- Annie Edison: Showing up early, helping others, sending girls away? Could this be a whole new Jeff Winger?
- Jeff Winger: Don't ruin it by approving it.
- Jeff Winger: For my partner in the Tango competition, I choose... the Dean.
- Dean Pelton: [Gasps] The fountain works!
- Britta Perry: I wish to end all wars.
- Troy Barnes: That's another rule. No wishes containing the word "all." Guaranteed ironic consequences.
- Britta Perry: I don't think anyone's gonna miss wars.
- Troy Barnes: Star Wars, Thumb Wars, wow, Storage Wars!
- Jeff Winger: Congratulations, it's me.
- [He notices that everyone is wearing the same kind of hipster reading glasses]
- Jeff Winger: Huh, I see we've all reinvented ourselves over the summer. A little late to the hipster party much?
- Britta Perry: A little much on the much much?
- Annie Edison: Stupid, selfish Jeff coming here, ruining our senior year. Ah, great! My "G"s are back.
- Shirley Bennett: Yes, it's crummy that Jeff is leaving early, but we're all graduating eventually.
- Annie Edison: But why the rush? What, so Jeff can run off and be a gross lawyer again? Troy and Abed start drinking coffee? I become a boring hospital administrator? Who wants to do that?
- Shirley Bennett: You do. Right?
- Annie Edison: Yay, hospital administration! Can't wait to be buried alive under a pile of paperwork and bed pans, just trying to summon the courage to ask out Dr. Patel, the gorgeous Indian neurosurgeon who doesn't even know I exist.
- Shirley Bennett: This isn't a conversation, is it?
- Troy Barnes: I can't believe we're finally getting into this class.
- Britta Perry: I can't believe there's a class called "The History of Ice Cream."
- Shirley Bennett: Oh, no, is all this for "The History of Ice Cream"?
- Neil: They overbooked it, so it's first come, first serve now.
- Troy Barnes: Oh, just like real ice cream.
- Jeff Winger: [observes Britta and Troy holding hands] Oh, so that's progressed.
- Britta Perry: [gushing] I mean, it's progressed, but it hasn't progressed-progressed. It's progressive.
- Shirley Bennett: [cynically] Good luck, Troy.
- Dean Pelton: Jeffrey... Jeffrey, wait.
- Jeff Winger: Dean, what are you...
- [sniffs]
- Jeff Winger: Oh! You smell like the floor of a movie theater.
- Dean Pelton: Yeah, but not for the usual reasons.
- Abed Nadir: I was trying to hang on to this moment because I was so afraid of the future, but then I realized all of this was once the future. And it was completely different from what I'd known before. And it was happening so fast, but in the end, or in the now, I guess, it turned out great.
- Dean Pelton: I can't let you go, Jeffrey. You weren't supposed to compete. You were supposed to walk away with the rest of the study group.
- Jeff Winger: You can't not get rid of me that easily.
- Dean Pelton: Oh, God, why'd I make it feats of strength and grace? It's as if I wanted you to win. But that can't be true.
- Jeff Winger: Thank you, Dean. By the way, you didn't have to come all this way to tell me that.
- Dean Pelton: Oh, no, it wasn't a problem. It's on my way.
- [inserts key to unlock an adjacent condominium door]
- Jeff Winger: Please tell me you're breaking into that condo.
- Dean Pelton: No, I bought it. Now we'll be like almost roomies. Oh, good, you got wine. I've got friends with benefits. No subtext. I don't know why I was so worried about change. This year's gonna be great. I'll be right over.
- Postman: [silently a crumpled, wet note is handed to the postman] Hello. My name is Kevin. I have Changnesia.
- [Ben Chang is revealed wet, naked and disoriented]
- Britta Perry: [treating Abed in a therapy session, though not a credentialed therapist] Okay. Here's the deal, Jessica Biel. The first day of senior year is emotional for everyone, so I hereby therapize you to go to your happy place whenever you feel stressed.