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14 user 11 critic

The 12 Disasters of Christmas (2012)

It's Christmas Eve when an ominous dark star appears in the sky; could this star be a sign that Judgment Day is near? When massive earthquakes and natural disasters tear apart cities, it ... See full summary »

Director:

Steven R. Monroe
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Cast

Credited cast:
Ed Quinn ... Joseph
Magda Apanowicz ... Jacey
Holly Elissa ... Mary
Roark Critchlow ... Kane
Andrew Airlie ... Jude
Ryan Grantham ... Peter
Greg Kean Greg Kean ... Sheriff
Kaj-Erik Eriksen ... Aaron
Donnelly Rhodes ... Grant
Brenna O'Brien ... Elizabeth
Christine Willes ... Miriam
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Bernadette Beck ... Jane
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Storyline

It's Christmas Eve when an ominous dark star appears in the sky; could this star be a sign that Judgment Day is near? When massive earthquakes and natural disasters tear apart cities, it seems that the day of reckoning is upon us - and now a small band of heroes must come together to save the world! Written by Anonymous

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Plot Keywords:

disaster movie | See All (1) »


Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for some violence | See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

Canada | USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

8 December 2012 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

The 12 Disasters See more »

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Color:

Color
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The principal cast are named after biblical characters eg Mary, Joseph, Jude etc, all associated with Christmas. See more »

Goofs

When Joseph and Jude arrive at the mine, they are each riding a quad, which they park outside the gates. When Kane and Jude emerge from the mine, in the background you see only one quad. See more »

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User Reviews

 
Painful Waste of Time and CGI
9 December 2012 | by kat_astrophiSee all my reviews

Please do not consider wasting two whole hours of your life on this turd, possibly hoping (as I did) that it will fall into that 'so bad it's good' territory. This movie was so awful it skipped that category altogether and went straight into the land of 'forgettable and generic'. I'll try and go through methodically rather than just wax annoyed about this Syfy dud: PLOT/STORY- The film is a doomsday sci-fi story set in a small Northern town and based on the premise that the Mayans predicted the end times and then warned us using coded messages in the song "The 12 Days of Christmas." Yes, really, the one with the French hens. The writers waste no time in flinging far-fetched and mostly unexplained disasters at the characters, from hilariously fatal icicles to hurricanes to the dreaded Jello Sky only previously seen in Ghostbusters II. The characters are incredibly cartoonish (soulless corporate goons, rebellious teen girls, religious fruitcakes, the gang's all here!) and the writing is so weak in parts it is embarrassing to watch actual grown-ups act out clunky dialogue and a confusing narrative a fourth grader may as well have written. Which brings me to my next point.

ACTING- The film hangs its hat primarily on Jacey, a young girl with special powers, and her father, as they go through tired heroics trying to decipher a book of Mayan cartoons, save the world, and repair their strained relationship, natch. The actors here do little more than act as cardboard stand-ins for characters so flat and incomplete even THEY don't seem to believe them. I wasn't convinced that any of the people were in even the slightest bit of peril (and trust me, peril comes at every character from all sides) other than perhaps the dog, which had the good sense to leave early on before things got so bad that I had second-hand embarrassment for anyone who appeared on screen. Without spoiling anything, suffice to say that the best bits of acting (and I use that term loosely) are generally the people who display expressions of actual horror- as opposed to boredom- before they are dispatched of violently by the doom du jour.

MUSIC AND SOUND FX- Nothing special to see here; the film carries your typical Asylum-quality generic music tracks to try and amp up whatever terror or concern we're intended to feel, although I must say that occasionally you get a satisfying crunch or rip whenever a hapless townsperson is brutally killed because the Mayans got their panties in a bunch and we didn't pay enough attention to a Christmas song.

...In closing, yeah, it was just that bad. Also, here's a parting thought: we're meant to buy that Jacey and her family are descended from Mayan prophets, and their pale-Caucasian-small-Northern-town-ishness is hand waved by the resident Smart Theory Guy by simply saying that thousands of years of intermarrying with Europeans has made them not remotely Hispanic. Seeing as how there are still Maya peoples (an ethnic group) alive today in Mexico and Central America, isn't this kind of racist or at best, wildly ignorant? I kind of hope so because it gives me one more thing I can complain about with this movie. After giving my two hours I feel I've earned as much. Don't make the same mistake I did, folks.


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