- Optimus Prime: [When he asks if anyone wants to see more Shia LaBeouf, only one person cheers] All right, all right, so there may be some hope for you yet.
- Optimus Prime: Christ, Jerry. Did you see the look on their faces when I mentioned the movie? All that misguided optimism; it's like telling a blind kid they're gonna pet a bunny when really, it's a porcupine.
- Jerry the Agent: Look, the product sells and you're still popular.
- Optimus Prime: So is Jersey Shore.
- Jerry the Agent: Your last film grossed $1,123,000,000 worldwide.
- Optimus Prime: But at what cost, Jerry? At what cost?
- Jerry the Agent: I told you: $1,123,000,000 worldwide. Now get some sleep, we've got some more auditions to get through. I'm gonna go do coke off a prostitute who's also doing coke in a hot tub.
- Optimus Prime: That's not physically possible.
- Jerry the Agent: I'll find a way.
- Optimus Prime: You know, I'm aware of the phrase, 'Keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer.' Me personally, I'm a fan of, 'Keep your friends close, and kill the son of a bitch who's been betraying you every single chance he gets.' It is the Autobot way!
- Optimus Prime: Admit it, you could listen to that sound effect for hours. If you could choose the sound of your orgasm, it would be that sound and you know it.