2.2/10
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23 user 6 critic

Jack the Giant Killer (2013)

Not Rated | | Action, Fantasy | 12 March 2013 (USA)
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A giant beanstalk brings Jack to a land in the clouds filled with snarling, evil beasts. When the creatures make their way to the ground, Jack must figure out how to get back down before they destroy earth and everyone in it.

Director:

Mark Atkins

Writer:

Mark Atkins (screenplay)
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Jane March ... Serena
Ben Cross ... Agent Hinton
Jamie Atkins Jamie Atkins ... Jack Krutchens
Harry Dyer ... Newald Krutchens
Vicki Glover ... Lisa Russell
Julian Boote ... Nigel Mason
Tanya Winsor ... Sharon Mason
Nigel Peever ... Oscar Madison
Robert Boyle Robert Boyle ... Staff Sergeant Sam Jones
Noel Ross Noel Ross ... Constable Milton
Jon Campling ... Jess Walters
Steve McTigue ... General O'Shauncey
Gemma Lawman ... Hero Woman
Dylan Jones ... Agent Jones
Dennis Carr Dennis Carr ... Simkins
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Storyline

A giant beanstalk brings Jack to a land in the clouds filled with snarling, evil beasts. When the creatures make their way to the ground, Jack must figure out how to get back down before they destroy earth and everyone in it.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Jack went up the beanstalk, and brought down Hell.

Genres:

Action | Fantasy

Certificate:

Not Rated | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

View content advisory »
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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

12 March 2013 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

G-War - La Guerre des Géants See more »

Company Credits

Production Co:

The Asylum See more »
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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Released on March 12th, 2013 to capitalize on Jack the Giant Slayer (2013), which was released in the U.S. on March 1st, 2013. See more »

Quotes

Lisa Russell: Jack! You have to kick its ass.
Jack Krutchens: I know.
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Connections

Referenced in Atlantic Rim (2013) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Utter Garbage From Start To Finish
18 March 2013 | by parodyreviewsSee all my reviews

What a sad state of affairs when Asylum (the makers of this sad little tale) throws out garbage like this with a cast of people who aren't even trained in the art of acting. Wow, they must have taken the directors wife and kid hostage to make him do it. One consolation, this film of inferior quality should only have taken a couple of weeks to throw together so no real harm done.

The story starts of with some Real Steal rip off material as Jack is fixing his robot (I know, lol...I don't remember Aliens style robots in any other version of Jack...Beanstalk before!) while struggling to say his lines and use his hands at the same time. lol yes, I remembered a classic bit of acting when we first see the ridiculous beanstalk in a field. There is a cop standing there with a very small crowd of people and he's right in front of them saying "nothing to see here, move along", I was like WTF! Nothing to see? Also the way he was holding this crowd of 4 people back was stupid. They are in a field and can stand anywhere but chose to all squeeze in front of the only cop there. Another thing is, when Jack gets nabbed by the tree branch thing and gets taken up in front of everyone. Not one person seems to notice it happening!! Garbage, garbage, garbage.

I don't do the "this is the worst film ever" speech because it's cliché and rarely true. I have to say though, it's damn close. The acting is atrocious, the editing looks like it was done by a crack addict badly needing a fix and the music, the mf'king music! Where in the hell did they dig it up from? It sounded a bit like those,(I'm not too sure of the name) Stylaphone? Is that the thing Rolf Harris used to advertise? Well, it sounded like that.

Not a film to be watched, even if your bored, drunk, high, low...in fact...just don't watch it. I did and I'm still queasy.


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