4.4/10
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1 user 1 critic

Teach Me 2 (2011)

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Inari Vachs
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Real sex with girls who love girls.

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Adult | Romance

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23 December 2011 (USA)  »

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Real b.s.
4 August 2016 | by See all my reviews

One of many current "directors on a pedestal", Mason has proved to me with her boring videos and even more boring q&a's in the inevitable BTS short subjects on the DVDs that she has no background in Adult Entertainment, other than learning the 1-camera method of recording sex acts on video for posterity. In a better world she would be a documentarian, perhaps just the right person to follow what's left of The Grateful Dead around the country recording their concerts for completist fans.

But instead she is cranking out endless shows notable only for hiring the most important talent of the moment. So hawked as "real sex" this all-star opus falls way short of the mark, basically delivering fake sex performed by gay for pay performers.

I'm on the hook to watch Part 1 as well, given the stellar cast, but I know exactly what I'm in for after 3 hours of Part 2. It's Mason's version of what Nica Noelle did so much better in her "Legends and Starlets" series: giving veteran porn actresses a match-up with hot young things. The key difference is readily noticeable: Nica does provide realistic sex, as per her crusade on video for the Sweetheart Video label, and before that the ongoing Girlfriends Films product.

Mason's approach is extremely tedious, each overlong segment staged for the camera rather than letting the actresses go. Most annoying is their interview (actually monologues) segments, patently phony. Many decades ago reading what was identified at the time as "semi-fiction" - the bios printed in Men's magazines like Playboy, Gent or Swank to accompany photo sets, I realized the details about the models were made up out of whole cloth. Perhaps they would get the eye color correct, though with black & white photos who could tell? Similarly, these very famous porn stars are pulling our collective legs with their personal descriptions, especially such genuinely interesting people like Inari Vachs and Francesca Le'.

The lesbian humping is routine, merely extended in length by Mason's minimalist editing and one-camera shooting. It wouldn't kill her to enroll in some film classes and learn the rudiments of over-the-shoulder shots, reverse-shot editing, etc., that even a TV hack learns before venturing onto a real-live set. The fact that the combined cast of these two junkers reads like a who's who of 21st Century porn (with a few vets like Nina Hartley adding in the end of the 20th Century too) is irrelevant to the meager results.


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