one the movie has a couple of absolutely hilarious cameos!

Amanda Seyfried was a great addition. She is really funny and plays a much bigger role in the movie then I expected. I really bought the chemistry between all three main characters. The movie has a lot of heart, and you can feel that these friends really really love and care about each other.

My main and probably the only problem with the film was that it was a little too long. Many scenes were dragged out and definitely could use some fat cutting.

Overall, very funny! Still can't decide which one of the two movie I liked more.
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"Ted 2"? The same fun as "Ted" x2!
CleveMan6626 June 2015
Seth McFarlane is going to hell. But me and millions of others will be right there with him. In "Ted 2" (R, 1:55), the writer-director-star uses almost every "bad word" in the English language, glorifies illicit drug use, makes about the crudest jokes imaginable, offends groups of different races, ethnic persuasions and sexual orientations and indirectly makes fun of several tragic news stories from the past decade and a half. And most of it is absolutely hilarious. You might say that he had me and the rest of the non-stuffed animals in the theater… in stitches.

"Ted 2" picks up a few years after the story in McFarlane's 2012 surprise hit "Ted" left off. Man-child John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) is six months divorced from Lori Collins, his girlfriend in the first movie, as John's living teddy bear and best friend Ted (played again by Seth McFarlane using his voice and motion capture technology) is about to marry Tami-Lynn McCafferty (Jessica Barth), his girlfriend from the last movie. It's not long before Ted and Tami-Lynn are having problems. The financial strain of living off of their incomes as grocery store cashiers, while wanting more, is leading to some nasty arguments. Ted decides that having a baby will bring them closer together and Tami-Lynn is all in.

But there's a challenge. Ted, lacking the requisite anatomy to turn such a dream into a reality, needs a sperm donor. When three separate attempts at getting a donor go hilariously and disturbingly wrong, Ted and Tami-Lynn decide to adopt. Their application is disapproved because it calls attention to the fact that Ted is not technically a person. He had been living a relatively normal life (for a crude, rude, foul-mouthed, pot-smoking, stuffed bear), but now he's in danger of losing everything he is, does and cares about. It seems the only answer is to sue the government for his civil rights. Inexperienced, pop-culturally illiterate lawyer Samantha L. Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) takes the case.

John is right at Ted's side through all the little guy's challenges in this movie ("thunder buddies for life"!) and they're both as incorrigible as in the previous movie, mocking each other's misfortunes, playing pranks on each other, occasionally fighting, and often smoking weed, drinking and making comments and behaving in ways that would be considered highly inappropriate in polite society. Fortunately for us, they don't care much about being polite, and fortunately for them, Samantha bonds with them both and gives her all to representing them in court. The story draws parallels to the historic struggle for black civil rights and the current struggle for gay rights, but mainly Ted just wants to be declared a person so he can live his life. It's a tall order from such a short bear. His case is completely unprecedented, plus, plotting and waiting for Ted to lose his case and be regarded as no more than property is his old enemy Donny (Giovanni Ribisi), who is making some plans of his own with one pretty powerful person.

Throughout the movie, we're treated to all manner of crass and politically incorrect humor, along with great supporting turns by Patrick Warburton as a gay bully, Morgan Freeman as a famous civil rights lawyer, and "Flash Gordon" actor Sam Jones as himself, plus hilarious cameos by, among others, Tom Brady and Liam Neeson. And since this movie comes from the mind of the man who created TV's "Family Guy", there are pop culture and historical references galore, including songs, TV shows and movies from several different decades, helped to no small degree by a key scene at a New York City Comic-Con, with most of the participants dressing as their favorite comic book or sci-fi characters. Oh, and when the movie's "over", be sure to stay to the very end of the credits. Trust me.

"Ted 2" is one of those rare sequels that is better than the original. The movie has enough plot and enough jokes for two movies. If you're open-minded enough to check your attitudes toward impropriety at the door, you'll likely agree that much more of the humor hits than misses. You'll probably end up liking these characters and laughing at their antics in spite of yourself (and in spite of any fear that both you and the film's creator will be subject to eternal damnation for being party to such humor). I hope that if you see this movie, you'll agree with my assessment, but if not, as Ted might say, "F--- you! I write these reviews for free! I don't need this s---! I'm outta here!" But you'll have to forgive Ted. The bear has no filter. I will simply and politely end this review by giving "Ted 2" an "A-". Take it or leave it, people! (Sorry.)
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Hilarious Teddy Tale
zardoz-133 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
The last thing Hollywood wants to do is either insult or offend individuals, groups, races, religions, causes, genders, and ideologies with their films. The refreshing thing about the hilarious teddy bear satire "Ted" and its unapologetic sequel "Ted 2" is that neither have any such compunctions. Seth MacFarlane, who co-scripted, directed, and provided the titular teddy bear's voice, spends most of "Ted 2" saying and showing subject matter most respectable people would think twice about before either saying or showing. Like its iconoclastic predecessor, "Ted 2" bears an R-rating for what the Motion Picture Association of America considers "crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use." The subversive humor either will make you cringe in horrific revulsion or howl in gleeful elation. If you enjoyed "Ted" with its cretinous heroes, beyond borderline gross out humor, wanton drug abuse, and impertinent profanity, you'll love this high-brow sequel. The worst thing you can say about "Ted 2" is it is pretentious from start to finish. Clearly, MacFarlane and "Family Guy" co-scribes Alec Sulken and Wellesley Wild sought to overshadow the lowbrow original, and they have triumphed in this respect. If you haven't seen "Ted," you probably won't understand half of the hilarity. During a thunderstorm, young John Bennett clutched his Hasbro teddy and made a wish it would come to life, and it did! Subsequently, they became "thunder buddies for life." Virtually everybody from "Ted" reprises their roles in "Ted 2," except Mila Kunis. According to the Internet Movie Database, Kunis didn't return as Lori because she was pregnant during the production with Ashton Kutcher's baby. Meantime, MacFarlane and his co-scribes explain that John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg of "Contraband") and she divorced for six months before the outset of the action. A dejected John is petrified of getting himself involved in another relationship and his life has spiraled out of control. Meantime, Ted and Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth of "Next") marry, but their marriage has degenerated into a disaster. They argue about finances, throw things, and Ted cusses out their neighbors. At the supermarket where Ted works as a cashier, an obese African-American cashier advises him that the best way to restore a marriage is to have a baby. Tami-Lynn breaks her angry vow of silence with Ted after he tells her they must have a baby, and they celebrate their momentous decision.

Sadly, neither are prepared for the trials and tribulations that ensue. Since the toy company Hasbro didn't endow Ted with sex organs, our hero must search for the ideal sperm donor. They approach Flash (Sam J. Jones), but he complains about his low sperm count. John suggests Patriots' quarterback Tom Brady. Now, things get really bizarre. John and Ted sabotage Brady's air conditioner so he has to sleep with his bedroom balcony windows open. These two nitwits set out to obtain a sperm sample from Brady while he is asleep! Ted decks himself out like a seafaring fisherman for the occasion, and John is appalled to learn that he must masturbate Brady. Fortunately, for everybody involved, Brady awakens in time and throws them out. Johnny offers to help Ted, and they enter a fertility clinic. A comedy of errors occurs when John tips over a storage bin of sperm samples accidentally and gets covered with sperm. Nevertheless, everything goes awry when Tammy-Lynn's physician (Dennis Haysbert) informs her that she devastated her reproductive system abusing narcotics. Ultimately, Ted learns the State of Massachusetts no longer recognizes his status as a person so they cannot adopt a child. Furthermore, the court has invalidated their marriage. Ted and John seek legal representation. The best they can afford is 26-year old Samantha Leslie Jackson (Amanda Seyfried of "Les Misérables"), a freshman attorney who smokes a bong to counteract the ill effects of migraines. Predictably, since Ted and John are still getting wasted, several scenes of euphoric pot-smoking ensue, with our heroes and heroine smoking in public places, too.

Just when everything appears to be working out favorably for our heroes, the villainous Donnie from "Ted" surfaces. Donnie (Giovanni Ribisi of "Public Enemies") has gotten a job as a janitor now at Hasbro. He interrupts Hasbro executive Tom Jessup (John Carroll Lynch of "Zodiac") during a hallway conference and tells him that he doesn't flip the cakes in his urinal. Instead, he replaces them. Naturally, Jessup doesn't know what to make of this sinister cretin. Later, Donnie has a moment with Jessup in Jessup's office because Hasbro has an open-door policy with its employees. The news is out that Ted is going to court to determine what his status in society is. Donnie tells Jessup if the prosecution can prove that Ted is actually property rather than a person, they can abduct him with minor legal consequences, slice him open, and fathom what makes Ted so singular. Jessup's eyes gleam at the prospect of eviscerating Ted so Hasbro can manufacture a new teddy that will sell millions.

Mind you, Ted the talking teddy still looks as adorable as he did in first film. You never get the impression the cast was interacting with nothing when the CGI Ted was on-screen with them. While Ted dominates the action with his woes, Mark Wahlberg's John stands out as his best friend. Until "Ted" and now again with "Ted 2," Wahlberg has deviated rarely from playing a straight-up, conventional, role model, W.A.S.P. protagonist. As he did initially with "Ted," Wahlberg appears to be poaching on Adam Sandler territory with some of his absurd antics. The splashy scene in the sperm facility and the loony episode in Tom Brady's mansion make John the butt of the jokes, and Wahlberg displays no inhibitions to playing second banana to Ted while ridiculing himself in the process. The dialogue again qualifies as quotable material with politically incorrect meanings. Although the sight gags are amusing, this above-average gross-out comedy serves up some pretty impudent shenanigans. Indeed, if vulgar humor poses no problems, "Ted 2" is right for you.
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Best comedy in a while
emi-parkour1 July 2015
Sometimes I don't understand why comedies have such bad ratings. I think that is because people want too much from comedies. They are a specific genre just like Action, Sci-fi, Drama etc. And what is the main thing this genre needs to produce? It needs to produce fun! It needs to make you laugh. It doesn't need to have great plots, twists, actions and such. I rate comedies on how much they made me laugh. I look at this genre in another way than other genres. And trust me, this movie made laugh more than a few times. It had great jokes, to be honest with you. It referenced movies from the past and made jokes about them. It was really fun from the very beginning to the end. I didn't get bored, not even a little bit. It exceeded my expectations because the first Ted movie wasn't that funny. Well this one is twice as good. I never thought that I would give a 9/10 for this movie but it was really funny, it made me laugh so many times and I haven't seen such a good comedy in a while. So if you want to forget about everyday problems and if you want to laugh and have fun, I recommend you to watch this movie. :D
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Unfunny Waste of time
himself21211 July 2015
Let me start by saying that i had an open mind when i first walked into this film. I heard that the first movie was supposed to be really good, even though i had not seen it. i'm glad i didn't throw away time on the first one either. this movie is basically a really long, and unfunny episode of family guy. It was filled with immature poop jokes and sexual references, that are funny to all the immature 5 year olds in the audience. If they wanted to make money from this "film" (Dare it be called one), they should've pitched it to young adults and kids, and made it PG-13. Because i'm not sure what kind of immature adults would want to watch a teddy bear curse and make poop jokes. Let me also state that i actually like Family Guy. i think its a really funny and well written show. But the writers of this, must have been on crack when they made it. Overall, i think Ted is way too over hyped and un-funny. It's a mess of stupid and unfunny jokes, that'll only have the 5 year olds laughing hysterically.
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Not bad per se, but lacks the novelty, likability of characters, storyline, and strong female role of the original.
MovieAddict201611 July 2015
I'm not the biggest fan of Mila Kunis, nor am I a huge fan of Seth MacFarlane. But despite my hesitations, I liked the original Ted quite a bit, for a variety of reasons; despite its obvious crudeness, it had some character development and poignancy that the film medium was able to afford MacFarlane that a TV cartoon wasn't able to. As much of an ostensibly "bro" movie as it was, it had some subversive commentary on the male id, and Mila Kunis' character was written quite well; she didn't come across as the harping, shrill female stereotype so often seen in movies about male arrested development (see: "Saving Silverman"). For every time Wahlberg and his teddy bear seemed to have a valid reason to continue their destructive friendship, she had an equally valid reason that they shouldn't.

How disappointing, then, that Ted 2 opens with Kunis' character lazily written off, discarded by Wahlberg's character as "the wrong woman" (or something to such an effect) so that MacFarlane can introduce a new love interest in the form of Amanda Seyfried, who is a fine actress in better written roles but simply isn't given the same level of material to work with here.

The other memorable aspect of Ted was simply the novelty factor: "potty-mouthed teddy bear." This was a simple premise that appealed to everyone everywhere, which is why it was one of the rare blockbuster comedies to make a lot of money overseas.

But now we have Ted 2, and the novelty is worn off. The balance of the first film is gone, too; the crudeness there was offset with surprisingly sweet, character-driven moments; here, because we don't really believe the characters from the onset (see: Kunis' character being shrugged off), there really aren't as many tender moments. None of it really rings true, it just seems like a typical sequel going through the motions trying to replicate the original but inevitably failing to do so simply because the appeal is a one-off (it kind of reminds me of the Hangover sequels).

Like the Hangover sequels, this isn't as bad as the critics might lead you to believe. It's not a terrible film. It's safe to say that, if you liked the original Ted, you'll at least find this an entertaining enough diversion for a one-time viewing. I also dug that they brought back Giovanni Ribisi, the best part of the first film, despite the fact that his inclusion made no sense whatsoever.

But this simply isn't as clever, funny, well-written or - frankly - surprisingly tender and sweet as the first movie. It's a decent rental but I hope there's no Ted 3.
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Funny but the plot develops poorly.
Bruce7224 July 2015
Ted 2 does exactly what it set out to do. It delivers a bunch of laughs built primarily on crude, in-your-face humor and it doesn't take itself too seriously. Seth MacFarlane proves once again that he has his finger firmly on the pulse of his target demographic because the theater was in stitches throughout most of the film. That being said, a comedy doesn't have to sacrifice cinema in order to deliver laughs. I think the first movie was a prime example of that, as it was a genuinely good movie in addition to being hilarious. Instead, MacFarlane turns this movie into a live-action version of Family Guy. The plot is choppy and it essentially feels like a series of random skits, pieced together to form the semblance of some over-arcing plot. It was easily worth watching because it was hilarious but I expected a quality film closer to that of the first one.
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2 Hours of Rejected Family Guy Jokes and Stale Pop-Culture References
RustyShacklefordd26 June 2015
I thought the first Ted was decent, enjoyed the first few seasons of Family Guy, and love American Dad. Hell, I even thought A Million Ways to Die in the West was OK. With that said, I thought this was horrible! The first half hour or so was decent, some good jokes and cameos. However, once Amanda Seyfried and the whole plot with Ted trying to be recognized as a citizen starts, it's all downhill from there.

This almost feels like less than a movie than 2 hours of rejected Family Guy jokes and stale pop-culture references. The writing here is incredibly lazy and several jokes are repeated multiple times throughout the entire film. Like the first film, there are also a few jokes that are taken straight out of Family Guy. There's even one joke at the end that's taken right from Dumb & Dumber To. My biggest problem though is the fact that it's 2 HOURS when there is absolutely no reason it needs to be! The whole subplot with Giovanni Ribisi served no purpose to the film what so ever and could have easily been cut out and the whole Road Trip segment just felt like an excuse for a really lame weed joke and to crowbar in Seyfried's song. Wahlberg's character and Ted were a lot more annoying and douchier as well which didn't help. I also didn't like how the film shoves in this whole message about Civil Rights after spending nearly 2 hours making a ton of crappy race and gay jokes. That just felt smug of MacFarlane to do.

Overall, this was a painfully unfunny and incredibly lazy sequel. Even if you are a fan of the first, I wouldn't recommend it. I saw it with a group of 6 people and none of us liked it. It's stuff like this that really shows that MacFarlane can be a bit of a hack if you ask me.
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