2.2/10
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23 user 6 critic

Jack the Giant Killer (2013)

Not Rated | | Action, Fantasy | 12 March 2013 (USA)
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A giant beanstalk brings Jack to a land in the clouds filled with snarling, evil beasts. When the creatures make their way to the ground, Jack must figure out how to get back down before they destroy earth and everyone in it.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
... Serena
... Agent Hinton
... Jack Krutchens
Harry Dyer ... Newald Krutchens
... Lisa Russell
... Nigel Mason
... Sharon Mason
... Oscar Madison
Robert Boyle ... Staff Sergeant Sam Jones
Noel Ross ... Constable Milton
... Jess Walters
Steve McTigue ... General O'Shauncey
... Hero Woman
... Agent Jones
Dennis Carr ... Simkins
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Storyline

A giant beanstalk brings Jack to a land in the clouds filled with snarling, evil beasts. When the creatures make their way to the ground, Jack must figure out how to get back down before they destroy earth and everyone in it.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Jack went up the beanstalk, and brought down Hell.

Genres:

Action | Fantasy

Certificate:

Not Rated | See all certifications »

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Details

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Release Date:

12 March 2013 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

G-War - La Guerre des Géants  »

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

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Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Whilst playing the character General O'Shauncy, Steve McTigue used his uncle's actual WWII whistle, carried by him when he won the Military Medal (MM) for Bravery in the Field at El Alamein in 1942. See more »

Quotes

Lisa Russell: Jack! You have to kick its ass.
Jack Krutchens: I know.
See more »

Connections

References Jack the Giant Slayer (2013) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Did someone buy a job lot of mismatched costumes and props?
15 March 2013 | by See all my reviews

While "The Ass-ylum" has become synonymous with poor quality film making and "Mockbusters" they really have plumbed the depths of crassness with this latest offering, their take on the "Jack and the beanstalk" story...

If you consider turning bad movies into drinking games please leave this one alone, you will be blind drunk before you get half way through this shambolic garbage...

What time period is this set in? You have modern helicopters and yet the police where Georgian uniforms, the army wear Dad's Army uniform cast offs and the absolute mismatch of props (Old Browning Camera Antiques et al) looks like they bought any old TAT from car boot sales in order to get props for this carbuncular waste of celluloid...

These people cannot even blame budget as an excuse, plenty of film makers have made much better and more entertaining movies with barely anything and as for the uniform gaffs fancy dress shops will hire out more convincing police uniforms...

As for the acting quality the amateur dramatic society known as "The Ass-ylum" somehow managed to cajole Ben Cross (Who in his time has done some real stinkers) into taking part in this debacle, I can only think that the negatives will be in the post Ben because I can only imagine that blackmail forced you into taking part in this monumentally bad garbage (I am sure your work on Banshee pays the bills)...

The rest of the cast are so cartoon like in their acting (Not that the cajoled Ben Cross is any better) that I have trouble wondering how the hell they got their "Equity Cards" to perform this steaming pile, maybe they are now handing out equity cards in cereal packets now?


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