6.4/10
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First Period (2013)

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New girl Cassie (Brandon Alexander III) and outcast Maggie (Dudley Beene) are easily the most awkward girls in high school. Together, they decide the way to win the hearts of the cute boys ... See full summary »

Director:

Charlie Vaughn
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Cast

Credited cast:
Brandon Alexander III Brandon Alexander III ... Cassie Glenn
Dudley Beene Dudley Beene ... Maggie
Lauren Rose Lewis ... Heather
Michael Turchin ... Dirk
Leigh Wakeford Leigh Wakeford ... Brett
Karli Kaiser ... Other Heather
Adrian Burks ... John
Cassandra Peterson ... Ms. Glenn
Jack Plotnick ... Mr. Klein
Diane Salinger ... Ms. Mallow
Judy Tenuta ... Madame Mulva
Tara Karsian ... Ms. Wood
Rebekah Kochan ... Jenny
Deven Green ... Mrs. Cranberry
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Kyle Blitch ... Jim Nast
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Storyline

New girl Cassie (Brandon Alexander III) and outcast Maggie (Dudley Beene) are easily the most awkward girls in high school. Together, they decide the way to win the hearts of the cute boys and popular girls is to come in first at the school talent show. But rivals Heather, Other Heather, and their popular boyfriends Brett and Dirk will stop at nothing to keep our heroes the laughing stock of the school. It's going to take makeovers, courage, and maybe even a little rapping to beat them in true 80s style. Written by Anonymous

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Genres:

Comedy

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Details

Official Sites:

Official Facebook | Official site | See more »

Country:

USA

Language:

English | Middle English

Release Date:

27 July 2013 (USA) See more »

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Color:

Color
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The opening credits were inspired by Saved by the Bell (1989). See more »

Goofs

The characters reference the movie "Ghost", which came out in 1990. This movie is set in the 1980s. See more »

Quotes

Maggie: I was going to let you park in my garage. Who knows, maybe even visit the garage around back? I don't know how sex works!
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Soundtracks

I Love You
Written by Matthew Carrier (as Carrier) and Josiah Hawley (as Hawley)
Performed by Josiah Hawley
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User Reviews

Insanely hilarious but also meaningful
6 June 2017 | by vchimpanzeeSee all my reviews

It is like, so totally the 80s. If you can't tell from the movies, celebrities and TV characters mentioned, or the girls in one scene wearing "Flashdance" outfits, certainly you can tell that a viral video of an embarrassing event meant for blackmail is not captured and sent using a phone, but collected as a series of still photos using a technology where you watch the photo appear on a white square that ejects after the photo is taken.

Cassie's mom has lost her job and returned with her teenage daughter to the town where they used to live. Cassie is the new kid at school, but this does not bother her. As she writes in her diary, narrating for us, she is very confident and feels very good about herself. Not that she has reason to: she looks and talks like an overweight drag queen. From the first word she speaks, you know a male actor is playing the part. But this is only a problem for narrow-minded people. She is a typical teenage girl, with clothes and bedroom décor that suggest early hot pink trailer trash. Cassie believes she will easily make friends with the popular kids and become popular herself.

This is not going to happen. Heather and Heather are the popular girls, and Dirk and Brett are their boyfriends. The guys seem nice but must do everything their girlfriends say. Dirk must take off his shirt whenever he has done something wrong, for example. Heather and Heather are unbelievably cruel, even going so far to state in class that all uggos and fatties need to make themselves look good or go away, so we can all be happy.

But Cassie isn't bothered. She meets Maggie, who is a lot like her. Well, not quite. Maggie also has a very masculine look and voice, but she is definitely a girl (at least that's what we're supposed to believe, even though we know for certain that's really a guy). However, Maggie seems happy but is very insecure and gullible, and easily persuaded to change her mind.

Why is a man teaching female anatomy? Even worse, he is about as sensitive and politically correct as Donald Trump. Maggie is asked to leave since the class is for girls. Maggie insists she is one. "For how long?" the insensitive teacher asks. Heather and Heather state their outrageous opinions while another girl speaks for the other side. The girls watch a film which starts out like those corny films every school child supposedly watched in the 50s, but it turns into a hilarious and bizarre mess that even includes Dracula. A separate Dracula, according to the credits, appears in one of Maggie's fantasies.

Despite the way they are being treated, Cassie and Maggie are determined to be popular. There is a talent show later in the week, and Maggie is quite a good rapper, even holding her own in a contest against John, who is African-American. Maggie is a little concerned that when white people do it, it's racist, but this does not seem to be a problem. Cassie doesn't really have a talent but she doesn't let that stop her. Plus she is determined to get everyone to come to her Sweet Sixteen, also later in the week.

Heather and Heather show signs of coming around to a kinder attitude, but you can almost be certain that when they are nice, they are plotting something (especially Heather). Dirk and Brett really are nice, and they end up dating the "freaks" after their girlfriends have supposedly broken up with them. I'm not really sure. Both guys are kind of dense. By the way, there are hints both guys might be bi and attracted to each other.

Cassie and Maggie endure ups and downs as they continue their quest to no longer be freaks. Both girls end up in embarrassing situations before an ending that is satisfying.

This is not your typical formula teen mean-girl movie, although after a while it does seem remarkably normal. Most of the leading actors do a really good job, and the two guys playing the female leads are among the best. At no time do they convince us that they are female, but that doesn't seem necessary. It does require imagination.

Cassandra Peterson, best known as Elvira, is so unbelievably nice and quite pretty as Cassie's mom. Mostly nice, anyway.

By the end of the movie, we have heard positive messages that give this movie some significance beyond being just silly, and we learn a lot about what made certain characters the way they are.

At first I was going to say that college students who need a safe place because they are easily offended should stay far away from this movie. But the Sue Sylvester level of cruelty doesn't last that long, and as I said before, later in the movie it's just the ordinary mean girl stuff. And most of the characters have the right attitude, at least by that time. Early in the movie, the combination of unbelievable confidence in the absence of a reason and unthinkable nastiness gives us hilarious results. The movie can't keep up that level of hilarity and it's just not funny at times later, but doesn't have to be. The seriousness is appropriate and needs to be.

Overall, it's wildly insane and certainly worth seeing.


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